How To Refocus Your Finances

Hi. Remember us?

Yeah, we sort of lost track of our blog about three months ago when it fell into the abyss between Mt. Busy and Mt. Really Busy; they're two peaks in northern Vermont on the road to Overwhelmington, overlooking lakes Where-Has-Our-Life-Gone and It's-February-Already. (Yes, those are real lakes.)

These past wintry months have brought a lot of exciting changes into our lives. Right now, we're a week into sub-zero temperatures and I feel sort of like our life was put into a little snow globe and had the daylights shook out of it. Except what's falling down around us isn't fake plastic snow, it's a crazily scary, busy, fun, weird, roller-coaster ride of uncertainty. Our home is almost sold. Neither of us have full-time jobs. It was 30 below on Tuesday.

Whether we like it or not, a financial refocusing is what we have to do right now, and with Christmas having come and gone and New Year's resolutions in full-swing it's likely that's where you're at too. Getting back into the habit of budgeting and financial planning may sound daunting, even overwhelming, but here's the truth: it's easier the second time around.

If your financial focus has fallen by the wayside, the only thing that makes it seem difficult to start back up again is your memory of how difficult it was the first time. Do you remember the first time? I do. It was six brutal months of weekly budget meetings between me, a money spender, and my wife, a money hoarder, butting heads, bickering, crying, until we finally figured out how to do this "budgeting thing" together.

But the second time around isn't like the first. We know the drill. We know what we have to do. Thankfully, Danielle and I never really quit doing our budget meetings, we just have them once a month now instead of once a week. Still, with the major upheaval our life has undergone these last few months, it's time to sit down and figure out what our financial priorities are. This isn't a bad practice to do every once in a while. So...

Think Small

Refocusing your financial goals needs to be broad in scope, but small in steps. One of the reasons people veer off course is because they set their goals too far ahead. Their goals become too unobtainable. They get discouraged. They quit. This is why Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University approaches budgeting with the "Baby Steps." The first step—get $1,000 of emergency money in the bank—is obtainable within a month for most people. Seeing progress that quickly is encouraging and helps you to realize that, yes, this budgeting process can work!

So as you refocus your finances, make your goals realistic. Maybe your broad goal is to pay off the house in the next ten years, but for this month make it a goal to put an extra $100 down on the mortgage, or $1,000 in six months. The way we handle money is tied to our emotions, and our emotions are motivated when we see progress, so set obtainable "baby steps."

Keep Those Meetings Coming

You and your spouse need to be making your financial plans together. Maybe, if you really love crunching numbers and your spouse doesn't, you can handle it on your own, but you need to at least make an effort to include your spouse in what's going on. Danielle and I talk about our finances a lot. We help keep each other focused and motivated. Knowing what financial dreams are on her mind are important to me, and, frankly, I couldn't do all this math crap without her.

Pray

No financial plan should begin without consulting the One who owns it all anyway. "Everything comes from You, and we have given You only what comes from Your hand," 1 Chronicles 29:14. God knows your future far better than you do. He knows what storms are coming your way and how He's going to provide for your every need. You and your spouse—or financial accountability partner if you're single—need to keep God on the front lines of your financial goals.

So start there. Pray. Think small. Keep those budget meetings in the pipeline. Let us know what you're struggling with so we can pray for you and learn more about this stuff alongside you.

Keep pinchin' :)

Breaking Free Part 1: My Personal Wake-Up Call

It's been two years since Danielle and I started down this road toward debt-free living. It's been a challenge, a fun ride, a ministry, and a blessing, all rolled into one adventure. This week we'd like to look back on our journey, share some of the intricacies of how and why we do it, and hopefully encourage you to gain some ground in your financial battle.

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I can't name a date and time when it happened, but it was shortly after Danielle and I were married, and when it happened it was like a train pulling into the station, towing with it freight car after freight car of realizations and harsh realities.

I realized I couldn't eat out whenever I wanted.

I realized I couldn't spend every weekend at the movies.

I realized my collection of Batman action figures wasn't going to be growing anytime soon.

I realized that I suddenly had a mortgage and a bunch of other financial responsibilities that took priority.

Most importantly, I realized that I had a wife who had this innate need within her to feel cared for, and my going around spending our money all willy-nilly style was going to make her feel insecure. I realized that I needed to step up to the plate of manhood and aim for the bleachers.

I'm glad this all dawned on me when it did, but I just wish it had happened sooner. I tell you guys, you men, if you're not developing good money habits right now the struggle to keep your head above the financial waters is going to multiply when you get married, buy a house, and start a family. If you've got boys you're raising you need to start preparing them for this because the early years of married life are nothing but a time bomb waiting to happen for someone who is completely unprepared to handle the larger financial responsibilities of life.

Thankfully, the Lord put it on my heart to take Financial Peace University about three months after Danielle and I were married, after we had been through three tumultuous months of arguing over money matters, wondering if our differences in this area were going to drive us apart.

Dave said two things that really made sense to me.

Saving money is about emotion

Dave says, "Personal finance is 80% behavior and only 20% head knowledge." If you want to improve your financial situation, you need to change the way you FEEL about money. If you want your sons and daughters to grow up with a responsible approach to handling finances, you need to make sure they develop healthy feelings about it.

There are different ways of doing this, but it begins with getting out of the "credit card" mindset that permeates today's culture. When you pay cash for something, you FEEL the money leaving you. This is not true with credit cards. Paying with plastic develops a disconnect between people and money.

Saving money is about contentment

"Saving money is about emotion and contentment," says Dave. "When you aren't overspending to impress others, you can win."

Comparison is a dangerous trap. It kills contentment, and if you can't model contentment in your life then your kids will never learn it either.

Dave says, "Being content is the spiritual state of not needing something else to feel whole. When you're content, you're not motivated to buy stuff... Don't get sucked into the illusion that you'll be happy when you have that new car, that new home, or $1 million in the bank. Stuff does not equal happiness."

We'll talk more about contentment on Wednesday in "Overcoming the Comparison Trap."

But, for now I'll just say that learning about how Danielle felt about money, understanding how I felt about money, how to be content and less concerned with keeping up with the Joneses was a real eye-opener for me.

What it really boiled down to was choice. Choosing to be content is immediately freeing. You can choose in any given moment to be content or not. Choosing to not concern yourself with what others think about you or your spending habits is a huge leap toward finding true financial peace.

Other posts in this series:
Part 2: How To See Some Hope
Part 3: Overcoming The Comparison Trap
Part 4: The Things We Didn't Give Up

Table Talk - Conversation Around The Dinner Table

The hubby and I don't have kiddos yet, but we are always talking about them, the future we hope they have, and what kind of parents we hope to become. We talk often about how we want to raise our children, things we've seen other parents do that we want to mirror, or things about our own upbringing that we want to do differently.

It's obvious that kids are going to introduce a rather radical life change when they finally arrive, so we've decided that there are some things we can do now in preparation for having kids that, hopefully, can become a habit before our lives are upended by little Jakes and Danis.

One thing that Jake and I have always agreed is hugely important is family meal times. We both think it's important to have a time where the whole family sets aside their electronics and gathers around the dinner table to pray, eat, and talk about what's on their minds.

Jake and I try to do this as often as we can. Sometimes we both have a lot to talk about. Sometimes there isn't much going on and dinner is quiet.

A good friend of mine has used dinner conversation cards to help get everyone at the table involved in some discussion over the years. So when I had the chance to get my hands on some conversation cards called Words Fitly Spoken, Uplifting Conversation Starters For All Ages, I jumped at the chance!

The cards come in two sets. The Original Edition, which contains 200 conversation starters; and the Thankfulness Edition, which contains 100. Each edition comes as a PDF file and is formatted for 3 1/2" x 5" cards, which makes them easy to print.

A few nights ago, the hubby and I took some conversation starters from the Original Edition to see how they were. It was fun! Some of the questions covered ground that Jake and I had already discussed, but others gave us some fresh insights into each other—which is always fun when you can learn something new about your spouse.

The cards include questions like:

—What family tradition would you most like to pass on to your children?

—How did you get your name?

—Describe one of your favorite pictures of your family.

Then we checked out the Thankfulness Edition and found these gems:

—Do you believe thankfulness is a feeling we experience or a skill we need to cultivate?  Why do you believe that?

—How do you feel when someone says "Thank you" to you?

Even Jake agrees that these cards are helpful conversation starters, especially for men who don't always like talking about their day. He said sometimes guys find it burdensome to recount the details of the day they've had, but if you can engage them in other topics it's easier to drum up some conversation, especially if they see that it's important to their wives.

We will definitely keep these cards handy for future use, especially for when the kiddos come around.

If you are interested in checking out these card sets you can find them at Good Old Days Farms. This link contains an affiliate link, which just means we will get a small commission from any purchase you may choose to make at no further cost to you.

One of the reasons I want to support these conversation starters—besides the fact that they are awesome—is because of this statement I found on the Good Old Days Farm website:

"The Good Old Days Farm is a community farm located in Blue Ridge, Texas, dedicated to helping people live simpler, healthier lives. Proceeds from all our website sales are reinvested into our small family farm. Through our website sales we are able to offer health education to our community and keep the cost of our organic fruits and vegetables low. At the heart of our community are people just like you!"

These people have a dream that I can appreciate :-)

We hope you check these out, and if you think it's a good fit for you family that you choose to purchase through them. We are sure that you and your family will get many laughs, gain knowledge about one another, and spark many more conversations though them.

Keep pinchin' ;-)

How Long Are You Considered A Newlywed?

So I've been married for two years now. Yeeesh. In some ways it seems like it's been a lot longer, but in other ways it seems like just yesterday that Danielle and I were kicking back on the beaches of Kelly's Island on our honeymoon.

So are we still considered newlyweds?

I found myself pondering this question as I looked back over our second year of marriage and considered how different it was from the first. Initially, Danielle and I were two fiercely independent people waging war over our independent ways as we struggled to compromise amidst a tumultuous frenzy of stubborn independence. Thankfully, year two was a little more mellow.

But back to the question at hand. Are we still considered newlyweds?

To answer my question I did what any highly-intelligent adult would do and consulted the most wise and insightful person I know: my Mother.

"Forever!" she said.

Oh, mom. You're such an optimist.

I then consulted the second most wise and insightful being I know: Google.

Google had a variety of answers stemming mostly from the personal perspectives of its chasm of users around the world. Many Googlers seemed to think that you were a newlywed for one year, but older generations suggested three.

So which is it—one or three?

Well, that depends on many factors, but, don't worry cause I've got it all figured out. You can call off Google. You can stop asking your mother. I'm here to give you the definitive answer... though, admittedly, I am a bit biased because this is my theory and my blog. (Best to take this with a massive grain of salt.)

ONE-YEAR NEWLYWED STATUS
Essentially this status applies to people who have either been down the marriage street before or are already so familiar with their significant other that a newlywed status of longer than one year seems redundant.

If you've been married once before, divorced or widowed, and you marry again, your newlywed status doesn't stick as long as your first one. Sorry. It's just a fact. You've been around this block before, so there isn't much "new" about it.

If you've been with the same person for more than three years already, especially if you've been living together, married life isn't going to have many surprises for you that you're not already aware of. So you had a ceremony and now you've got a ring on your finger. Big deal. That changes what, exactly? After one year you're just no longer a newlywed. Get over yourself.

TWO-YEAR NEWLYWED STATUS
Maybe you were high school sweethearts. Maybe you met in the military. Whatever the circumstances, your marriage was put off for a period of time for reasons beyond your control. And chances are you haven't been able to see your partner because of scheduling conflicts or distance. As a result there's a lot of pent-up eagerness to finally be married. You can't wait to be together and hold hands and look into each other's eyes and make all the rest of us sick with your very public displays of mushy affection. This fervor for each other will be what carries your newlywed gusto into a second year, but that's all you get.

THREE-YEAR NEWLYWED STATUS
You started dating. You fell in love. You got engaged. All within a year. Your passion contained one part forward momentum, two parts abstinence and tradition, and your wedding day was a celebration for the ages. Chances are this was also the only serious relationship you have ever had—or, at least, one of the few. You've got all the fervor and gusto from the Two-Year Newlywed Status, but it's pumped into one of those cardboard Pillsbury Cinnamon Roll tubes, packed tight and ready to burst at the seams. You'll be considered newlyweds for a long time. Your third year of newlywed status will be significantly dimmer than the first two, but it will still apply.

Now, as for my mother's "Forever Newlywed Status," I think there's some truth to that too. I think there is a way that you can forever remain a student of your spouse—learning about them, pursuing them—that will always keep some sort of youthful spark in your marriage, preserving that newlyweded feeling for a long time.

Danielle and I are reading a book right now called "Sacred Marriage," by Gary Thomas. In it he presents an interesting concept called "falling forward." The term comes from the author's experience hiking Mount Rainier. While attempting to jump across a fast-moving creek a friend told him that when he jumped, "just make sure you fall forward."

"Wise advice, because even if I didn't land on my feet, my forward momentum would at least keep me from being swept downstream. That advice applies in profound ways to Christian marriage. In this key relationship we must also learn to fall forward. When anger flares and problems surface or boredom takes over, we're tempted in our immaturity to pull back, become distant, or even seek out someone more interesting and less frustrating. But we mature as we choose to move forward through the pain and past apathy. We will fall, but we can choose the direction in which we fall, either toward or away from our spouse."

A marriage should be a never-ending work in progress. If work ever stops, you're going to lose your forward momentum. So long as you're always putting work into your marriage, whenever problems arise, that forward momentum should see you through.

As Danielle and I enter our third year of being newlyweds, my aim is to continue to pursue her, almost to the point of imagining that we're not married and that I'm still trying to win her heart. If we keep this forward momentum maybe we'll find that newlywed status can indeed last forever.

Cause seriously, when is my mother ever wrong?

Keep pinchin' :-)

Celebrating Two Years Of Marriage

Today the hubby and I celebrate two years of marriage! It's been a crazy roller coaster ride, but all the ups and downs have just added to the thrill.

We went out for a special lunch on Sunday at the beautiful Juniper's Restaurant at The Wildflower Inn. The food was delicious, the view was gorgeous, and the company couldn't have been better.

As I think back over the last two years a few things stand out:

• We began our journey to debt-free living, and have so far paid off over $25,000 in debt.
• We got to be on the Katie Couric Show and meet Dave Ramsey and his daughter Rachel Cruze and win $594 in the money booth!
• We have gone on vacation to Boston, and Old Orchard Beach in Maine.
• We've had a blast creating three music videos, all of which Jake wrote the lyrics for.
• We've completed lots of home improvement projects together.
• We recently came to the decision to sell our great big beautiful home.
• We are still excited about all that we have to look forward to in our future, including hopefully transforming our imaginary kiddos into real kiddos, adopting some more kiddos, moving closer to our church and Jake's family and growing old together.

If you were to ask Jake (and I just did) he would say that our second year of marriage has been marked by events smaller than our first year, but more significant. Where are first year was a bit of a struggle as two extremely independent people learned how to share their lives, our second year saw us both learning how to relate to each other better while growing emotionally and spiritually. Our first year was tough. Our second year was much improved.

We've made it a tradition to return to the Ivy Chapel in our hometown of Bethlehem, NH, and re-take a photo from our wedding day every year on our anniversary.

Our Wedding Day 2012

First Anniversary 2013

Second Anniversary 2014

And Lord willing we will have about 50 more of these photos someday!

Keep pinchin' :-)

A "That's So Easy" Chicken Parmesan Recipe

A Romantic Chicken Parmesan Dinner For The Wife - How you can do it too!

Keep Pinchin' :-)

New Year's Resolutions 4 Months Down

Can you believe it's already May? While I have longed for the warmer weather, time seems to be going by faster than ever. I haven't checked in on my New Year's Resolutions in a couple of months, but that doesn't mean I have forgotten them, so here's my latest update.


Faithfulness in our finances. The end of March brought the end of our first time of leading Financial Peace University. It was so fun to go through the class again, and celebrate all the successes our group had throughout the process. In our own finances we have faced many unplanned bills with my car, the furnace, and our escrow account being adjusted up by several hundred dollars. However, God has been faithful to continue to give both of us extra work, so none of these costs have forced us to dip into our emergency savings. We also looked into our car and house insurance and just changed policies that gave us better coverage with a savings of over $300 a year!

Faithfulness in living a healthy lifestyle. My family decided to commence the Belyea Biggest Loser competition last week, which will go through the end of the year, and though I had already started runningI've found that this little competition is making me want to be more faithful. With the warmer weather I am also trying to be more active outside.

Faithfulness in my spiritual life. I am continuing to do the Word of Life Quiet Time online. We have been in 1 Thessalonians recently which I've really enjoyed. This past week I have begun to look into Scripture about our words, and am working on my own little devotional about that, which is fun and good for me. 

Faithfulness in being good stewards of the homestead God has blessed us with. We have continued to host a Faith Group in our home every other week, which we enjoy a lot! Our apple tree, blueberry bushes, and strawberry plants arrived a couple of weeks ago and are in the ground now. I also planted some peas last weekend, and hope to plant lettuce, carrots and more peas in the next week. We are also hoping to start renovating our upstairs into a vacation rental—we don't really use the upstairs space at the moment and we could use the extra income.

Faithfulness in being the wife my husband needs me to be. I am working on turning my sarcasm into encouragement, hence my study on words. That is the biggest area that I can currently see that needs work because I so often forget how damaging my words can be, and how much he really needs me to be his cheerleader.

How are you doing with your New Year's Resolutions? If some have fallen by the wayside, it's never too late to pick them back up again!

Keep pinchin' :-)

How Being Ambassadors for FPU Just Sorta Kinda Fell Into Our Laps

Dani and I visited a church this winter to talk about Financial Peace University. We presented our testimony, talked about the upcoming FPU class at our church and why we believed so strongly in the program. After the service a man came up to me and said, "That's quite a ministry the Lord has given to you!"

I was sort of taken aback because until that moment it had never occurred to me that what we were doing was a ministry. Dani and I are just a Mr. and Mrs. Schmo who took a class and liked it enough to tell others about it. We're not professionals. We don't have all the answers. We sort of just fell into this.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. It's been great. We have a lot of fun when we visit a church and talk about FPU. We usually show our video, "The Penny Pinching Rap," to garner some laughs after we've talked about how Dave Ramsey's biblical-based money management program helped our marriage.

What's interesting to me is to look back over the last couple years of our marriage and see that being the ambassadors of FPU that we've become is actually an answer to prayer.

When we first got married, we decided to spend the first year of our marriage staying clear of any ministry opportunities or extra work that would occupy large quantities of our time. It's actually suggested in Scripture that couples do this.

If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war

or have any other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free

to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married.

—Deuteronomy 24:5

I knew marriage was going to be hard, especially for two people like us who come from fiercely independent lifestyles. So I thought it was wise for us to step back from any extra-curricular activities we were involved in and just focus on our new life together.

And then our first year together came to a close and we began looking at how we could serve our church. I enjoy helping out at church meals, and setting up/taking down after events. I'm skilled with video equipment so helping with our church's video ministry was something I wanted to be a part of. As for Dani, she really enjoys being with children, teaching Sunday School and helping out in the nursery. There was lots of stuff we were drawn to do as individuals, but nothing that we could really do as a couple.

We prayed about it a few times, asking God to reveal to us what we could do together, and, amazingly, he dropped Financial Peace University in our laps. Doing it together has given us something else to talk about with each other, and it gives us shared experiences that we can enjoy. We have yet to see how God is going to fully use us in this area, but it's amazing to look back and see how he has answered our prayer and given us a ministry that we can both be a part of.

Something I try to remember when we visit churches and talk about FPU is that this isn't about us. It's not about me. It's not about Dani. It's about God. I mean, yes, we're there to tell our story and give some details about the class, but it's more important that we give God the glory for all that FPU has accomplished in our lives. I try to always remember to say that Dave Ramsey's program works because it is based on God's Word, that God is the reason why it works, and that the only reason it has helped us so much is because we have prayerfully turned our finances over to the Lord.

Making this plan work for you isn't about budgeting and saving money and following steps—although those are a part of it. What it's really about is recognizing that everything we have comes from God. The more that we, as Christians, recognize that and act on that, the more God blesses.

It's been a fun ride thus far, and it's exciting to think about where God is going to take us next.

Keep pinchin' :-)

The Ultimate Homemaking Bundle - Feather Your Nest This Spring

So, the hubby and I are fairly new to this whole blogging adventure. Originally we set out just to tell our story, keep a journal of our progress, and share what works and doesn't work as we journey to debt-free living.

While we enjoy this whole blogging thing it does take time, and so we ventured into the process of trying to earn a little money from our blog, hence the ads you may see, and the occasional "plug a product" post, in which we'll include a link to a product that we may earn some money on if it gets enough clicks. Honestly we haven't really made any money off of it so far, but since an income is secondary to our original goal we keep pressing on.

Just this week I was given the opportunity to plug an awesome bundle of e-books, which will be on sale until Monday. While this opportunity does offer me a pretty decent commission, I don't share it just because of that. After looking into all you can get from this deal I wanted everyone I know to hear about this amazing opportunity.

Here is a little video which will give you some info about why you need the Ultimate Bundle.

I purchased mine the other night and am so excited about all it has to offer. There are 78 e-books in this package covering topics like faith, kids, financial stewardship, food, heath and wellness, holidays and special events, homemaking, homeschooling, marriage, motherhood, pregnancy and babies, self-care, working from home, and blogging.

Not only are these fantastic books, but the authors seem like great people. By purchasing this bundle you are actually supporting missionaries, stay-at-home moms, and many working moms too! Here is a picture of some of the books included:

Epic, right?

And there's also about $200 in bonuses!

These books sold individually would come to a grand total of $698.

So, why am I sharing this with you? Because if you want to get your hands on all of these great resources and not pay $698, then all you need to do is purchase it between now and Monday night at midnight and you can get all of this and more for only $29.97 for the PDF files and $39.97 for Kindle versions. If this is something you think you would like to give to a friend they also have a special offer of buy two get the third free!

All you have to do is click on the picture below! 

I hope you enjoy this bundle as much as I am. Now I'm off to figure out how to make some "ice cream with nourishing ingredients" and then maybe read the Frugal Secrets of Real Foodies. If you have any questions about the bundle feel free to leave a comment and I will get back to you as soon as I can.

Keep pinchin' :-)

The One Lesson I Couldn't Learn from The Berenstain Bears

When I was a kid my favorite book series was The Berenstain Bears. (Can I get a high five from my '80's brothers?!) The Berenstain Bears taught us everything, didn't they—how to have good manners, how to deal with peer-pressure, how to tell time.

One of my favorites was “The Berenstain Bears Get the Gimmies.” In that one, Brother Bear and Sister Bear developed quite the anger-management issues whenever Mama Bear and Popa Bear said they couldn’t have something. The book dealt with the topics of respect, consumerism, and greed. However, as many times as my mother read that book to me, I still grew up with undeniable love of… well, stuff. I’m not proud of it, but it’s true. Sign me up for the support group right now.

The Berenstain Bears taught me all about plenty of other things, but that one lesson on “stuff” just didn’t stick.

I never realized how much of a problem this would be until I got married. My wife, Danielle, God bless her little frugal heart, didn’t quite know what to do with such an over-spender. Three months into our marriage and our diametrically opposing views on money management was the one thing that was driving us apart.

We took Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University in the fall of 2012 and it helped pull us out of our tailspin. It gave us a unified vision for our finances as well as a common language for communicating about money in a way we both could understand. But even after taking FPU, Dani and I still struggled, and a lot of that had to do with my love of buying things.

Impulse spending should be considered it’s own addiction, shouldn’t it? They should make a public service announcement featuring a man standing at a checkout line waiting to cash out.

NARRATOR: This is your brain.

The man spots a pair of night vision goggles on clearance just an arm’s-length away. His eyes go wide as saucers. The urge to splurge is building within him. He can't help himself. He shoves past an old lady to grab the goggles and whips out the credit card.

NARRATOR: This is your brain on “the gimmies.”

It's not such a problem when you're a single person, unless you're a single person who plans on getting married some day. Then it becomes a whole new ball game. Then you've got to remind yourself that there's another person who is going to be impacted by your purchasing decisions. That person may have a deep need to feel financially secure, and when you splurge all your money away it shakes them up emotionally. At some point you have to ask yourself how much you care about the way you make them feel.

For me, getting free of wanting more began by recognizing three things:

1. Recognize that I don't need everything right now. Even the things I really love—in my case, movies. A little patience never hurt anybody (another lesson I learned from those lovable anthropomorphic bears). Nowadays I more carefully consider what movies I want to buy, and this has led me to being more careful in general of the purchases I make.


2. Recognize that saving works. When we first started FPU I was skeptical. It took about three months of following Dave's plan, of budgeting with his principles in mind, for me to see that where this plan was taking us was actually working. After about six months we had paid off my car six months early. We had paid off my motorcycle a whole year early. All that's left now is our mortgage, and we've been attacking that like a couple of crazy people.


3. Recognize that my spouse is more important to me than stuff. Now, she'll probably tell you, and I'll freely admit, that I still have my moments. The 2013 Ford Mustang convertible that we rented for our honeymoon road trip was a beauty that I was embarrassingly reluctant to let go of. To this day there is hardly a Mustang I see that doesn't cause that little impulse spender in my brain to get excited. But as fun as it is to dream about owning things like that, I occasionally have to remind myself of the bigger picture here and the financial plan that my wife and I have set before us.

Truth be told, I still want more stuff, but it's becoming a different kind of stuff that I want. I want more for my wife, our children (which are merely intentions at the moment), more of a future that doesn't involve paying off debt until I'm 90. I want more freedom, more joy, more peace from consumerism.

And maybe some day I'll be able to look back on "The Berenstain Bears Get the Gimmies" and say, "Ah-ha! I finally learned that lesson, too!"

Keep pinchin' :-)

Man Speech: Giving Your Wife the Royal Spa Treatment

Treating your woman like the princess she is doesn't have to cost a lot of money, so give her an at-home pedicure to help make her feel special and appreciated. Think of it like staining and sealing a hardwood floor.

A COUPLE DISCLAIMERS

1. Some women really don't like having their feet touched, so this could be a major turn-off for your woman. If that's the case, a word of caution: don't go there. Her floor doesn't need to be waxed. 


2. Don't think you can't do it. Really, you've got hands, you know how to rub your muscles when they get sore, you know where your feet hurt when you've been standing on them all day. Giving your wife a pedicure is no different. And when it comes to painting her toenails, honestly, if you've ever held a paint brush you can hold nail polish. Just think of her toes as very tiny boards.

THE PROCEDURE

Begin by soaking her feet in some warm water. Use some bubble bath soap, something with a relaxing scent like vanilla or lavender. Let her feet soak for about 10 minutes.

Next dry her feet and apply some lotion. This is like wax for your finished cabinets. You really want to spend some time working the wax into the wood, the rough spots, the dry spots. You want the wood to feel silky smooth to the touch. So take this time to do some massaging of your wife's feet.

Next clip her toenails. Women's toenails are not slabs of granite like those of most men. They are delicate, so you don't need a big honkin' pair of clippers. Those little dainty clippers that she probably has in her makeup kit will work just fine. It's likely that you won't have to use nail clippers at all. You could probably get away with using a nail file.

A NOTE ABOUT NAIL FILES
A nail file is not sandpaper. And your wife's toes are not pine. Don't rub away at them with a nail file like your doing finishing work on a new baseboard. Use the nail file in single-stroke, left-to-right motions. No back and fourth sanding because that does damage to the nail.

Next take a cotton ball with some nail polish remover and clean the surface of the toenails. This isn't just to remove any old nail polish, but also any oils, dirt, and lotion that may be on the nail.

Next, paint the little piggies a color of your wife's choice. It will probably take two coats, so do one set of toes and let them dry as you paint the others. Usually about 10 or 15 minutes between coats is good. When painting, be quick about it. Nail polish is a pain in the asphalt. It dries and clumps quickly. It should take you no more than 10 seconds to cover each toenail.

Finally, you can cover each toenail with a nail hardener. This is like polyurethane finish for your wife's feet and will protect the nail polish and make it last longer.

And lastly, try to enjoy yourself. Giving your wife a pedicure isn't the manliest of manly things to do, but if you do it right it will be something she'll love. Put on some music, help her relax, give her some hot tea or cocoa, conversation, and laughter.

Keep pinchin' :-)

Dani's Birthday Week: Birthday Celebrating on a Budget

Before we were even married Dani and I had discussed the idea of making the "birthday week" idea a tradition in our family. A birthday week can be many things, but essentially it is designed to honor the birthday girl or boy all week long.

Guys, I know, it can be tough enough trying to remember to honor your wife on just ONE day a year, not to mention seven in a row! But it's worth it, trust me, and she'll deeply appreciate your efforts.

DISCLAIMER
If your wife doesn't really enjoy her birthday, or if your family has decided not to make a big deal of them, a birthday week celebration might not go over well. Some women are extremely sensitive about their age, and if they can't stand to have their birthdays celebrated even for one day, a whole week is going to be a nightmare.

Celebrating your wife on her birthday doesn't have to be an expensive or time-consuming task, especially if you're on the road a lot or are trying to stay within a tight budget. Here are some suggestions for making your wife's birthday week a celebration of her.

1. Create a top 10 list of things you love about her and text them to her throughout the day. (If you're really ambitious, you could make a top 10 list to send to her every day!) This is a good idea if you travel a lot or can't be with your wife on certain days of the week.


2. Cards never fail to express at least some heartfelt sentiment, especially for guys who aren't good with words, but who know how they feel once they actually have the words. Stick a card in your wife's purse. Mail her one at work. Hide one in her favorite book, or some place that she'll find it at some point during the day.


3. One word: chocolate. Few women don't love chocolate. Buy a whole box of chocolates and leave them around the house. Set them on top of little notes that express your hopes and wishes for her in the coming year.


4. Make her dinner. If you're fortunate enough to be home when she isn't, surprise her with some grilled chicken, mashed potatoes, and veggies. (Seriously dudes, that is a meal that I have never ONCE screwed up, which must mean it's super easy to make!) Here's a terrific Red Wine Vineager Marinade for chicken. Let the chicken soak in this for four hours or so and you can't go wrong! (NOTE: I didn't include the dry mustard because I hate mustard, and we didn't have any lemon juice, but it still tasted fantastic!)


5. Write her a love letter that lets her know how glad you are to have her in your life. I know, I know, you told her "I love you" on your wedding day, but, generally speaking, women need emotional reassurance. She knows that you loved her on your wedding day, but inside she's wanting to know if you STILL love her. Make it a point to tell her every day on her birthday week.

The point is, a birthday shouldn't be a recognition of age, but a celebration of her life. Use the time to express to her how grateful you are for her, that she married you, that she's a wonderful wife and mother, and pretty much the coolest chick of all time.

Keep pinchin' :-)

Creating A Budget Is Like A Bad Horror Comedy Movie

Dani and I decided to go through Financial Peace University just a few months after being married when we both realized that the different ways in which we handled money was going to get us into trouble. Dani is a saver. I'm a spender. Neither of us knew how to properly handle money and we were driving each other nuts.

I foresaw a major conflict in our future, and we both knew that we needed to get on the same page when it came to our budget. I heard about Financial Peace University through our church and strongly suggested that we take the class. Dani was glad to do it.

But the class alone was not our saving grace. Our first few months of budgeting were like a bad horror comedy. We'd argue. We'd cry. We'd get angry and frustrated at the piece of paper in front of us that told us how much money we didn't have. It was a turbulent time.

After about sixteen months of following the principles in FPU, we've finally got a system down. Budget meetings are quick and neither of waste any time crying or arguing because we know where our money is going, we can see the plan working, and we know it will continue to work as long as we keep employing it.

Now that we're leading an FPU class, we've realized that we're not the only ones who have a hard time jump-starting a budget. Setting aside money for upcoming payments is a hard task to do when you've got a payment due in one week. But both Dani and I can say from experience that it gets easier. Those first few months of budgeting are tough. We stumbled. We made mistakes. We had to erase and start over. But once our money started building up in our accounts, once we had three or four months of practice, things started to come together.

As put off as I was at first by the idea of budgeting, it was worth going through those few months of agony to develop a unified vision for our finances. The tension lifted. The crying stopped. Sure we have our moments every now and then, but things have gotten a lot better.

If you're not working on a budget with your spouse, start. Don't give up after a few months of turmoil. Keep at it. It WILL get easier. And you'll be happier for it.

Keep pinchin' :-)

Advice To "Free Spirits" Who Have to Live with A "Nerd"

Yup, I'm the "Free Spirit." Dani's the "Nerd." Sure, she can be free-spirited, and I can be nerdy, but when it comes to money she's the one who wants to budget and plan and save and invest and IRA and frugality and whatnot and whatever, whereas I am, well... I lost interest in this whole sentence a long time ago.

But here's the thing, my fellow Free Spirits, I think you've got the harder job because, let's face it, you're the one with spending habits that need to be curbed. You're the one who needs to exercise a little discipline during the regular budget meetings. Granted there are many things that Nerds need to learn as well—like how not to keep such a tight grip on the financial reins, and that, yes, sometimes you actually have to spend money to have fun, and that that's OK.

But here's the thing, a Free Spirit has to realize that it is possible to have fun on the cheap too! You just got to get your head in the game. Here are a few things Free Spirits should be doing... scratch that... need to be doing in order to make a partnership with a Nerd work in the best way possible. Otherwise you guys will never get ahead financially.

#1 Learn to have fun on the cheap
Sure you can spend $50 and have a great dinner date with a movie and bowling, but there are other things you can do to have fun that don't cost as much. You just have to keep your eyes open. Check around for deals on free or discounted opportunities. Surprise your spouse with something fun at home—maybe even get a little romantic. I think you'll find that planning the surprise is half the fun. Just stay within the budget so as to ensure you'll meet your money goals.

#2 Rise above the "Whatever" response
The person who just says "Whatever" to budgetary matters is not taking control of their money. Furthermore, they're just frustrating their Nerd. Don't be so dismissive. You've got to communicate with your Nerd to help them understand what's important to you. You're both going to have to do a little compromising, but that starts with communication.

#3 Stick to the plan... mostly
A Nerd is going to look at your budget as a financial Bible. Once the two of you get a working budget on paper, in the Nerd's mind it might as well be carved onto stone tablets. So what does the Nerd feel when you then go out and blow the budget all willy-nilly style? Disrespected. Granted your Nerd has to realize that the budget is not set in stone, and that it should be flexible to some degree, but you've also got to understand what it means to them. If there are changes you want to make to the budget you've got to communicate them first.

Living with a Nerd isn't easy, Free Spirits, but look at it this way: in a year's time you're going to have more money and be better off financially WITH your Nerd than you would be without them. So appreciate them. Love them. Work with them. They need you just as much as you need them because, let's face it, unless they're living with a Free Spirit, Nerds don't get to do much living at all!

I love you, honey!

Keep pinchin' :-)

My Greatest Partner In This Crazy Journey To Debt-Free Living

Sorry, but penny pinching sometimes really sucks. It can wear you down at times and be really discouraging, which is why it's so key to have a partner who is with you in the battle.

I'll admit, I wasn't on board with this whole "Dave Ramsey plan" thing at first. It took about three months for me to see that, A) the plan works, B) I can trust Dave Ramsey, and C) this is a really smart way to live because even though it hurts now in a few years we're going to be leagues ahead of other people our age.

Up until that realization, however, I'm sure my attitude toward savings was really hard on my wife. In fact, I know it was. But after much communication with each other, and much prayer to our Heavenly Father, our vision for our financial goals was both unified and solidified. Now that we're together on this, it makes it all much, much easier—when she's feeling the pressure of massive oil bills or expenses, I'm there to remind her that, in the long, this is just a minor setback and we'll be OK. When I'm feeling down because we don't have a lot of money to eat out or go to the movies, my wife is there to spoil me in other ways and remind me that this isn't forever.

Having conversations with your spouse about money—be it savings, spending, general management or whatnot—is never easy, but it is so, so, so essential to your success in developing and maintaining a good budget.

We're interested in hearing what sorts of difficulties other couples have faced in this area. When you get feeling down about your financial circumstances, do you give up and give in, or does your spouse come alongside you to help you pick your chin up? Maybe your spouse needs a "chin up" moment right now. What could you do to lift their spirits?

Keep pinchin' :-)

A Valentine's Day Suprise

Two years ago the hubby and I were engaged when we celebrated our first Valentine's Day together. Not only was it a special day because we were engaged, it was also the very first Valentine's Day that I had ever celebrated in a relationship with a guy. So Jake knew it had to be good.

He told me he was going to plan everything, and talked it up for weeks. He would drop lines like, "I know the chef at the exclusive restaurant we are going to, and he's really great." All along I kept telling friends that I wished we could just make dinner and stay in because we were getting ready to have a wedding and were considering buying a house, but I was prepared to accept whatever special thing he did for me.

When the night arrived, I got all dressed up and drove over to his grandparents house where he was living at the time. I walked in, talked to his Grandma who was making Chicken Parmesan, and then Jake came downstairs and we set off. We hopped in the car and then prepared to drive to this "exclusive restaurant," so exclusive, he said, that you needed to know the owners to get in. I was a little bummed that we would be spending all this money on a dinner for one night, but I wasn't about to say anything because I didn't want to spoil it for us.

About halfway down the driveway, Jake stopped the car right next to his grandparent's front porch. He pretended like he had forgotten something and jumped out to go back inside. Instead he walked around to my side of the car and opened the door. "I didn't know they had valet service here," he said in a surprised tone.

He took me inside and upstairs to the apartment area where he was living, a space he had transformed into a dining area for two. "See," he said, "I told you: a restaurant so exclusive you need to know the owners to get in."

The room was filled with candles, a table for two, a dozen roses, and romantic music. His grandmother wasn't the one making Chicken Parmesan. It was him. He had cooked for all four of us, and though his grandparents enjoyed their Valentine's Day meal downstairs, Jake and I enjoyed our "exclusive restaurant" treatment upstairs.

After dinner we enjoyed attempting to learn how to dance for our wedding to an instructional DVD that Jake had bought, and then we spent lots of time cuddling. It was the perfect first Valentine's Day. I wouldn't have had it any other way.

Happy Valentine's Day from the Penny Pinchers!

Keep pinchin' :-)

It's A Man's Responsibility

There's a Bible verse that gives men a charge to provide financially for their families. Oddly enough, even though I grew up in a Christian lifestyle, I never once heard that verse that I can recall. In fact, it wasn't until I was in my thirties that I came across this verse, and when I did it hit me like a ton of bricks.

"But if any provide not for his own, especially for those of his own household, he hath denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." —I Timothy 5:8

How could I have missed this? Are parents just not teaching this? Are pastors not preaching about it? Or is my generation so wrapped-up in its petty self-absorption that verses like this just go in one ear and out the other? I mean, "worse than an unbeliever"? That's what God calls men who don't provide for their families, and that's a pretty grievous statement.

I've come to believe that it is incumbent upon me as the man to lead in the area of our finances. I can't just step back and leave it up to my wife, but nor do I want to lock her out of the process either. I, and all men, need to step up, take the reins, and lead the way.

The Bible says that men are to model Jesus Christ to their wives, that they are to "love her as Christ loved the church" (Ephesians 5:25). Christ has promised to provide everything that we (the church) need, and so, as men modeling the behavior of Christ, it is our duty to do our best to meet the needs of our wives.

Marriage is a financial venture and the husband has a responsibility to finance/support/provide for his family. As a husband, I need to realize that when it comes to money my earnings are not my own. They belong to my wife and my (someday) children.

Keep pinchin' :-)

Letting Go of Impressing People

As much as I hate to admit it, I have occasionally fallen prey to that inner desire to impress people. It's almost an innate human impulse, isn't it? We want to wear the right clothes, or get the right hair cut, or have the latest gadget.

After I asked Dani to marry me we decided that she would be in charge of the wedding and I would be in charge of the honeymoon. Not that I wouldn't have any input in the ceremony, or that she wouldn't get a say in where we spent our first week as a married couple, but when it came to the honeymoon I was pretty much in charge of all the details.

And, I got to admit, I had a lot of fun planning it! She knew where we were going, but there were a lot of details and surprises that I got to plan along the way—the hotels we stayed at, some of the activities we did. One of the biggest surprises I had planned was the 2013 Ford Mustang convertible that I rented to be our main source of transportation during our 10 day road trip to Kelly's Island, Ohio. Now, as any man reading this will understand, there are many wonderful slices of Heaven that can be experienced on one's honeymoon, but driving that Mustang was near Nirvana all in itself.

I remember when my Best Man and I picked it up at the airport and drove it around town the day before the wedding—the shiny paint, the top down, the purr of the engine, the sheer power under the hood. We could outpace any car on any road in about three seconds. But one of the things that made driving that car such a blast was all the heads it turned. When we stopped at a gas station, people were checking it out. When we passed people on the interstate, other drivers took notice.

And it felt good. We've all had that feeling of people watching us, knowing in the back of our minds that some are looking on in total envy, right? That feeling puffs us up a little, doesn't it? It makes us feel good. It's all stupid, when you think about it. I mean, we spend thousands upon thousands of dollars to buy fancy clothes, beautiful cars, and electronic gadgets that we don't really need to impress complete strangers! It's all lunacy.

It's all pride.

Making the decision to live on a tight budget means letting go of a lot of things. It means letting go of that inner desire to have people admire you for your house or your shoes or your cable TV package. It means letting go of that need to buy the next iPad the moment it hits the market. It means letting go of some pride. And if you can't let go of trying to impress people then you're going to hamper your ability to build wealth.

Sure, I feel a little silly sometimes pulling out my $40 Walmart phone in a room full of iPads and smart phones, but you know what I realized: the great majority of those people with the expensive suits and the pricey gadgets are in debt up to their eyeballs! They're struggling every week to make ends meet. Their blood pressure is up. Their hours of REM sleep are down.

Personally, I don't want to lose my REM sleep. I LOVE sleep too much. I can do without the other stuff.

Has letting go of this kind of pride been difficult for you?

Keep pinchin' :-)

Winter Date Night

As promised here is an idea for a free winter date night.

Last Saturday Jake and I finally had a day that we didn't have to be anywhere, so it meant it was the perfect day for a date. First we went to the Rocks Estate to walk on their trails—or get lost—and enjoy a beautiful sunny winter day.

When we got home we had some hot cocoa to warm up and then took naps. Ahhh :-) Then it was time for a "Living Room Campout." (In case you're just tuning in, this was part of my birthday present to Jake back in October. I gave him a year of "free dates." Click here to read all about it.)

I prepared potatoes, kielbasa, and butter with some Tony's seasoning in tinfoil baked in the oven on 350 for about an hour. Normally you'd bury the foil-wrapped dinners in your campfire, but when it's minus 10 degrees outside the oven works just as well.

Then I created our  campsite. We don't have a tent so I made one out of a sheet and hung it up over Christmas lights I had strung up. I had Jake bring in a couple of camping chairs and grabbed a side table to eat dinner on. We ate our tinfoil dinners next to our wood stove (campfire) and then played cards in our tent.

To finish it off we made S'mores in our woodstove, and they were delicious!

During it all we just sort of laughed at ourselves and wondered what someone would think if they showed up at our house and saw the camp site. "No," we would tell them, "children do not live here. Just us. Yes, we're adults. Thank you." Even though some people might think it's juvenile we had a ton of fun!

Have you been on any free, fun date nights lately? Leave us a comment to let us know what you've done!

Keep pinchin' :-)

New Year's Resolutions - Three Weeks In

We are about three weeks into the New Year. Do you even remember what you're resolutions were? Usually by this time most people forget they ever made a resolution, have given up on it, or haven't even started it yet. Maybe 2015??

While the word "Faithfulness" isn't constantly on my mind, overall it appears to be ingrained in me already, or at least so far. So here is my three weeks update.


Faithfulness in our finances. I've continued to use cash for my groceries based on a monthly allowance. This has been very helpful because I know exactly what I have to spend, and if I go over my budget for one week I just have to cut down the following week. Last week we took another look at our overall budget to see if we could squeeze out any more pennies to put toward our mortgage, and we came up with over $100! We were able to do this because after more than a year of following this budget we now have a better idea of what some of our expenditures actually are.

Faithfulness in living a healthy lifestyle. I continue to try to work out four or five days a week, and although it's not always for as long as I would like, it is a start. This past week I had a hard time finding some motivation, but after reaching out to a friend we motivated each other to go for a walk that lasted about 45 minutes. Jake and I have been eating a lot more fruits and veggies—salads probably four days a week, at least, which is a huge improvement for us. I also made some yummy banana muffins, substituting the butter for applesauce and eggs for flaxseed. Even though they're technically "healthy muffins," I tried them out on some of the kids I babysit, as well as the husband, and I'm pleased to announce the muffins are "kid tested and husband approved!" :-)

Faithfulness in my spiritual life. I have continued to do my personal quiet time daily, and although it's not at the same time (sometimes 10am sometimes 11pm) it's happening! I continue to read Beth Moore's "Believing Day by Day," and I find that encouraging! This week I plan to listen to my home church's Sunday sermon, which I missed because I was working in the nursery.

Faithfulness in being good stewards of the homestead God has blessed us with. Once again not a whole lot happening in this realm, probably due to the time of year. I did make a Valentine's Day garland, which I plan to share later this week, and I made my Thankful Jar. Last week I ordered two Apple trees, two Blueberry Bushes, and 100 Strawberry plants, which I'm super excited about! We already have Raspberries, Grapes and one Apple tree on the property, which I plan to work on taking care of this Spring.

Faithfulness in being the wife my husband needs me to be. Over the past couple of weeks I've been able to continue to keep our home picked up, make homemade meals, and keep up with the laundry. I am thankful for this because I know I can think better in a clean and organized house, but I also know my husband appreciates it. Our Sunday School class has been going through Love & Respect by Emerson Eggerichs. It's hard to remember to put the principles he talks about into practice outside of the class, but today when my husband tried to help me make lunch in a manner completely wrong from my point of view, I was able to remind myself, "Not wrong, just different." Years from now when we have kids, I'll probably beg him for the help and not care what route he takes to get there.


So, where are you at with any resolutions you made? Do you remember your word for the year? If you find that you have already "failed" don't give up and think, "Maybe 2015 is the year," but instead jump back in and recommit to your goals!


Keep pinchin' :-)