Grandpa: Remembering The Non-Regrets

Today marks two years since my Grandpa passed away. He was my dad's dad, a man I really looked up to, a grandfather who never really stopped fathering. He was a World War II veteran, and, like many of that generation, was an old-fashioned strong and silent type, but his quiet often spoke volumes.

Over this past year I've had to challenge myself not to dwell on the regrets I have about my relationship with him. It's easy to wish that I had spent more time with him or said different things or acted differently. But after a while, dwelling on these regrets just wears me down. I realized they were actually dishonoring to his memory.

So whenever I catch my thoughts wandering in that direction, I steer them a different way, into the "non-regrets." These are some of the things I'm glad I had the chance to enjoy with Grandpa while he was here.

Getting Our Ears Lowered

I don't regret going with him to get my haircut, or, as he called it, "getting my ears lowered." When I was little, maybe 5 or 6, Grandpa started a once a month tradition with me of going to get our haircut at a local barbershop. (This was before "styling salons" were popular... not that Grandpa would ever go to one.) I was scared of the barber the first time we went, but Grandpa bought me a Superman action figure when it was all done because he thought I was brave. We continued getting our hair cut together well into my teens.

Staying On Par

I don't regret all those years of golfing with him. Now, you've got to understand, Grandpa loved to golf. He'd be out on that golf course rain, snow, hurricane... always in competition with himself, challenging himself to get better so he could eventually beat his brother, Russell. I loved the long drives up to the golf course with him, enjoying a steamed hot dog in the club house afterward, and never once being able to beat him. He was never big on conversation, but I remember one day during the ride up to the golf course he give me some advice on women. "Treat 'um right," he said.

Full House

I don't regret living with my grandparents. When I moved in with them in my mid-twenties it was an opportunity to see Grandpa every day and get to know him in a whole new way. The man I saw day in and day out was consistent, optimistic, brave, and loving. I never saw him show anything but love and great respect to my Grandma. I never saw him give anything less than a warm welcome to anyone who walked into his house. Despite the illness he faced in the last few years of his life, I never saw him handle it like anything less than a champ.

When I Said "I Do"

I don't regret having Grandpa at my wedding. He passed away six months later, but the photo I have of him with me and my wife at our wedding reception is the last photo I have of us together, and I'm so glad that I was able to get my act together and settle down with a beautiful young bride before he passed away. He always wanted me to find a good woman. In fact, it seemed to perplex him that I was in my thirties and still hadn't found one to settle down with. So on my wedding day, I know I made him proud.

How To Afford Vacation When You Can't Afford A Vacation

Since getting serious about paying off debt the hubby and I decided to stop putting money toward vacations for a while. I know, I know. Crazy, right? We just figured that since we're young and don't have any kids we could live without expensive vacations.

Besides, we had squirreled away some money into a vacation fund which we decided to keep on hand in case either one of us was ever in danger of internally combusting without some kind of a vacation. Fortunately that hasn't happened.

In fact, fortunately, we have been blessed with many astoundingly affordable vacation opportunities in the last year or so, which can only attribute to God's grace. We got to go to Boston for a night; enjoyed a weekend at Old Orchard Beach, ME; and, of course, our infamous trip to NYC to be on the Katie Couric show (which you can read about here if you're awesome). And all of these vacations cost us little to nothing.

Now, granted, life isn't always so cooperative. Some people really struggle to find vacation time. In fact, we have some friends who went through our Financial Peace University class this spring who live for vacations. Cruise ships. Beach resorts. They look forward to it every year. It was a huge sacrifice for them when they cut back on some of their vacation expenses.

Jake and I know how hard it can be to make such sacrifices. When it comes to vacations though, there are lots of affordable alternatives that can do the trick until you've paid off enough debt to be able to afford that luxury cruise.

For this summer, my original idea was to camp out in our back yard, make the house off limits—except to use the bathroom—and cook all our meals over an open fire. Romantic nights under the stars. Just me and the hubby in a tent in the backyard. Close to nature. Deer. Bears. Ticks. Oddly enough, he wasn't thrilled about this idea, but I have no idea why ;-)

We considered staying at home for a week, making a plan to do some kind of activity every day—hiking, biking, kayaking, or some other free activity in the area. This idea was more palatable, because, honestly, sometimes after a vacation you come home and are just as tired from all the traveling and busy activities as you were when you left. So the idea of staying home and just relaxing was rather appealing.

The other idea was to do something with my family. In the past they have rented a cabin on a lake in Vermont, and so we talked with them about possibly renting something together.

All of us talked about a bunch of ideas, but nothing seemed to solidify.

And summer was upon us!

I needed a vacation. I didn't need to go anywhere or do anything special, but I needed some time off. Jake, ever the odd one—I love you, honey!—doesn't ever seem to need a vacation. I think before we were married it had been two years since he last took one.

Anyway, time was running short.

My dad—ever my hero!—happened to do some work on a camp at a lake in Groton, VT, and in exchange negotiated a week of vacation there. Ironically, the camp was right next to the one that he spent time at as a boy. Small world.

My parents are awesome, and whenever they get the opportunity to do something like this they never hesitate to get the rest of the family involved. Aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents... even my oldest sister from Florida, along with her husband and brand new baby girl—who is sure to be the hit of the week—are coming up from Florida.

And I. Can't. Wait!

I know getting a free week at a lake isn't an option for everyone, but my point here—as it has been in previous blog posts—is that there is almost always some alternative available if you take the time to look. I have a friend who recently camped-out in the backyard of a friend who lived a few miles from Hampton Beach. Not only did she get to catch up with some friends, but they also got a free vacation!

Maybe there is something you could do for someone else in exchange for a discount on a campsite, cabin, or other vacation spot. Maybe you have friends who would be willing to join you in sharing the expense of a vacation.

This may not be ideal, but, again, it's not forever. These are alternatives to help get you through these penny pinching years. The bottom line is that even if you have little to no money in the budget it doesn't mean you can't have a fun and memorable vacation. What it all comes down to is: how creative can you be?

Let us know some of the great things you have done on a staycation or awesome free vacation spots you have been blessed with.

Keep pinchin' :-)

Table Talk - Conversation Around The Dinner Table

The hubby and I don't have kiddos yet, but we are always talking about them, the future we hope they have, and what kind of parents we hope to become. We talk often about how we want to raise our children, things we've seen other parents do that we want to mirror, or things about our own upbringing that we want to do differently.

It's obvious that kids are going to introduce a rather radical life change when they finally arrive, so we've decided that there are some things we can do now in preparation for having kids that, hopefully, can become a habit before our lives are upended by little Jakes and Danis.

One thing that Jake and I have always agreed is hugely important is family meal times. We both think it's important to have a time where the whole family sets aside their electronics and gathers around the dinner table to pray, eat, and talk about what's on their minds.

Jake and I try to do this as often as we can. Sometimes we both have a lot to talk about. Sometimes there isn't much going on and dinner is quiet.

A good friend of mine has used dinner conversation cards to help get everyone at the table involved in some discussion over the years. So when I had the chance to get my hands on some conversation cards called Words Fitly Spoken, Uplifting Conversation Starters For All Ages, I jumped at the chance!

The cards come in two sets. The Original Edition, which contains 200 conversation starters; and the Thankfulness Edition, which contains 100. Each edition comes as a PDF file and is formatted for 3 1/2" x 5" cards, which makes them easy to print.

A few nights ago, the hubby and I took some conversation starters from the Original Edition to see how they were. It was fun! Some of the questions covered ground that Jake and I had already discussed, but others gave us some fresh insights into each other—which is always fun when you can learn something new about your spouse.

The cards include questions like:

—What family tradition would you most like to pass on to your children?

—How did you get your name?

—Describe one of your favorite pictures of your family.

Then we checked out the Thankfulness Edition and found these gems:

—Do you believe thankfulness is a feeling we experience or a skill we need to cultivate?  Why do you believe that?

—How do you feel when someone says "Thank you" to you?

Even Jake agrees that these cards are helpful conversation starters, especially for men who don't always like talking about their day. He said sometimes guys find it burdensome to recount the details of the day they've had, but if you can engage them in other topics it's easier to drum up some conversation, especially if they see that it's important to their wives.

We will definitely keep these cards handy for future use, especially for when the kiddos come around.

If you are interested in checking out these card sets you can find them at Good Old Days Farms. This link contains an affiliate link, which just means we will get a small commission from any purchase you may choose to make at no further cost to you.

One of the reasons I want to support these conversation starters—besides the fact that they are awesome—is because of this statement I found on the Good Old Days Farm website:

"The Good Old Days Farm is a community farm located in Blue Ridge, Texas, dedicated to helping people live simpler, healthier lives. Proceeds from all our website sales are reinvested into our small family farm. Through our website sales we are able to offer health education to our community and keep the cost of our organic fruits and vegetables low. At the heart of our community are people just like you!"

These people have a dream that I can appreciate :-)

We hope you check these out, and if you think it's a good fit for you family that you choose to purchase through them. We are sure that you and your family will get many laughs, gain knowledge about one another, and spark many more conversations though them.

Keep pinchin' ;-)

How Long Are You Considered A Newlywed?

So I've been married for two years now. Yeeesh. In some ways it seems like it's been a lot longer, but in other ways it seems like just yesterday that Danielle and I were kicking back on the beaches of Kelly's Island on our honeymoon.

So are we still considered newlyweds?

I found myself pondering this question as I looked back over our second year of marriage and considered how different it was from the first. Initially, Danielle and I were two fiercely independent people waging war over our independent ways as we struggled to compromise amidst a tumultuous frenzy of stubborn independence. Thankfully, year two was a little more mellow.

But back to the question at hand. Are we still considered newlyweds?

To answer my question I did what any highly-intelligent adult would do and consulted the most wise and insightful person I know: my Mother.

"Forever!" she said.

Oh, mom. You're such an optimist.

I then consulted the second most wise and insightful being I know: Google.

Google had a variety of answers stemming mostly from the personal perspectives of its chasm of users around the world. Many Googlers seemed to think that you were a newlywed for one year, but older generations suggested three.

So which is it—one or three?

Well, that depends on many factors, but, don't worry cause I've got it all figured out. You can call off Google. You can stop asking your mother. I'm here to give you the definitive answer... though, admittedly, I am a bit biased because this is my theory and my blog. (Best to take this with a massive grain of salt.)

ONE-YEAR NEWLYWED STATUS
Essentially this status applies to people who have either been down the marriage street before or are already so familiar with their significant other that a newlywed status of longer than one year seems redundant.

If you've been married once before, divorced or widowed, and you marry again, your newlywed status doesn't stick as long as your first one. Sorry. It's just a fact. You've been around this block before, so there isn't much "new" about it.

If you've been with the same person for more than three years already, especially if you've been living together, married life isn't going to have many surprises for you that you're not already aware of. So you had a ceremony and now you've got a ring on your finger. Big deal. That changes what, exactly? After one year you're just no longer a newlywed. Get over yourself.

TWO-YEAR NEWLYWED STATUS
Maybe you were high school sweethearts. Maybe you met in the military. Whatever the circumstances, your marriage was put off for a period of time for reasons beyond your control. And chances are you haven't been able to see your partner because of scheduling conflicts or distance. As a result there's a lot of pent-up eagerness to finally be married. You can't wait to be together and hold hands and look into each other's eyes and make all the rest of us sick with your very public displays of mushy affection. This fervor for each other will be what carries your newlywed gusto into a second year, but that's all you get.

THREE-YEAR NEWLYWED STATUS
You started dating. You fell in love. You got engaged. All within a year. Your passion contained one part forward momentum, two parts abstinence and tradition, and your wedding day was a celebration for the ages. Chances are this was also the only serious relationship you have ever had—or, at least, one of the few. You've got all the fervor and gusto from the Two-Year Newlywed Status, but it's pumped into one of those cardboard Pillsbury Cinnamon Roll tubes, packed tight and ready to burst at the seams. You'll be considered newlyweds for a long time. Your third year of newlywed status will be significantly dimmer than the first two, but it will still apply.

Now, as for my mother's "Forever Newlywed Status," I think there's some truth to that too. I think there is a way that you can forever remain a student of your spouse—learning about them, pursuing them—that will always keep some sort of youthful spark in your marriage, preserving that newlyweded feeling for a long time.

Danielle and I are reading a book right now called "Sacred Marriage," by Gary Thomas. In it he presents an interesting concept called "falling forward." The term comes from the author's experience hiking Mount Rainier. While attempting to jump across a fast-moving creek a friend told him that when he jumped, "just make sure you fall forward."

"Wise advice, because even if I didn't land on my feet, my forward momentum would at least keep me from being swept downstream. That advice applies in profound ways to Christian marriage. In this key relationship we must also learn to fall forward. When anger flares and problems surface or boredom takes over, we're tempted in our immaturity to pull back, become distant, or even seek out someone more interesting and less frustrating. But we mature as we choose to move forward through the pain and past apathy. We will fall, but we can choose the direction in which we fall, either toward or away from our spouse."

A marriage should be a never-ending work in progress. If work ever stops, you're going to lose your forward momentum. So long as you're always putting work into your marriage, whenever problems arise, that forward momentum should see you through.

As Danielle and I enter our third year of being newlyweds, my aim is to continue to pursue her, almost to the point of imagining that we're not married and that I'm still trying to win her heart. If we keep this forward momentum maybe we'll find that newlywed status can indeed last forever.

Cause seriously, when is my mother ever wrong?

Keep pinchin' :-)

Affordable Fun With My Crazy Sister

My sister Miranda recently visited from Florida for a few weeks, bringing with her all the lovable, crazy fun that she is. Miranda is like a life-sized Loony Tunes character with no verbal filter. She's a hilarious companion to have on any journey, and while she was here we took a few.

For one excursion we decided to go hiking, but, being the former Belyea girls that we are, no simple hike would suffice. The Belyeas go big or we don't go at all. So we decided to conquer Mt. Washington, the highest peak in the Northeastern United States, a whopping 6,288 feet. I had made the trek with a group of girls last summer, and it took us about 5-to-6 hours to get up and another 4 or so to get down, so I was expecting the same.

Miranda and I started our trip early, arriving at the bottom of the Ammonoosuc Ravine Trail at about 6:15am. We arrived at the top of Mt. Washington at about 9:45am. If you add that up it comes to 3.5 hours, which was a lot faster than I thought we could do—and pretty good if you consider that neither of us have done any hiking this year. Ahh, to be young :P

Along the way we stopped for pictures in front of waterfalls and the Lakes of the Clouds. It is a beautiful hike, and the day we chose could not have been better. From the top of Mt. Washington we could see mountain peaks as far as the eye could see!

For the trip down the mountain we chose to go the Jewell trail, but I have no idea why; it's the longest trail on the mountain and it is war on the knees!

Overall, the trip cost us only the gas money to get there and the $3 parking fee. It would've cost $36 for the two of us to drive up, or $136 to ride the train. I had ridden in our family van up the mountain before, and have even taken the train, but that's when I had free tickets from working at Clark's Trading Post. I recommend seeing Mt. Washington all three ways, if it's financially possible, but for this penny pinching hiker, the quality time spent with my sister, who I don't get to see very often, and the amazing views from the top made this excursion totally worth it!

Keep pinchin' :-)

Softball, Fireworks, the Hospital... Ahhh, Life!

I am cheap, so I LOVE finding things to do for free!

This past week the hubby and I have been super busy remodeling the upstairs, taking care of the yard and garden, and finishing up some work. So at the end of such a long busy week I needed something fun to look forward to.

My youngest sister had her first softball playoff game. They are the #1 seeded team and played the #8, however the two teams had not played each other in season. It was a pretty exciting game, which ended up going into an 8th inning. My sister's team won by a suicide squeeze... or at least I think that's what they called it.

Immediately after the game my sister was rushed to the hospital for some symptoms unrelated to softball—chest pains, rapid heartbeat. We were all supposed to go see some fireworks together, but with the unexpected ER trip neither Jake or I were sure what we were going to do. We went to my parents' house to wait.

While there we barbecued some chicken and made dinner for everyone in the hopes that they would return soon, and they did—just as the chicken was coming off the grill in fact. My sister was ok. The doctors didn't know why she was experiencing such symptoms, but they had run her through a battery of tests and found nothing seriously wrong. According to my dad she's back to being "semi-normal."

After dinner we drove to Warren, NH—minus my sister who decided to chill—and watched one of the most awesome fireworks displays I've ever seen. Apparently this happens every June in Warren; four different companies come to practice setting off their fireworks and try out new ones. It was a great show! What we usually see during a five minute grand finale at a typical fireworks show they did for thirty minutes! It was so bright at times I almost wished I had sunglasses.

I guess the point is: there's almost always something fun and free to enjoy if you look around. And you never know what you'll find—could be the most amazing fireworks display ever! Could be a trip to the ER. Preferably the former.

Are there any great free activities in your area that you have recently participated in or are planning to soon? Tell us all about it in the comments below!

Keep pinchin' :-)

Grandma's House Is The Place To Be

Pay a visit to Clan Grant in northern New England some day and this is what you'll find: a cluster of cars parked throughout the yard, a large front porch dotted with people in conversations ranging from Star Wars to some distant relative's kidney failure, little kids decorating the driveway with sidewalk chalk, a ball game on the TV in the living room, and food... lots and lots of food.

The Grant family gathered around grandma and grandpa's house, 1996.

This is a typical Sunday at Grandma's house, a large farmhouse, with some Victorian vibes (or a Victorian house with farmhouse vibes... whatever), in the middle of town on a quiet street. Grandma's house has always been the hub of activity for the Grants, a "watering hole" of sorts, where there's always free food, Internet, and a game of cards going on.

I learned to jump my bike off a ramp in Grandma's driveway back before it was paved. My cousins and I tore paths through the lilac bushes and surrounding banks playing GI Joe. I was raised just as much there as I was at home.

And today nothing has changed. Well, I'm no longer jumping my bike off ramps in the driveway, but Grandma's house is still like Mission Control for our family. Except today it's my cousin's children and my little nephews who tear up the landscape with games of tag and hopscotch and water guns and... whatever else kids are into these days.

For the members of Clan Grant, this is the quintessential American dream. We wouldn't do life any other way. We're a tight family. We love being together, especially if there are burgers and dogs on the barbecue and soda in the fridge—and yes, up here in New England, it's soda. Not pop.

This is part of the reason Danielle and I want to be closer to family. We were both raised in very similar New England families where mom and dad taught their kids proper manners and grandma's house was always a place full of generous helpings of love and cookies.

Danielle can recall a time when she was a kid and her mother wasn't home when she got a hair brush knotted up in her hair. Being only about a mile from her Nana's house she hopped on her bike and peddled down the road, tangled brush bouncing around on her head—which today would probably be considered fashionable—where grandma helped her get the hair brush free.

Both of us can recall countless other times where we would walk or ride bikes to grandma and grandpa's house for help, sweet treats, cable TV, and a little extra attention. In fact, when I think about the reasons we go to our grandparents' houses today I think to myself, "Nothing's changed!"

As a big picture thinker, I look at my family and see the ripple effects throughout the generations. Good family breeds good people. Good people make good leaders. And good leaders guide our country. The decline of America today isn't solely the fault of corrupt politicians, it's largely the fault of a broken family system rife with ever-increasing divorce rates and parents who've lost sight of a Godly vision for their families.

I know I'm not going to raise perfect kids, but by God I sure am going to try. There's an old saying that goes: "It takes a village to raise a child." Though there is some truth in that saying, there aren't many villages in today's world that I would want assisting me in raising my kids.

But I do I want as many Grants, Belyeas, and Elliots as I can find!

Keep pinchin' :-)

Society's War On Boys Has Gone Too Far

Stock photo by S Braswell
www.freeimages.com

Welcome to Penny Pinching Prose where we talk about finances, marriage, rap music... and occasionally devolve into infantile ranting about pet peeves and social awkwardness.

Such is today.

An issue that is near and dear to my heart is how boys—and even men in general—are treated in this culture. Now, Dani and I don't have kids... yet... but that doesn't mean we know nothing about raising children. We have parents. We have close friends who are parents. So we at least have an idea of what's involved. And when I see today's boys being told they can't play cowboys and indians because they may offend several different social groups, my heart hurts for them.

Moreover, I fear for the boys I'm (hopefully) going to have some day and the social repercussions they're going to face because, I'll be honest with ya, we're going to play cowboys and indians TO DEATH! And we're going to use toy guns and wrestle in the living room and set off rockets and learn about bows and knives and practical, every-day guy stuff, and, you know what?—damn a society that tries to tell me not to treat my boys like boys.

I take major issue with the rampant "anti-bullying" message currently plaguing our public school system. Don't get me wrong, there is a line that shouldn't be crossed when kids are being mean to each other and that line should be enforced by adults, bullies should be punished, and kids should be taught to stand up for themselves, but, NEWS FLASH: kids are kids! They're going to call each other "Poopyhead" and "Four eyes" and "Ugly fuggly dirt eater." Such is the realm of Kiddom. You can't coddle every child whose feathers get ruffled because another kid played harder than he did during recess.

The reason I take such issue with this strict anti-bullying stuff is because the great majority of it is aimed at boys who are, a lot of time, doing nothing but being boys. Boys run. They push. They shove. They fight. They like guns. They like adventure and being aggressive, but sometimes they just don't know how to express that stuff and so feelings get hurt. In the last 10-to-20 years America has seen a virtual war on masculinity that aims at making men better girlfriends to their wives while taking away their God-given nature to fight and protect and be strong and courageous and adventuresome.

American Enterprise Institute scholar Christina Hoff Sommers has recently released a new book called The War Against Boys, in which she talks about this very issue. She says it's past time to make elementary schools more friendly to boys, and she has four ways to do that: turn boys into readers; inspire their imagination; get rid of zero-tolerance policies; and bring recess back. “Being a normal boy is a serious liability in today’s classroom,” Sommers said in a short video lesson for Prager University, a conservative video series. ”Increasingly, our schools have little patience for what only a few decades ago would have been described as boyishness.” To no one's great surprise, Sommers is being met with tons of politically correct resistance.

I was recently hired to videotape an elementary school play when a couple of 7-to-10 year old boys noticed the pocket knife in my camera bag, which I keep with me because it has some handy tools I use with my camera gear. The boys were so unaccustomed to seeing a knife on their school campus that they took a lot of interest in it, but as soon as the principal noticed what they were so gaga about she confiscated it.

"You're not allowed to bring that onto school property," she told me.

She locked the pocket knife in the school cafeteria as though it had done something wrong, until the play was over and I had to leave, at which point she kindly returned it to me.

Our schools have become too sanitary, too feelings-centered, and so competition-free that the instinctual needs of boys are not being met. It drives me nuts, and it's one of the main reasons why my boys won't be going to public school. They'll be homeschooled where they'll learn tons of useful stuff, where they'll be taught respect and kindness, but not browbeaten when their youthful energy results in "boyishness."

And when the zombie apocalypse finally comes it will be my boys who lead the resistance for the simple reason that they'll be the only ones who know how.

The Ultimate Homemaking Bundle - Feather Your Nest This Spring

So, the hubby and I are fairly new to this whole blogging adventure. Originally we set out just to tell our story, keep a journal of our progress, and share what works and doesn't work as we journey to debt-free living.

While we enjoy this whole blogging thing it does take time, and so we ventured into the process of trying to earn a little money from our blog, hence the ads you may see, and the occasional "plug a product" post, in which we'll include a link to a product that we may earn some money on if it gets enough clicks. Honestly we haven't really made any money off of it so far, but since an income is secondary to our original goal we keep pressing on.

Just this week I was given the opportunity to plug an awesome bundle of e-books, which will be on sale until Monday. While this opportunity does offer me a pretty decent commission, I don't share it just because of that. After looking into all you can get from this deal I wanted everyone I know to hear about this amazing opportunity.

Here is a little video which will give you some info about why you need the Ultimate Bundle.

I purchased mine the other night and am so excited about all it has to offer. There are 78 e-books in this package covering topics like faith, kids, financial stewardship, food, heath and wellness, holidays and special events, homemaking, homeschooling, marriage, motherhood, pregnancy and babies, self-care, working from home, and blogging.

Not only are these fantastic books, but the authors seem like great people. By purchasing this bundle you are actually supporting missionaries, stay-at-home moms, and many working moms too! Here is a picture of some of the books included:

Epic, right?

And there's also about $200 in bonuses!

These books sold individually would come to a grand total of $698.

So, why am I sharing this with you? Because if you want to get your hands on all of these great resources and not pay $698, then all you need to do is purchase it between now and Monday night at midnight and you can get all of this and more for only $29.97 for the PDF files and $39.97 for Kindle versions. If this is something you think you would like to give to a friend they also have a special offer of buy two get the third free!

All you have to do is click on the picture below! 

I hope you enjoy this bundle as much as I am. Now I'm off to figure out how to make some "ice cream with nourishing ingredients" and then maybe read the Frugal Secrets of Real Foodies. If you have any questions about the bundle feel free to leave a comment and I will get back to you as soon as I can.

Keep pinchin' :-)

Recipes and New Traditions On Resurrection Day

Holidays. Something I took for granted as a child. We had fairly regular annual routines in my family growing up. The hubby did too. As we grew up, though, and siblings got married and moved away, both Jake and I have found our childhood traditions changing rapidly. While it's sad to say goodbye to old traditions I've decided rather to embrace the fact that we get to create new ones.

This Easter was a perfect example. With our families both scattered around this year, we decided to get together with some friends for a big lunch. It was great! Lots of yummy food, great conversation, and a beautiful day.

I don't know what future holidays will hold for us or what new traditions we'll form, but I know everything will be fun and exciting as long as I have the hubby to do it with... oh, and these two VERY important menu items. (And if ever these two dishes of pure yumminess aren't present, all chaos may ensue. In case you haven't guessed, this is a key issue for me.)

Sweet Potato Casserole

1 - 40oz can of sweet potatoes (drained)
1/2 c. milk
2 eggs
1 stick butter or margarine softened
1/2 c. sugar
1 tsp. vanilla

Mix altogether with mixer (mash potatoes first). Spread into buttered 9x13 pan.

Topping:
1 c. brown sugar
1/3 c. flour
1/3 c. margarine, softened
1 c. pecans or walnuts chopped

Mix topping together and crumble over potato mixture. Bake at 350 for 35 minutes. You can actually make this in advance if you want and just store it in the fridge until you're ready to cook it.

Strawberry Jello Salad
2 small or 1 large strawberry jello mix
1 container frozen sliced strawberries (about 16 oz., I think)
1 small can crushed pineapple drained
Sour cream

Thaw strawberries (sometimes I don't fully thaw). Stir jello with 2 cups boiling water. Stir in strawberries and pineapple. (Don't drain strawberries) Pour half of mixture into a glass container (9x13 or 7x9 for a thicker salad). Let set in refrigerator (about 30 minutes) When set, spread layer of sour cream. Pour rest of jello mixture and chill.

What are some traditions you have for the holidays? Special recipes, favorite places to eat out or family you always go to? Tell us all about it in the comments.

Keep pinchin' :-)

A Few Of My Favorite Things

Recently as I was out enjoying the beautiful weather I started to wander down the road of "I wish I could do this... Oh, but why does this have to cost money? ... Can't we be like everyone else and just..."

This is a dangerous path to start down, and oftentimes is not one that we can quickly backtrack from. I decided to instead think of some of my favorite things. Of course this line of thinking was triggered by just a few lines from that infamous Rodgers and Hammerstein song:

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens

Bright copper kettles with warm woolen mittens

Brown paper packages tied up with strings

These are a few of my favorite things

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels

Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles

Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings

These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes

Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes

Silver white winters that melt into springs

These are a few of my favorite things

When the dog bites, when the bee stings

When I'm feeling sad

I simply remember my favorite things

And then I don't feel so bad

While that was Maria's list, I will create my own:

Laughter. It really is one of the best medicines. Laughter can take my saddest self and make it merry again. My favorite laughter is definitely a good belly laugh from a baby or the laughter of little girls.

Games. One thing that both the hubby and my family have in common is playing games. We enjoy getting together with family and friends and playing all sorts of games. Have you ever heard of Telestrations? If not check it out! It has quickly become one of our favorite go-to games.

Sunshine. I LOVE the sun! I hate wasting a beautiful sunny day indoors. In fact, I have been known—if I've worked a third shift and am desperately tired but it's gorgeous out—to drag a mattress out on the back deck so I can sleep and still enjoy the day.

Talking. I love to talk. I have proudly worn nicknames including Chattabox! If I am home all day by myself I am bursting at the seems when the hubby walks through the door. Thankfully he knows this and is very gracious to listen.

Walking. Whenever I go out for a walk it energizes me, and if it's with a good friend it gives me opportunity to actually get in my million words for the day.

Heat. Ask anyone who knows me where they will find me all winter, the answer will be about three feet from the woods stove. I love the warmth so much I had the hubby help me completely rearrange what is supposed to be our dining room to make it a nice sitting area in order to be close to the wood stove.

Hugs. I love me a good bear hug. When the world seems upside down, and I really want to go live in that cave outback, a hug usually does wonders in making me feel better.

So, there you have it, a few of my favorite things. What are some things that are free that you love? Let me know so I can add them to my list!

Keep pinchin' ;-)

Birthday Week Celebrations!

Before we were married the hubby and I decided to make it a tradition for our family to celebrate a "birthday week." Neither of us had grown up with this concept, but some friends of mine celebrated birthdays this way and I always liked it. Birthdays are so special, and they're hard to celebrate in just one day. I mean, it's a celebration of a whole year of life, a year past, and a future one to come. Birthday weeks are far more interesting.

Here are some ways we celebrate birthday weeks on a budget.

• Cards/Notes. Throughout the week place little notes or cards in different places for the birthday boy/girl to find. Maybe in their lunch box one day, on their nightstand the next, or in a purse or bag. This year the hubby went so far as to line up dear friends and family to send me notes on each day of my birthday week—some came on Facebook, through the mail, and some via text message.
• Time: This birthday my husband took over ALL the chores, as in cooking, cleaning, laundry, EVERYTHING! Which enabled me to have more free time to read, play online, and relax.
• Favorites: Purchase or make little favorites throughout the week, such as a favorite candy bar, favorite meal, play a favorite game etc.
• Gifts: Instead of opening up all the gifts on one day consider spreading them out so they can be enjoyed throughout the week.
• Servitude: Maybe your spouse or child likes to have their nails done or receive a massages. That is something you could easily do for them during their birthday week. My hubby gave me a wonderful pedicure which included a foot soak, scrub, massage and finished off with painting the little piggies pink with white polka dots.

If you consider making this a tradition in your family be sure to plan ahead to make it a lot easier on yourself. It'll give you more time to implement your ideas, come up with alternatives if something doesn't work out, and involve friends and family if that's what you decide to do. Enjoy your birthday week!

Keep pinchin' :-)

Free Family Fun Date - Winter Olympics

The other day a Mom, who is going through Financial Peace University with us, made a comment about how hard it is to cut back on spending when it influences your kids so much. When it comes to things like going to the movies, theme parks, sporting events, restaurants, it can be quite hard to convince your children that it's worthwhile to let go of these things—even if just for a period of time.

Not having kids of our own I don't know what it's like to be in this position, but as I was doing the dishes today I was thinking about the "Free Date Nights" I've been doing for my husband and wondered, "Why not come up with a bunch of 'Free Family Dates?'" So, I'm going to try to post at least one idea for a family fun night every month for all those parents out there who need some affordable entertainment alternatives to enjoy with their kids.

Since we're in the middle of winter at the moment, I thought it would be fun to kick things off with some Winter Olympics. This family fun date can be just for your family, or you can invite a few other families to join you, or even host it at your church. The idea is to create easy games to compete in, with possible prizes or medals, with the ultimate aim of simply having tons of fun.

Game Ideas:

• Sled Race - Time each member of the family coming down the same sledding hill.


• Obstacle Course - Create some sort of course that would involve jumping over things, crawling under things, and winding your way through things. Again, time each participant to see who can do it the fastest. This could also be done as a relay pairing older children with younger ones to even out skill levels.


• Long Jump - Mark a spot in the snow for each participant to jump from to see how far they can leap. Measure each jump to see who is the longest.


• Speed Skating - If you have access to an outdoor free rink or a body of water you can have skating races, all members could skate at the same time so you wouldn't have to time it.


• Target Practice - Line up cans or bottles and give each member the same amount of snowballs to knock them down. You can change the distance based on the age or ability of each member.


• Snow Sculpture Competition - So long as the snow is conducive to sculpture making, divide your family up however you see fit and see who can make the most impressive snow sculpture. Set a time limit to keep things exciting. Have grandparents or neighbors be the judges. Or you could simply give each sculpture an award based on the funniest, most original, scariest, etc. 

Those are just some ideas to get the creative juices flower. You can always take to Google to find activities that are more suited to your family.

If you decide to have a Winter Olympics with other families some additional ideas could be:

• Cardboard Sled Race - Have each family build their own cardboard sled using only duct-tape and cardboard. They could either construct their sled at the event or do it at home as a family project. Time them down the same hill and see whose design is the fastest.


• Family Flag - Have each participating family bring a "family flag," which they can create to represent their family at the games.


• Have an Awards Ceremony - Acknowledge each athlete or the winners of each game, and present them with a medal, which can be as simple as string with a round piece of construction paper with 1st, 2nd, 3rd place on it, or as elaborate as you want it to be.

To end your games consider serving hot cocoa and cookies or have a bonfire and make s'mores. If you decide to host a Family Winter Olympics tell us all about the fun you had doing them!

Keep pinchin' :-)

How to Get Married Without Going Broke

A year and a half ago I said "I do," at what I consider a most magical wedding! But I'm sure I'm a little partial, considering it was mine. I wanted to share a few ways I was able to stay within the budget given to me by my parents.

Have the wedding and the reception at the same venue. This will not only save you the cost of having to rent two spaces, but it will save travel time, the effort of having to decorate two locations, and simplify travel and parking plans for your guests. Jake and I were married at the beautiful Opera House in Littleton, NH. (We stole away for some pictures at a couple different spots, but everything else happened at the Opera House.) My younger sister got married last May and chose to do it all at our church, which only has a minimal fee for use, so maybe check into your local church if you belong to one and find out what the fee would be.

DIY as much as you are able. The more you can do yourself the more you will save. As our wedding day approached I found myself sucked into the world of Pinterest where I found so many awesome ideas that I never would have considered. (Check out my wedding board!) I bought wholesale flowers so my bridesmaids and I could make our own arrangements, and I made the centerpieces with the flowers that were left over. With the help of a couple of good friends I was able to make pinwheels and ribbon sticks for the send off. My husband and his guys made a balloon valance to hang over the stage. Jake also designed our Save the Dates, invitations, program, and our Thumbprint Tree... You get the idea. So enlist your friends and family to help you with as much or as little as they are willing to do. There aren't many times in your life where you will have so many people willing and excited to help you, but your wedding day is one of them, so take advantage of it!

Be creative with your food.  I knew with my budget I couldn't afford to cater a meal for 215 people, but I wanted more than just cake. So I enlisted the help from my family and some awesome women in our church to make several different kinds of salads, breads and desserts for our buffet. My Gram made some of her famous Christmas bread. Nana brought her Crisp Ginger and Dad's Cookies. The meal was simple, but there was a lot of variety, and to this day I still get people asking who catered our delicious wedding buffet.

Be considerate of others financial circumstances when choosing dresses and suits. I knew my wedding day was "my special day," and I wanted it to be perfect, but I didn't want anyone to go into debt because of it, or feel like being a part of the wedding was a burden. So after choosing my colors, I let my bridesmaids pick out their own dress styles. That way they had the option of buying a $70, $100, or $150 dress, or even look for a used one if they wanted, just so long as it matched my color—which was begonia, by the way. :-) The guys had it even easier. All they had to buy was a tangerine dress shirt and silver tie, which I don't think cost more than $30 or $40 each. My flower girl and ring bearers were all from he same family, so for the sake of their parents I kept it simple and reasonably priced.

The wedding day is very important to a girl, but it shouldn't come at the expense of others. I want the memories of my wedding to be happy ones for everybody, not just me.

Ask around before purchasing or renting. I really wanted a Chocolate Fountain for my dessert buffet, and lo and behold my boss had one that she said I was free to borrow. I also got all of my old canning jars for the centerpieces from friends. My mom—after having married off four daughters—had a whole collection of wedding decorations, and I'm sure she's not the only one. Everyone has friends and family members who can help supply you with what you need. So ask around. And if you do end up having to purchase something, make sure to hang onto it so someday you can pay it forward when a friend or relative gets married.

Marry into an amazing family!  Without our families helping us so much with our big day I don't know how we ever would have pulled it off. My grandparents let us use their horse trailer to lug tables, chairs and other decorations to the Opera House; our families helped decorate and make yummy food; friends stayed after the ceremony to clean up. In the end, it was our friends and family who made the day happen. Without their help I probably would have gone slightly mad, or dug myself into a financial hole.

Getting married on a budget doesn't mean your wedding day has to suffer, you just have to be humble and willing to ask for help and daring enough to get a little creative!

Keep Pinchin' :-)

Trusting Friends to Help You on Your Journey

One thing that Dani and I have found helpful on our journey toward financial freedom is having the support of family and friends. I'm sure there are a few people in our inner circles who think we're totally nuts, and that's totally fine, but if you're going to undertake the dramatic steps necessary to become debt free you can't do it in secret.

Dani and I have two friends who just happen to live not far from us. After we took Financial Peace University, they became big encouragers of our endeavor. They understand where we are at in life. They believe in what we are doing. And they've helped us out in more ways than one—be it treating us to dinner, or loaning us certain items, or a cup of sugar, or just inviting us over for a relaxing night of games and laughter. And they never expect anything in return.

At first, accepting their support was difficult for me. I was 31 years old and was comfortably used to taking care of all my own needs. If I needed something I bought it. I was independent and I liked it.

But then I married a woman who approaches finances from an angle directly opposed to mine. She opened my eyes to a whole new way of living that involved a heck-of-a-lot more saving than I was used to. When we took Financial Peace University I realized that it was necessary for us to make some changes in the way we managed money, which meant making a lot of sacrifices. At first there were some really hard decisions to make, but they were worth it.

And thanks to our encouraging friends, it got easier. I had to let go of a lot of pride though. I had to come to terms with the fact that if Dani and I were going to meet our financial goals we both had to be willing to accept help sometimes.

A word of caution: don't accept help from people who are just going to gloat over you. Some people, even friends and family, just want to lend you support so you can owe them something later on, or they just want to hang it over you and shame you with it. If you can help it, don't accept support from these people because the emotional stress they'll cause you isn't worth it.

Fortunately for Dani and I, many of our friends and family have been more than generous with their support, and we're looking forward to the day when we can "pay it forward" by blessing someone else the way these people have blessed us.

Getting out of debt can't be done solo. You need accountability. You need encouragement. You need to let go of whatever pride might be holding you back and accept the help of understanding friends.

Keep pinchin' :-)

We Men Don't Want Budgets... but Whatever

It was easy for me to make the comparison between discussing budgeting with my wife and the idea of letting my face sear in the bottom of a cast iron fry pan... on a burner set on high... in the middle of a desert... surrounded by scorpions. So when Dave Ramsey first brought up budgeting during his nine week money-management course, Financial Peace University, it was no wonder that I felt like cutting class.

Budgeting never sat well with me, and I don't think it sits well with a lot of men my age. We're from that lesser-known generation of people born just between the grungy, pop-idol-wannabes of Generation X, to the post-modern hippies of Generation Y. A generation of people whose monicker is, "*shrug* I dunno." Budgeting is too strict for us. Too rigid. And we're too undisciplined to have anything to do with it. Our generation is too laid back and indifferent, and we've got too much to do to be bothered with making a budget. More's the pity.

But there are benefits to budgeting that I have slowly discovered.

Bear with me guys. You need to read this. For the sake of your wives, your families, and your own personal retirement future, you need to read this. So if you fear the word "budget" like I did, I'm going to help you out. For the duration of this article I'll be replacing the word "budget" with the word "bungie-jumping."

Honestly, the first three or four months of bungie-jumping was a nightmare. Every bungie-jumping meeting I had with my wife was a letdown. I didn't understand the bungie-jumping. She hated that I hated the bungie-jumping. But an odd thing began to happen. The more bungie-jumping we did the more I began to see it working because we had finally taken dominion over our money. It's a simple fact: if you don't tell your money where to go it will go away from you.

I can't stress this enough: you need to bungie-jump. I promise that if you commit yourself to bungie-jumping for at least six months you'll begin to see the benefits. Do it for a year and you'll wonder how you ever lived without bungie-jumping. You're debt will start to go down. You're savings will start going up. And bungie-jumping will become second nature. You have to tell your money where to go!

Seriously guys, in this day and age I think men need to start stepping up and doing more to take care of their wives and their families financially. Men have backslidden too far. We've become too careless, and not just with our money. You want to show your wife you love her? You want to show your kids that you're going to take care of them? Die to yourself. Put their needs ahead of your own. Start setting aside money for school supplies, birthday presents, romantic getaways, and start spending less money on your sports, your "guys' nights," and your hobbies. I'm not saying you'll never again get to enjoy the things you like to do, because as your bungie-jumping begins to take root you'll eventually be able to set aside money for those very things that you enjoy—be it golf or photography or hunting or sports. But your family has to come first.

What have you given up, or what are you going to give up, that will help your family's future?

Keep pinchin' :-)