Letting Go of Impressing People

As much as I hate to admit it, I have occasionally fallen prey to that inner desire to impress people. It's almost an innate human impulse, isn't it? We want to wear the right clothes, or get the right hair cut, or have the latest gadget.

After I asked Dani to marry me we decided that she would be in charge of the wedding and I would be in charge of the honeymoon. Not that I wouldn't have any input in the ceremony, or that she wouldn't get a say in where we spent our first week as a married couple, but when it came to the honeymoon I was pretty much in charge of all the details.

And, I got to admit, I had a lot of fun planning it! She knew where we were going, but there were a lot of details and surprises that I got to plan along the way—the hotels we stayed at, some of the activities we did. One of the biggest surprises I had planned was the 2013 Ford Mustang convertible that I rented to be our main source of transportation during our 10 day road trip to Kelly's Island, Ohio. Now, as any man reading this will understand, there are many wonderful slices of Heaven that can be experienced on one's honeymoon, but driving that Mustang was near Nirvana all in itself.

I remember when my Best Man and I picked it up at the airport and drove it around town the day before the wedding—the shiny paint, the top down, the purr of the engine, the sheer power under the hood. We could outpace any car on any road in about three seconds. But one of the things that made driving that car such a blast was all the heads it turned. When we stopped at a gas station, people were checking it out. When we passed people on the interstate, other drivers took notice.

And it felt good. We've all had that feeling of people watching us, knowing in the back of our minds that some are looking on in total envy, right? That feeling puffs us up a little, doesn't it? It makes us feel good. It's all stupid, when you think about it. I mean, we spend thousands upon thousands of dollars to buy fancy clothes, beautiful cars, and electronic gadgets that we don't really need to impress complete strangers! It's all lunacy.

It's all pride.

Making the decision to live on a tight budget means letting go of a lot of things. It means letting go of that inner desire to have people admire you for your house or your shoes or your cable TV package. It means letting go of that need to buy the next iPad the moment it hits the market. It means letting go of some pride. And if you can't let go of trying to impress people then you're going to hamper your ability to build wealth.

Sure, I feel a little silly sometimes pulling out my $40 Walmart phone in a room full of iPads and smart phones, but you know what I realized: the great majority of those people with the expensive suits and the pricey gadgets are in debt up to their eyeballs! They're struggling every week to make ends meet. Their blood pressure is up. Their hours of REM sleep are down.

Personally, I don't want to lose my REM sleep. I LOVE sleep too much. I can do without the other stuff.

Has letting go of this kind of pride been difficult for you?

Keep pinchin' :-)

Trusting Friends to Help You on Your Journey

One thing that Dani and I have found helpful on our journey toward financial freedom is having the support of family and friends. I'm sure there are a few people in our inner circles who think we're totally nuts, and that's totally fine, but if you're going to undertake the dramatic steps necessary to become debt free you can't do it in secret.

Dani and I have two friends who just happen to live not far from us. After we took Financial Peace University, they became big encouragers of our endeavor. They understand where we are at in life. They believe in what we are doing. And they've helped us out in more ways than one—be it treating us to dinner, or loaning us certain items, or a cup of sugar, or just inviting us over for a relaxing night of games and laughter. And they never expect anything in return.

At first, accepting their support was difficult for me. I was 31 years old and was comfortably used to taking care of all my own needs. If I needed something I bought it. I was independent and I liked it.

But then I married a woman who approaches finances from an angle directly opposed to mine. She opened my eyes to a whole new way of living that involved a heck-of-a-lot more saving than I was used to. When we took Financial Peace University I realized that it was necessary for us to make some changes in the way we managed money, which meant making a lot of sacrifices. At first there were some really hard decisions to make, but they were worth it.

And thanks to our encouraging friends, it got easier. I had to let go of a lot of pride though. I had to come to terms with the fact that if Dani and I were going to meet our financial goals we both had to be willing to accept help sometimes.

A word of caution: don't accept help from people who are just going to gloat over you. Some people, even friends and family, just want to lend you support so you can owe them something later on, or they just want to hang it over you and shame you with it. If you can help it, don't accept support from these people because the emotional stress they'll cause you isn't worth it.

Fortunately for Dani and I, many of our friends and family have been more than generous with their support, and we're looking forward to the day when we can "pay it forward" by blessing someone else the way these people have blessed us.

Getting out of debt can't be done solo. You need accountability. You need encouragement. You need to let go of whatever pride might be holding you back and accept the help of understanding friends.

Keep pinchin' :-)