Grandpa: Remembering The Non-Regrets

Today marks two years since my Grandpa passed away. He was my dad's dad, a man I really looked up to, a grandfather who never really stopped fathering. He was a World War II veteran, and, like many of that generation, was an old-fashioned strong and silent type, but his quiet often spoke volumes.

Over this past year I've had to challenge myself not to dwell on the regrets I have about my relationship with him. It's easy to wish that I had spent more time with him or said different things or acted differently. But after a while, dwelling on these regrets just wears me down. I realized they were actually dishonoring to his memory.

So whenever I catch my thoughts wandering in that direction, I steer them a different way, into the "non-regrets." These are some of the things I'm glad I had the chance to enjoy with Grandpa while he was here.

Getting Our Ears Lowered

I don't regret going with him to get my haircut, or, as he called it, "getting my ears lowered." When I was little, maybe 5 or 6, Grandpa started a once a month tradition with me of going to get our haircut at a local barbershop. (This was before "styling salons" were popular... not that Grandpa would ever go to one.) I was scared of the barber the first time we went, but Grandpa bought me a Superman action figure when it was all done because he thought I was brave. We continued getting our hair cut together well into my teens.

Staying On Par

I don't regret all those years of golfing with him. Now, you've got to understand, Grandpa loved to golf. He'd be out on that golf course rain, snow, hurricane... always in competition with himself, challenging himself to get better so he could eventually beat his brother, Russell. I loved the long drives up to the golf course with him, enjoying a steamed hot dog in the club house afterward, and never once being able to beat him. He was never big on conversation, but I remember one day during the ride up to the golf course he give me some advice on women. "Treat 'um right," he said.

Full House

I don't regret living with my grandparents. When I moved in with them in my mid-twenties it was an opportunity to see Grandpa every day and get to know him in a whole new way. The man I saw day in and day out was consistent, optimistic, brave, and loving. I never saw him show anything but love and great respect to my Grandma. I never saw him give anything less than a warm welcome to anyone who walked into his house. Despite the illness he faced in the last few years of his life, I never saw him handle it like anything less than a champ.

When I Said "I Do"

I don't regret having Grandpa at my wedding. He passed away six months later, but the photo I have of him with me and my wife at our wedding reception is the last photo I have of us together, and I'm so glad that I was able to get my act together and settle down with a beautiful young bride before he passed away. He always wanted me to find a good woman. In fact, it seemed to perplex him that I was in my thirties and still hadn't found one to settle down with. So on my wedding day, I know I made him proud.

A Whirlwind Of Weddings - Photos, Photos, Photos!

It was one of the first weddings that I ever photographed. This man came up to me at the reception, somewhat drunk, and asked me why I was a wedding photographer. His attitude reminded me of Jerry Seinfeld in the episode "The Big Salad" when he found out that the girl he was dating had previously dated Newman, his slimy archenemy.

Jerry confronted the woman and said in shocked disgust, "You went out ... with Newman?"

She answered, "Just a few times."

Then Jerry, with an unadulterated look of revolution on his face, asked, "Why?!"

"Why?!"

But back to the drunk guy.

He had once been a wedding photographer and absolutely hated it, he told me, which explained why he was so stunned that anyone could actually enjoy it. Honestly, at the time, I wasn't sure if I enjoyed wedding photography or not. It was still a new venture for me, and, plus, it made me extra money, so, why not?

Today I would have to say my attitude toward wedding photography has only grown increasingly enthusiastic. I love it! And I had the privilege this past August to shoot a wide variety of weddings that, as always, offered a plethora of people, places, and photographs. From honky tonk crowds to Hampton Beach to classy clients from New York. It's been a whirlwind of weddings!

This blog post is a celebration of all the happy couples I was able to get to know, and a glimpse of the many, many wonderful photographs I had the opportunity to shoot!

Click any of the photos to enlarge.

Rhiannon and Anthony

I loved the honky-tonk vibe at this wedding, the wild times at the reception, and the juxtaposition of beautiful girls and beautiful dresses against 4X4 trucks at the county fair grounds. Did I mention the bride did her first ever keg stand? This was a crowd that wasn't afraid to have fun, which is the sort of crowd that keeps me on my toes.

Cady and Garrett

This was a very traditional wedding with some of the most friendly people I've ever worked with. Since the bride and groom had never kissed, their family and friends did everything they could to make sure the young couple did plenty of smooching at the reception for everyone else's amusement. The result? Hours of hilarity!

Rebecca and Jason

I don't think I've ever been surrounded by so many classy-looking people who weren't afraid to act really silly. This was a very upscale wedding at The Rocks Estate in Bethlehem, NH, but the groom had a terrific sense of humor which unleashed a whole load of goofiness in many of the guests. And did I mention the most heart-meltingly adorable flower girl EVER?!

Abigail and Chad

There are two types of brides—those who give me little direction and just want me to snap pictures at will, and those who come prepared with long lists of very specific photographs for me to capture. Abigail is the latter, a bride with very specific tastes! She knew exactly what she wanted and came prepared with props, photographic examples, and a large time slot for post-ceremony photos, which made my job a breeze!

Beth and Peter

I've done several weddings for middle-aged couples and they're always unique. Such couples approach the whole wedding from a very different point of view than the younger ones. Young couples tend to focus more on details and aesthetics while making sure they have a perfect wedding day. More mature people usually focus on family, friends, and comfort in a more relaxed atmosphere. It's always a nice change of pace.

Olivia and Chad

I won't lie, this one was my favorite! But, I'm biased, because the groom was my cousin. Still, it takes the cake because I've always wanted to do a beach wedding, and, fortunately for everyone involved, we had beautiful weather for it! Chad and Olivia had also never kissed, and so the anticipation leading up to the big moment was evident on both of their faces. They were a very affectionate couple with obvious passion and love, which makes for nothing but amazing photographs!


Know anybody who is getting married? I work all throughout Vermont and New Hampshire. Message me, or visit my website, www.isleofturmak.com.

Where Did August Go???

We know, we know! You haven't heard much from the Penny Pinchers recently. Remember that post about Dog Days of Working? Well, if you're curious, that should explain our absence. We do hope to get back into the swing of things here, maybe not quite as regularly as we once were, but at least two or three days a week.

In the meantime here are some photos to show what we have been up to!


We spent Labor Day Weekend down in Hampton Beach, New Hampshire, for Jake's cousin's wedding. Jake was the photographer and Dani got to help by videotaping. We had a great time and it was a beautiful day to be at the beach!

Dani finished her first fitness Challenge Group and has plans to begin another one on September 22. If you would like to know more about it or are interested in joining you can use the Contact Us link at the top of the page or email Dani directly at daniordanielle@yahoo.com. She will get back to you!

While down at Hampton Beach Dani convinced Jake to do a photoshoot with her :-) It was tons of fun! 

That pretty much sums up our month!

Keep pinchin' ;-)

Earning A Little Extra Through Wedding Photography

So, yeah, not having a kids is a big boon when it comes to saving money. Don't get me wrong, I'm very much looking forward to the day when we bring a highly dependent, self-seeking, money-consuming scream machine into the world, but the fact of the matter is Dani and I have been able to put such a big hole in our debt because we are both able to hold full-time jobs, have few expenses, and haven't yet punched out any kids.

But that will change soon, I'm sure.

In the meantime we're doing everything we can to pay off our debt. And believe it or not that has a lot less to do with cutting back expenses than you might think. I mean, yes, doing things like finding a cheaper cable TV package or not going out to eat so much are going to ensure that less money bleeds out of your budget, but the bigger payoff is in good old-fashioned hard work.

Dani babysits when the opportunities allow. She also makes and sells crochet hats (which are super-cute, in my totally unbiased opinion), and I take on odd jobs here and there as they come around

One of things that has helped us the most is my photography. While photographing a wedding I can make almost double what I make in a week at my graphic design job, and I'd probably make a lot more if we lived somewhere else. The problem is our tiny rural area of the country doesn't see a huge demand for wedding photographers.

The problem is two-fold:

1. The population 'round these parts is the opposite of dense. Not a lot of people = not a lot of weddings.


2. And the second factor has to do with the fact that even though there are people getting married, they are really spread out. So in order to make my wedding photography a full-time job I'd have to market myself across state lines and be willing to drive several hours to get to a job, which can seriously inflate my prices.

Regardless, I do what I can, taking almost any job I can get my hands on, and enjoying the extra money when it comes. Dani and I have decided any money earned through my photography gets split two ways: half goes into paying off our debt, and the other half goes into maintaining the photography business—new camera gear, computer software, etc.


I write about this as an example of using what you've got to help yourself make some extra green. It may not make as much as photography, it may make more, but the point is you're using that gazelle intensity to develop a better work ethic and earn more money. And, furthermore, you're employing disciplines that will help you become a better money manager in the long run.

So, until that debt gets paid off and you can live like no one else...

Keep pinchin' :-)

How to Get Married Without Going Broke

A year and a half ago I said "I do," at what I consider a most magical wedding! But I'm sure I'm a little partial, considering it was mine. I wanted to share a few ways I was able to stay within the budget given to me by my parents.

Have the wedding and the reception at the same venue. This will not only save you the cost of having to rent two spaces, but it will save travel time, the effort of having to decorate two locations, and simplify travel and parking plans for your guests. Jake and I were married at the beautiful Opera House in Littleton, NH. (We stole away for some pictures at a couple different spots, but everything else happened at the Opera House.) My younger sister got married last May and chose to do it all at our church, which only has a minimal fee for use, so maybe check into your local church if you belong to one and find out what the fee would be.

DIY as much as you are able. The more you can do yourself the more you will save. As our wedding day approached I found myself sucked into the world of Pinterest where I found so many awesome ideas that I never would have considered. (Check out my wedding board!) I bought wholesale flowers so my bridesmaids and I could make our own arrangements, and I made the centerpieces with the flowers that were left over. With the help of a couple of good friends I was able to make pinwheels and ribbon sticks for the send off. My husband and his guys made a balloon valance to hang over the stage. Jake also designed our Save the Dates, invitations, program, and our Thumbprint Tree... You get the idea. So enlist your friends and family to help you with as much or as little as they are willing to do. There aren't many times in your life where you will have so many people willing and excited to help you, but your wedding day is one of them, so take advantage of it!

Be creative with your food.  I knew with my budget I couldn't afford to cater a meal for 215 people, but I wanted more than just cake. So I enlisted the help from my family and some awesome women in our church to make several different kinds of salads, breads and desserts for our buffet. My Gram made some of her famous Christmas bread. Nana brought her Crisp Ginger and Dad's Cookies. The meal was simple, but there was a lot of variety, and to this day I still get people asking who catered our delicious wedding buffet.

Be considerate of others financial circumstances when choosing dresses and suits. I knew my wedding day was "my special day," and I wanted it to be perfect, but I didn't want anyone to go into debt because of it, or feel like being a part of the wedding was a burden. So after choosing my colors, I let my bridesmaids pick out their own dress styles. That way they had the option of buying a $70, $100, or $150 dress, or even look for a used one if they wanted, just so long as it matched my color—which was begonia, by the way. :-) The guys had it even easier. All they had to buy was a tangerine dress shirt and silver tie, which I don't think cost more than $30 or $40 each. My flower girl and ring bearers were all from he same family, so for the sake of their parents I kept it simple and reasonably priced.

The wedding day is very important to a girl, but it shouldn't come at the expense of others. I want the memories of my wedding to be happy ones for everybody, not just me.

Ask around before purchasing or renting. I really wanted a Chocolate Fountain for my dessert buffet, and lo and behold my boss had one that she said I was free to borrow. I also got all of my old canning jars for the centerpieces from friends. My mom—after having married off four daughters—had a whole collection of wedding decorations, and I'm sure she's not the only one. Everyone has friends and family members who can help supply you with what you need. So ask around. And if you do end up having to purchase something, make sure to hang onto it so someday you can pay it forward when a friend or relative gets married.

Marry into an amazing family!  Without our families helping us so much with our big day I don't know how we ever would have pulled it off. My grandparents let us use their horse trailer to lug tables, chairs and other decorations to the Opera House; our families helped decorate and make yummy food; friends stayed after the ceremony to clean up. In the end, it was our friends and family who made the day happen. Without their help I probably would have gone slightly mad, or dug myself into a financial hole.

Getting married on a budget doesn't mean your wedding day has to suffer, you just have to be humble and willing to ask for help and daring enough to get a little creative!

Keep Pinchin' :-)