How to Move to Maui: The Horrors of the DMV

The DMV sucks. Even in Maui. Like any government-run organization it just can't do things quickly, easily, efficiently, or without the hair-pulling frustration of the latest nonsensical Common Core Standards.

Seriously, what's the greatest innovation at the DMV in the last 40 years? A bench? A “Take a number” system? Great, the DMV has finally narrowed the gap with my local super market.

All kidding aside (I know I started the above paragraph with "Seriously..." but, seriously, I'm just kidding around.)

Anyway, when you move to Hawaii there are a few interesting things to keep in mind when it comes to transferring your driver's license, registering your car, and buying insurance.

To help you avoid the clunky process we went through, here are the steps of how things should be done.

STEP 1: What NOT to do

If you sell your vehicle with the intention of buying a new one in Hawaii, don't be so quick to cancel your insurance. When you apply for new auto insurance there are discounts offered for being "previously insured." Have your old policy number handy when you're talking to an insurance rep.

STEP 2: Earning your driver's license... again

Fortunately the DMV in Maui isn't as scary as it is everywhere else in the universe. However it is a little strange. To get your Hawaii driver's license you'll need to take a 25 question multiple-choice written test, an eye test, get your photo taken, and your thumb and index finger printed. You'll need two forms of ID (i.e. old driver's license, passport, birth certificate) and two pieces of mail confirming your place of residence in Hawaii. It's cost you about $15.

STEP 3: Passing the safety inspection

All cars in Hawaii two years old or older have to undergo a pretty strict environmental safety inspection. You will need to have proof of insurance, the vehicle's current registration (even if it's in the previous owners' name), and the title with you when you go to have this done.

STEP 4: Back to the DMV. Oh yay.

Actually, like I just said in Step 2, they've got that "Aloha spirit" at the Hawaii DMV, so it's not that bad, even if the wait time is three hours. To register your car you will need a) proof of insurance, b) safety inspection certificate, c) title, d) screwdriver for applying/removing new/old plates, e) patience, f) approximately $16.

All of these steps in this order work as a kind of combination lock. Once completed you will be welcomed into the bosom of mother Maui with a flowery lei and a luau. Ok, not really, but it'll feel like this...

The Data Shows: Daylight Saving Time Is Asinine

It's always been my personal belief that Daylight Saving Time is stupid. Turns out I was right. Turns out that aside from increasing risk of heart attack, providing adverse mental health in some people, screwing with national and international communication, mixing up global transportation patterns, frustrating farmers, complicating business transactions, and ruining my life twice a year, the only positive thing about DST is that at one point in history it didn't exist.

When The Dumb Began

DST has been used for about 100 years, although its genesis is credited to Benjamin Franklin, according to www.timeanddate.com. Franklin proposed the idea—although a little jokingly—to economize the use of candles by getting people out of bed earlier in the morning, making use of the natural morning light. The idea was never implemented in his lifetime because people didn't take it seriously.

It wasn't until 1895 that a New Zealand entomologist (bug-collector) by the name of George Vernon realized that his love affair with bugs could last longer every day if he had more daylight hours to play with. He proposed a two hour time shift instead of the one that we grudgingly endure today.

This idea was picked up by another genius, William Willett, whose motivation for lobbying DST was his growing aggravation that dusk kept cutting short his after hours game of golf.

That's right, folks. Golf.

It wasn't until World War I that this idea began to catch on. While Europe did its best to commit genocide the west thought DST would be a great way to save energy during war time. DST wasn't observed again until WWII and was officially adopted in the US in 1967.

The "Energy Conservation" Myth

Energy conservation has long been touted as one of the many reasons for DST to remain in effect (though just how much energy it saves has never been proven), but even if DST did, at one point, help save energy, energy consumption has changed greatly since the days of coke stoves and steam engines. In a 24/7 global economy DST no longer serves its purpose.

Most modern studies of DST show little to no benefit and/or reason for it in regards to energy conservation.

What The Facts Show 

• The National Research Council of Canada issued a report in 2008 that indicated fuel consumption actually rises during DST because "…with an extra hour of daylight in the evening people tend to go out more."


• One of the major backers of legislation to keep DST in effect is 7-Eleven, ostensibly to allow the good children of America more time to go out and buy a torso-sized Slurpie. Obesity, folks. DST contributes to obesity.


• When Indiana made DST mandatory in 2006, Dr. Matthew Kotchen examined several million monthly meter readings from a three year period. He found that having the entire state switch to DST each year, rather than remain on Standard Time, cost Indiana households an additional $8.6 million in electricity bills.


• Arizona does not recognize DST. They tried it for one year in the 1960s, but there was so much negative reaction that they never tried it again. Some also said that without DST, the state still managed to save heating and cooling energy in the summer (northern hemisphere) months.


• Kazakhstan abolished DST in 2005, citing negative health effects on more than 51 percent of its population.


• Farmers, who must wake with the sun no matter what time the clock says, are greatly inconvenienced by having to change their schedules to market their crops to businesses observing DST and therefore generally oppose it. (www.standardtime.com)


• In 2008 The Wall Street Journal declared: "Daylight Saving Wastes Energy," and cited Dr. Kotchen's report as well as others.

The "Circadian Rhythm"

Health therapist Shawn Kirby says the negative health repercussions of DST can last for weeks in some people. He says the human body's physical and mental behavioral swings caused by day/night changes and sleep patterns—known as the Circadian Rhythm—is essential to a person's mental health and balanced stress levels. This natural rhythm within our own bodies connects us to the world while DST routinely interrupts it.

"Suicides in men and heart attacks were both found to significantly spike with the 'Spring Forward,'" Kirby says.

In Closing

Even apart from the data, DST shows no reasons to exist. I mean, "time," as we know it, is an artificial construction, measured only by agreed-upon convention. The only purpose of measuring time with a clock is to coordinate action. The actual numbers on a clock don't matter; the clock says whatever we, as a society, agree that it should say. On a global scale observing DST completely destroys the original purpose for which time and the clock were created—some countries observe it; some don't. As a result world time becomes confusing. While observing DST, time zones get screwed up; all clocks and electronic devices must be changed, or programmed to run functions that cause the change. This massive, mostly-computerized switchover inconveniences millions of businesses and individuals every year. DST interrupts what is, otherwise, a smoothly operating convention of coordinating global actions.

Let's face it, DST is an outdated, onerous, ridiculous, asinine "illusion." It is unneeded, unwanted, and pointless. If you really need an extra hour of daylight to play gulf or hunt bugs, GET UP AN HOUR EARLIER!

Stop the madness of pointlessly changing time twice a year. End Daylight Saving Time! Sign the petition at www.standardtime.com.

Society's War On Boys Has Gone Too Far

Stock photo by S Braswell
www.freeimages.com

Welcome to Penny Pinching Prose where we talk about finances, marriage, rap music... and occasionally devolve into infantile ranting about pet peeves and social awkwardness.

Such is today.

An issue that is near and dear to my heart is how boys—and even men in general—are treated in this culture. Now, Dani and I don't have kids... yet... but that doesn't mean we know nothing about raising children. We have parents. We have close friends who are parents. So we at least have an idea of what's involved. And when I see today's boys being told they can't play cowboys and indians because they may offend several different social groups, my heart hurts for them.

Moreover, I fear for the boys I'm (hopefully) going to have some day and the social repercussions they're going to face because, I'll be honest with ya, we're going to play cowboys and indians TO DEATH! And we're going to use toy guns and wrestle in the living room and set off rockets and learn about bows and knives and practical, every-day guy stuff, and, you know what?—damn a society that tries to tell me not to treat my boys like boys.

I take major issue with the rampant "anti-bullying" message currently plaguing our public school system. Don't get me wrong, there is a line that shouldn't be crossed when kids are being mean to each other and that line should be enforced by adults, bullies should be punished, and kids should be taught to stand up for themselves, but, NEWS FLASH: kids are kids! They're going to call each other "Poopyhead" and "Four eyes" and "Ugly fuggly dirt eater." Such is the realm of Kiddom. You can't coddle every child whose feathers get ruffled because another kid played harder than he did during recess.

The reason I take such issue with this strict anti-bullying stuff is because the great majority of it is aimed at boys who are, a lot of time, doing nothing but being boys. Boys run. They push. They shove. They fight. They like guns. They like adventure and being aggressive, but sometimes they just don't know how to express that stuff and so feelings get hurt. In the last 10-to-20 years America has seen a virtual war on masculinity that aims at making men better girlfriends to their wives while taking away their God-given nature to fight and protect and be strong and courageous and adventuresome.

American Enterprise Institute scholar Christina Hoff Sommers has recently released a new book called The War Against Boys, in which she talks about this very issue. She says it's past time to make elementary schools more friendly to boys, and she has four ways to do that: turn boys into readers; inspire their imagination; get rid of zero-tolerance policies; and bring recess back. “Being a normal boy is a serious liability in today’s classroom,” Sommers said in a short video lesson for Prager University, a conservative video series. ”Increasingly, our schools have little patience for what only a few decades ago would have been described as boyishness.” To no one's great surprise, Sommers is being met with tons of politically correct resistance.

I was recently hired to videotape an elementary school play when a couple of 7-to-10 year old boys noticed the pocket knife in my camera bag, which I keep with me because it has some handy tools I use with my camera gear. The boys were so unaccustomed to seeing a knife on their school campus that they took a lot of interest in it, but as soon as the principal noticed what they were so gaga about she confiscated it.

"You're not allowed to bring that onto school property," she told me.

She locked the pocket knife in the school cafeteria as though it had done something wrong, until the play was over and I had to leave, at which point she kindly returned it to me.

Our schools have become too sanitary, too feelings-centered, and so competition-free that the instinctual needs of boys are not being met. It drives me nuts, and it's one of the main reasons why my boys won't be going to public school. They'll be homeschooled where they'll learn tons of useful stuff, where they'll be taught respect and kindness, but not browbeaten when their youthful energy results in "boyishness."

And when the zombie apocalypse finally comes it will be my boys who lead the resistance for the simple reason that they'll be the only ones who know how.

Get Educated About Money and Change Your Life

One of the reasons Dani and I are such proponents for Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University is the Depression-era lows of evangelical giving.

Let's face it, our government has really messed things up, and they're not getting any better. Very few people in political office today know how to properly manage money. The only language they speak is debt. Unfortunately this has many Americans feeling very tight-fisted with their money. The recession, rising fuel and food costs, and a political system that appears to be falling apart one seam at a time, has many Christians hesitant to give to their churches.

News reports over the last few years about the percentage of Christians tithing have been scary.

"Giving has declined for four consecutive years," according Empty Tomb, a Christian research group.
"The only other period of prolonged decline in giving per member was from 1928 through 1934, almost entirely during the Great Depression."(Click here to read the report.)

The percentage of evangelicals tithing to their local churches is 2.3%.

Whoa.

I believe there are two reasons for this.

1. Fear. As mentioned above, many Americans are losing faith in Uncle Sam's ability to take care of them, so they're clinging to their money more than ever before. I don't blame them.


2. Many Christians—not all, but many—just don't know how to handle money. Our American culture breeds a mind-set that is all about buying more, having more, getting the next best newest shiniest thing on the market, and doing so with credit cards, not hard-earned cash. Americans have become financially stupid. We just don't know how to handle money.

Fortunately it's not all bleak and grim. A 2013 report by the Evangelical Council for Financial Accountability (ECFA) reveals that charitable giving to more than 1,600 of its accredited organizations has actually increased in the last year—by 6.4 percent, in fact. It's not much, but, hey, it's something.

All of this should bring into sharp focus the need for us to become better stewards of our money. If we get better, and raise children who are better, the next generation of parents, teachers, and political officials will be better. But it has to start now. It has to start with us. You can't wait for a stimulus handout from Uncle Sam. You can't expect to win the lottery. Changing your finances is about changing your behavior, and that starts with getting the right education, be it through Dave Ramsey's course or Crown Financial or any of the other programs that are out there.

The choice starts with you.

Keep pinchin' :-)