Why You're Still In Debt

I call it a 3 a.m. moment. It's the instant you realize that you need to do something about your debt. Maybe it doesn't happen at 3 a.m. necessarily. Maybe it happens when you look at the next credit card bill, or when you go to write that massive check for an unexpected car repair. It's like waking up in the middle of the night with the horrible realization that you forgot to do that very important thing.

So you decide to make a change. You even get a little angry about it. That "3 a.m." moment made you determined to get out of debt for good!

Buuuuut it didn't take. After a while, your conviction waned and now, sadly, you're still in debt.

What keeps people from getting out of debt? Why would someone want to stay in chains instead of living in freedom? Sadly, there are all sorts of reasons people choose MasterCard over being free from debt, but here are a few:

1. They want to keep up appearances.

This is what realty TV has got us trained to do—keeping up with the Joneses, or, to many, the Kardashians. But most people who appear to have it all really have a steep mortgage on that million dollar home, and a lease on that expensive car, and a Visa card that's maxed out. These are some of the most broke people in your neighborhood! Trying to keep up appearances with anyone is nothing but your ego taking a stroll on the uneasy side and it will lead to bankruptcy if you're not careful.

2. They are unwilling to sacrifice.

When Danielle and I got married, I couldn't fathom not going out to eat at least once a week. But it was a sacrifice I eventually made. Now we go out to eat once every few months. If that. And you know what? It's not as dreadful as I imagined it would be. We have since come to sacrifice many other things in order to get ahead—cable TV, high-speed internet, Netflix, vacations. This doesn't mean we have to do without these things forever, but the savings we've accumulated over the last two years is precisely why we are currently debt free! It’s about priorities. Here’s the question: What are you willing to sacrifice?

3. They’re addicted to stuff.

During my time as a UPS driver I had two stops on my route to women who were full-blown shopaholics. It was a rare day that I didn't stop at their houses with multiple packages from amazon.com. A love of stuff isn't that hard to understand, really. I mean, who doesn't like stuff? Heck, I LOVE stuff! And learning not to impulsively purchase everything we want isn't easy, because, for some reason, the more we have, the more confident and powerful we feel. But it's all a fraud! Eventually, stuff just weighs us down.

4. They don’t know how. 

A lot of people get those "3 a.m." moments and want to kick their debt to the curb, but they just don't know how to do it. Our culture, with its mentality of immediate gratification, has trained people to look at their mountain of debt and see it as something too big to bother with. Quick and easy, that's what people want. Hard work? Forget about it! But hard work and discipline is exactly what it takes to get your debt under control. That, and a plan. Thankfully there are plenty of solid, reliable budgeting programs to help you out—be it Crown Financial or Dave Ramsey, for example. You may have to plunk down some cash to get the program or take the course, but it's well worth the investment.

5. They’re lazy.

Some people know what to do. Maybe they know about the debt snowball and they sorta, kinda want to get out of debt. They know how debt can negatively affect their marriage, their stress levels, their relationships, and their future; they know that buying expensive coffees and cable TV packages and newer, more expensive cars and clothes isn't a wise move, but they just aren’t motivated to make a change. And that's... well, embarrassing. Especially if you've got kids. It's now not only your life you're ruining but theirs because they're going to learn their financial habits from you.

Every day, people are making the decision to get out of debt and change their lives. They’re ready to sacrifice and get rid of their fear of change or their addiction to stuff. If you're ready to take that leap, we can't recommend Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University enough. It saved our finances and our marriage.

If a lazy, stuff-lovin' bum like me can make this change, then anyone can!

Keep pinchin' :-)

Taking Vacations With the Baby Steps

Jake and Danielle on vacation in Maui.

If you're like most people, you can only work, eat, sleep, and play through your weekly grind before the itch to "get away" starts making your insides raw.

But how do you take a vacation and have a good time when you're working your way through Dave Ramsey's Baby Steps to financial peace? I mean, the Baby Steps aren't exactly the best place to be when you want to blow $5,000 on a tropical getaway. Well, here's the good news: you're a fool if you sound like this *in a nasally tone* "We can't go on vacation. We need to save our money. Dave Ramsey says so."

Chill, bro. Or sis. Whoever you are. Vacations are not NOT possible. They CAN happen no matter what baby step you're in. But here's the tough news: you're going to have work at it.

Obviously, the decision to take a vacation is dependent on where you're at financially. If you’re on Baby Step 1 or 2, you’re either building a $1,000 emergency fund or paying off your debt with the debt snowball. In other words, your budget is probably tight—especially if you’re paying off debt aggressively, which you should be. In this case, your options might be limited, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a fun, relaxing vacation. For now it might have to be a staycation, or an inexpensive camping trip, but it's not impossible. Get creative!

If you can manage—and budget for—a short weekend getaway, then go for it. Just remember, the beach and the mountains and all the fancy resorts can wait until you’re out of debt. They’ll still be there, and they will be an awesome reward for busting it and getting out of debt. The main thing is that you don't incur MORE debt by going on vacation.

If you're into Baby Step 3, you’re out of debt and starting to save your big emergency fund, which is three to six months of expenses. Now you can take a little bit of a breath. You’re still saving aggressively and putting all that money you were using to pay off debt toward the emergency fund. But you are also in a good situation where you can take a little bit of that and go on a vacation paid for with CASH. No credit cards here. Woot-woot!

It's important to not go too crazy though. Give yourself a budget, and keep yourself within that budget.

By the time you're into Baby steps 4 through 6, you're in an awesome spot! You’re out of debt, and you’ve saved up a large emergency fund. You’ve started the process of investing 15% of your household income retirement and you've begun saving for your kids' college funds. An annual summer vacation shouldn't be a problem. Just put it in the budget and set a little money aside every week. Even if it's just $100, that's $5,200! Pack up the van and take the kids to Disney!

Your income will determine what’s reasonable for you to do when it comes to vacation spending. Higher earners will obviously be able to afford pricier vacations, but the point here is to go somewhere and remain debt free. Say it with me now: No. More. Debt.

When you've made it all the way through the Baby Steps, don't forget to be generous. Take some family or friends with you on some of your vacations. Be an encourager and a motivator to people who haven’t reached this point in their journey yet. Be generous with your money and even more generous in your spirit. Everyone’s journey will be different. Some people are able to go through the Baby Steps quickly, while it takes much longer for others.

Keep that dream vacation in mind and use it to motivate you to work through the Baby Steps. Remember, getting out of debt and learning to live debt free won't take you forever. This is just a phase of life. The good times will come. You just need the dedication and a little patience to get there.

Keep pinchin :-)

Budgeting Myths That Are Probably Ruining Your Life

Belief shapes behavior. If you believe Star Wars is superior to Star Trek you'll probably enjoy finding opportunities to slam Trek fans. If you believe eating chocolate is good for you, you'll probably get fat. If you believe that budgeting isn't necessary you'll probably go broke.

And if you are struggling with managing your money it might be because you're believing lies about the budgeting process. If you follow our blog at all you know that Dani and I budget regularly—if for no other reason than the fact that it works!—and we want you to be a budget-head too. It can be really hard to get started, but not because budgeting is actually hard—trust me, it's not—but because many people buy into some of the myths that turn the budget into a bad guy.

If you're smart—and we believe you are—then you can learn to let go of these myths, excuses, and misunderstandings, and start building the wealth you've always wanted to have.

Budgeting Myth #1

I don't have time to budget.

Sure, budgeting takes some time, but there's a difference between not having the time and not having the motivation, which is most likely the case, wouldn't you agree? Getting a budget up and running might take a few hours, but after that all it takes is a few minutes a week.

Want to know how much time Dani and I spend on our budget? About one hour a month. We keep track of our receipts and expenses, which takes a few seconds here and there, and at the end of the month we get together to compare our expenses to our budget, make adjustments, and plan for next month, but in total it probably doesn't take more than one hour.

Managing your money needs to be a higher priority since it is one of the largest contributing factors to the quality of your life. We have lots of posts to help you create a budget. Click here.

Budgeting Myth #2

I'm not good at math.

Oh, be quiet. Nobody is as bad at math as me. I loathe math. I jumped for joy when I finally graduated high school for the simple fact that I never had to open another math book again. There simply aren't enough synonyms for the word "detest" to describe how much I hate math.

And yet I budget.

Seriously, budgeting isn't rocket science. You've got your monthly income. You've got your monthly expenses. Those two numbers need to equal zero. Wham. Bam. There's your budget. You're welcome :-)

And thanks to budgeting software, you don't have to be good at math, you simply have to be able to follow instructions. Many of these programs are free and can be safely downloaded without fear of viruses or spyware from CNET's download.com. If you know how to use spreadsheet software, you can even make your own budget. Or, if you're like me and Dani, you can use paper and a plain, old-fashioned number 2 pencil.

Not doing a budget because you don't like math is a really lame excuse. Dave Ramsey has some really simple budgeting forms to help get you started.

Budgeting Myth #3

I keep track of budgeting in my head.

Uh-huh. Yeah. Sure you do. And that's why you never bounce a check, never find yourself overspending, and are sitting on a mountain of liquid cash. If you can seriously do a zero-based budget in your head every single month we’ll just assume you are the most brilliant person on the planet. Could you please help our government make a budget?

A budget in your head isn’t a budget. It’s just a vague-idea-of-what-I-spend deal-ish thing. To work, a budget needs to be written down so you can physically keep track of your assets. Moreover, if you're married and doing a budget in your head, how does that help your spouse? Guys, I'm talking at you! (And some ladies). You need to keep your spouse involved in the financial decision making.

Budgeting Myth #4

I don't need to budget because I keep track of everything I spend.

Great! That's budgeting. Sorta. Well, it's a start, but it's not a budget. If you're only keeping track of spending than you're only keeping track of the past. What about the future? The point of having a budget is to look ahead and plan for the coming month, year, and lifetime. You need to make plans for the money you haven't spent yet. Look forward AND back, not just one or the other.

Budgeting Myth #5

I want to be free to buy the things I want.

Cool. So do I. And that's why I budget. That doesn't mean I impulsively purchase every single thing I see, it means I've developed enough self-control to know where I want my money to go. If you like buying movies—like I do—budget for it. If you like getting coffee every morning—plan ahead. Need a new car? A camera? Need some landscaping done? Make. A. Budget! If you've got a budget for these things you will always have the money set aside for them, because a budget, over time, can build a cushion that provides increased purchasing power.

Read that again: increased purchasing power. Ooooh, I like the sounds of that!

The more of these myths—and others—you believe the more your actions will be defined by them. Don't let your future get bogged down under the weight of so many lies.

Keep pinchin' :-)

Breaking Free Part 2: How To See Some Hope

It's been two years since Danielle and I started down this road toward debt-free living. It's been a challenge, a fun ride, a ministry, and a blessing, all rolled into one adventure. This week we'd like to look back on our journey, share some of the intricacies of how and why we do it, and hopefully encourage you to gain some ground in your financial battle.

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Danielle made a comment recently that I'm pretty sure would've proven true had our lives taken different paths two years ago. She said, "If it weren't for our financial plan we probably wouldn't be together."

And I think she's right. Just a few months after getting married we found ourselves locked in a purgatory of money disagreements (we don't like the word "fights") and bad financial habits. She's a saver. I'm a spender. And neither of us had really considered the impact our individual approaches to money would have on our relationship.

In the fall of 2012, just four months after we got married, we took Financial Peace University by financial guru Dave Ramsey. I know there's a lot of Dave Ramsey detractors out there, but a lot of it is simple misunderstanding. I've noticed two groups of Dave-haters. First, there's people of the world who think debt is normal, who think our country's national debt is no big deal, and therefore don't understand why Dave Ramsey is on a crusade against it. Many of them—the biggest haters—also know he's a Christian, and that, in and of itself, paints a big shiny target on his bald dome.

Then there's other Dave Ramsey hate that comes from people—mainly Christians—who simply misunderstand his message. Sure, he can be a little too dogmatic about some things, but if you listen to his story you'll understand why. Dave doesn't claim to have all the answers, but he's built a massive empire around his business that's loaded with people who work their butts off every day to find the answers.

Dave's money management program stems from his own personal experience of having wealth, going bankrupt, finding a renewed faith in God, and having wealth again—lots of wealth! He's currently worth millions. His home in Tennessee—which he paid for with cash—is worth $4.9 million. Some Christians have a problem with this. They think Dave is unbiblical for living in such a way. But I fail to recall any Scripture that says having money is evil, or that when God blesses you in one particular area because of your obedient faithfulness that you need to turn the blessing away.

Their feelings on the matter leave me vexed. Terribly vexed.

Anyway, Dave's plan for achieving financial peace has one major design flaw: it doesn't work if you don't do it!

Ok, ok. That was a little too emphatic. Sorry.

Danielle and I aren't the Dave Ramsey worshippers that many others are, but we do appreciate his method because it has worked amazingly well for us. We also understand that everyone is different and that different plans work for different people. We encourage people who are in serious financial straightjackets to consider Crown Financial Ministries or another biblical-based money management program.

The Time When We Saw Hope

Danielle and I faithfully worked through the small-group version of Financial Peace University in the fall of 2012. I didn't want to do it. I didn't think it would work. But both Danielle and I needed to change the way we felt about money, and, more importantly, we needed to find mutual ground upon which we could start building a budget to get us out of debt.

Dave Ramsey's Baby Step #1 wasn't that hard for us—get $1,000 emergency savings in the bank. During our time leading FPU we met some people who struggled with this, so, trust me, we know how hard it can be, but we were just married and we didn't have any children, so finding $1,000 to put in an account was no biggie.

But then came Baby Step #2—pay off all non-mortgage debt using the debt snowball. This took some time, but we doggedly tracked down every spare dollar we could and eventually paid off the credit card. Then we took the money from the credit card payment and added it to a vehicle payment and we paid off that vehicle a year early.

And then our eyes opened.

Then we took the combined payments of the credit card and the vehicle and added it to another vehicle, and that one was paid off six months early.

And our eyes opened a little wider.

The plan was working, and, most importantly, it was changing the way we felt about money. Seeing progress was making the change happen within us. We began to see the value of cutting back on how much we spent on eating out. So we cut back some more. As our debt went down and our savings went up we saw the value of canceling nonessential monthly bills, like our Netflix account. We even decided not to budget for vacations for a while.

As time went on our vision for our financial future came together. Gone was the fear and desperation that my wife had felt before. Gone was my frustration at her for being so tight-fisted with money. We had learned each other's "money language," and there was newfound respect and empathy.

Our friend, Jacey, over at The Balanced Wife, puts it well: "Taking the first step takes so much more energy than staying in motion."

The great thing about Financial Peace University is that it allows you to see hope in a short amount of time. Usually within 1-to-3 months you'll see that $1,000 emergency fund in the bank. After 3-to-6 months you'll see that debt snowball working wonders. You'll start to feel more in control of your money, instead of feeling like you're money is controlling you.

You might even start to see that maybe Dave Ramsey is really onto something after all.

Other posts in this series:
Part 1: My Personal Wake-Up Call
Part 3: Overcoming The Comparison Trap
Part 4: The Things We Didn't Give Up

Breaking Free Part 1: My Personal Wake-Up Call

It's been two years since Danielle and I started down this road toward debt-free living. It's been a challenge, a fun ride, a ministry, and a blessing, all rolled into one adventure. This week we'd like to look back on our journey, share some of the intricacies of how and why we do it, and hopefully encourage you to gain some ground in your financial battle.

---

I can't name a date and time when it happened, but it was shortly after Danielle and I were married, and when it happened it was like a train pulling into the station, towing with it freight car after freight car of realizations and harsh realities.

I realized I couldn't eat out whenever I wanted.

I realized I couldn't spend every weekend at the movies.

I realized my collection of Batman action figures wasn't going to be growing anytime soon.

I realized that I suddenly had a mortgage and a bunch of other financial responsibilities that took priority.

Most importantly, I realized that I had a wife who had this innate need within her to feel cared for, and my going around spending our money all willy-nilly style was going to make her feel insecure. I realized that I needed to step up to the plate of manhood and aim for the bleachers.

I'm glad this all dawned on me when it did, but I just wish it had happened sooner. I tell you guys, you men, if you're not developing good money habits right now the struggle to keep your head above the financial waters is going to multiply when you get married, buy a house, and start a family. If you've got boys you're raising you need to start preparing them for this because the early years of married life are nothing but a time bomb waiting to happen for someone who is completely unprepared to handle the larger financial responsibilities of life.

Thankfully, the Lord put it on my heart to take Financial Peace University about three months after Danielle and I were married, after we had been through three tumultuous months of arguing over money matters, wondering if our differences in this area were going to drive us apart.

Dave said two things that really made sense to me.

Saving money is about emotion

Dave says, "Personal finance is 80% behavior and only 20% head knowledge." If you want to improve your financial situation, you need to change the way you FEEL about money. If you want your sons and daughters to grow up with a responsible approach to handling finances, you need to make sure they develop healthy feelings about it.

There are different ways of doing this, but it begins with getting out of the "credit card" mindset that permeates today's culture. When you pay cash for something, you FEEL the money leaving you. This is not true with credit cards. Paying with plastic develops a disconnect between people and money.

Saving money is about contentment

"Saving money is about emotion and contentment," says Dave. "When you aren't overspending to impress others, you can win."

Comparison is a dangerous trap. It kills contentment, and if you can't model contentment in your life then your kids will never learn it either.

Dave says, "Being content is the spiritual state of not needing something else to feel whole. When you're content, you're not motivated to buy stuff... Don't get sucked into the illusion that you'll be happy when you have that new car, that new home, or $1 million in the bank. Stuff does not equal happiness."

We'll talk more about contentment on Wednesday in "Overcoming the Comparison Trap."

But, for now I'll just say that learning about how Danielle felt about money, understanding how I felt about money, how to be content and less concerned with keeping up with the Joneses was a real eye-opener for me.

What it really boiled down to was choice. Choosing to be content is immediately freeing. You can choose in any given moment to be content or not. Choosing to not concern yourself with what others think about you or your spending habits is a huge leap toward finding true financial peace.

Other posts in this series:
Part 2: How To See Some Hope
Part 3: Overcoming The Comparison Trap
Part 4: The Things We Didn't Give Up

A Shopping Spree With My Hubby

Going clothes shopping on a budget can be hard, but if you do it right you can replace the "hard" with pure "fun!"

Before we were married, both Jake and I had very different approaches to clothes shopping.

Jake would shop for clothes whenever he needed, buying many things he didn't need, whether he really had the money or not, and almost always he would be totally unaware of just how much money he was spending.

And I, ever the saver, would save and save and horde and horde my money until I could go on a huge shopping spree and splurge all I wanted. But at least I always knew to the dollar how much I had spent, she says proudly :-P

There are pros and cons to both methods, but, in the long run, neither are very responsible because neither one is really in control of the money. Back then, the money that we were spending wasn't allocated for clothes, wasn't accounted for on a budget, and wasn't part of a larger plan. Money that isn't part of a plan is money that just goes away.

Well, not anymore!

Last week Jake and I got to experience clothes shopping the way it should be. We had been saving money in our clothing budget for a while now in anticipation of needing to get a few new things. Our shopping trip required some planning because in our area you've got to drive at least an hour to get to any real good shopping places.

We began by going out to eat with some gift certificates that we had been saving, which not only covered the cost of our meal but also the tip. A free meal for two? You betchya!

Now onto the more interesting stuff. Shopping!

My strategy was to look for those clothing items that we really needed first, and then, if there was any money left over, we could purchase things we wanted.

When I enter a store I usually head to the back of the store first, or to wherever I know that they hide their best deals. I know marketing experts think they're being clever by pushing new merchandise "sales" near the entrance, but they don't fool me. I start at the back and work my way forward.

Few ladies have the luxury of being married to a man who likes shopping, or at least tolerates it well, but my hubby rather seems to enjoy it—so long as he gets to buy something. He's even learned some of my shopping strategies and is getting better and better at hunting down good deals—between two different stores he found three pairs of jeans all for about the price of one. He also hunted down a good deal on workout clothes.

I scored some great deals on some sun dresses and workout clothes—and splurged on a new pair of hot pink and black flip-slops.

When we returned home and I tallied everything up I was surprised to find that we had only spent about two-thirds of what we had budgeted. That was a great feeling for two reasons:

1. It's always fun to have a successful shopping trip where you found some great deals and saved a lot of money


2. But more importantly, Jake and I are finally learning to do this whole shopping thing the right way. Our money is working for us instead of slipping through our fingers. Every month there's a little bit more in savings, and the money in our budget for things like clothing grows a little bit more, which means there's more available when we need it.

It's times like these that make me realize how well our financial plan is working. Except it's not our plan. I shouldn't even call it Dave Ramsey's plan. It's simply a biblical way of handling money. It's how God has been telling people to manage their money since mankind had money. And when you think about it you realize that it's the best, most common sense way of handling money. It's less stressful. It's not challenging. It just takes time, discipline, and a little bit of practice.

Ok, a LOT of practice. In fact, Jake and I are still practicing, but more and more we're seeing the plan work! And I'm so thankful that we have a God who has it all laid out for us! We need only follow the plan.

So how do you score great deals on clothing? Do you go often to look at deals or plan a big trip? Tell us all about it in the comments below.

Keep pinchin' ;-)

Make Your Goals Specific And Measurable... Like Batman

Batman is the quintessential problem solver. Since his inception in 1939 he has always been, first and foremost, a detective. A costumed Sherlock Holmes. More than his martial arts skills, his money, or his gadgets Batman's intellect has always proven to be his most valued asset.

Though the movies have often failed to demonstrate this aspect of the Caped Crusader, there's a great scene in "The Dark Knight Rises" that shows Batman's intellect and how victory can be achieved when you first break down your problems and tackle them one step at a time.

First, you've got to understand, that in "The Dark Knight Rises" Batman had spent the majority of the movie getting beaten to a pulp. He had grown too cocky, over-confident, and had lost his edge. As a result, when he finally comes face-to-face with the physically superior villain Bane, Batman gets pulverized and tossed into a third world dungeon with a broken back.

As his body heals, Batman considers what he did wrong, and when he finally returns to Gotham City he approaches Bane like a surgeon, dissecting the threat before they come to blows. First he recruits some allies. Then he gathers his equipment. Then he spreads hope to the citizens of Gotham and fear to the followers of Bane by announcing his return in dramatic fashion. Finally, after months of planning, Batman springs his trap and defeats the bad guy.

With a little planning, determination, and some allies, nothing is impossible to overcome.

• Don't try to tackle your problems all at the same time. No matter how much craziness you've got going on in your life, it's wise to break the issues down and take them on one by one. This is what makes Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University so effective—it breaks down the budgeting process into easily achievable goals, goals that you can't help but reach as long as you keep moving forward.


• As Batman so clearly demonstrates in "The Dark Knight Rises," your goals must be specific and measurable. When he returned to Gotham City to face Bane again, he had a detailed plan that included the use of specific allies and certain equipment. It's an example of the obvious—if your goals are too vague they are just dreams.


• Long-term thinkers are the ones who win. Batman knew that defeating Bane was essential to the survival of Gotham City. His plan took months to form, but it was for a far-reaching purpose. Today's culture doesn't think like this. We're all about immediacy and convenience, and rarely do we think beyond our needs for the day, week, or maybe even the month. But when we keep our eyes on the future instead of our immediate circumstances, the possibility of reaching our goals becomes more and more inevitable.

This is a simple formula that can be applied to any tricky life situation:

1. break your problem down into smaller goals
2. make your goals specific and measurable
3. plan around those goals with a far-reaching future in mind

You may find yourself beaten at times. You may find that there are some Banes out there who are going to catch you off guard, knock you down, and thwart all of your efforts, but you can't let your circumstances overwhelm you.

Are there any specific and measurable goals that you're currently chipping away at? Or have you been thwarted?

Keep pinchin' :-)

10 Things I Hate About Saving Money

In all honesty, as much as Dave Ramsey has saved our finances, and probably even our marriage, his principles can be a real drain on life sometimes. Especially if you're a free-spirited spender like moi.

Now, for Dani and I, when we get down about things, we'll make a rap music video or find some other creative ludicrousness through which we can vent our frustrations.

Sometimes, however, you just gotta let it out. So here's my top 10 reasons why I hate saving money.

1. I AIN'T GETIN' ANY YOUNGER

A screenshot from our trip to
Cedar Point video.

Bush Gardens. Disneyland. Sea World. The world's tallest roller coaster. Scotland. I want to enjoy these things while I still have youth and vibrance to enjoy them.

2. I AIN'T THE OUTDOORSY TYPE
I don't mind a nice hike from time to time. I enjoy family picnics and bike riding, camping, and boating, but my real passions are indoors—art, writing, movies, books. Sometimes it's not easy to enjoy the indoors for free when there's three new blu-ray movies that just came out or the next installment of George R.R. Martin's Game of Thrones series to read.

3. SPEAKING OF MOVIES
I love the whole movie-going experience. The audience reaction. The surround sound. The dark. The smell of overpriced popcorn. Sadly, my theater-going excursions have drastically diminished over the last couple of years. I don't mind being more selective about which movies I go see, but, dang it, sometimes I just want to BE at the movies.

4. THE LUNCH DATE
Back before I knew how much money I was wasting on eating out, I never gave it a second thought to have dinner with a cousin or my dad or call up my mom and say, "Hey, how 'bout lunch!" Now I have to plan weeks in advance for these sorts of things, if I can afford them at all!

5. I NEED MORE USEFUL STUFF
Not useLESS stuff. UseFULL stuff. Dani and I budget for everything—well, we try to—but even still there's some things that there's just no way to budget for right now. Stuff like bicycles, kayaks, power tools, and games for entertaining friends, are just impossible to find money for when you're trying to break free of debt.

6. WHEN I FEEL LIKE BENG ALL ROMANTIC
When the wifey and I were dating, it was fun to buy her flowers and chocolates and cards and things like that. Now that we're married we find that although that stuff isn't as essential to building intimacy and romance as it once was, it's still fun every now and then. With such limited flexibility in our budget,  however, it's hard to justify spending $30 on a bouquet of flowers.

7. TREATING OTHERS TO SOME FUN
I would love to have extra cash to treat my little nephews to some ice cream, or take some friends out for a round of mini-golf. Assuming the financial burden on behalf of someone else so they can have some free fun is, personally, a lot of fun! And I miss being able to do that.

8. MR. FIX-IT, I AM NOT
At the very mention of something breaking down I get this hot little knot in my chest. I hate engines. I hate plumbing. I hate repairing things. I'm not good at it. I would much rather pay someone else to do the fixing and make sure the job is done right than waste hours of my own time bumbling through something that a professional can do in 10 minutes. Dealing with stressful repairs while on a tight budget means finding ways to bury that hot little knot and fix it myself.

9. FOOD IS MORE COMPLICATED ON A BUDGET
Sometimes I have a tiring day at work. Sometimes the wife does too. Sometimes, when we're both exhausted and it's 90 degrees outside and neither of us feel like making anything I want to just make the executive decision to bring home a pizza. Mmmmm yea.... no. Not in the budget. Sigh.

10. "GET ME OUTTA HERE!"
There's a hilarious scene in the movie "Happy Gilmore" where Adam Sandler's character Happy is bringing his grandmother to a nursing home.

"This place is perfect!" Happy says as they roll up the driveway. "You're going to make friends in no time."

Suddenly a crazed-looking woman throws herself onto the hood of the car and screams desperately, "Mister! Get me outta here!"

And that's kind of how I feel sometimes when all this penny pinching starts to get on my nerves. One eye kind of goes askew. My face contorts. And I'm tempted to run up to total strangers and beg them to help me get free.

And now, if you don't mind, I'm just going to pick my tongue up, hop off my soapbox, and wander to a small little corner to weep.

Keep pinchin' :-)

Celebrating Two Years Of Marriage

Today the hubby and I celebrate two years of marriage! It's been a crazy roller coaster ride, but all the ups and downs have just added to the thrill.

We went out for a special lunch on Sunday at the beautiful Juniper's Restaurant at The Wildflower Inn. The food was delicious, the view was gorgeous, and the company couldn't have been better.

As I think back over the last two years a few things stand out:

• We began our journey to debt-free living, and have so far paid off over $25,000 in debt.
• We got to be on the Katie Couric Show and meet Dave Ramsey and his daughter Rachel Cruze and win $594 in the money booth!
• We have gone on vacation to Boston, and Old Orchard Beach in Maine.
• We've had a blast creating three music videos, all of which Jake wrote the lyrics for.
• We've completed lots of home improvement projects together.
• We recently came to the decision to sell our great big beautiful home.
• We are still excited about all that we have to look forward to in our future, including hopefully transforming our imaginary kiddos into real kiddos, adopting some more kiddos, moving closer to our church and Jake's family and growing old together.

If you were to ask Jake (and I just did) he would say that our second year of marriage has been marked by events smaller than our first year, but more significant. Where are first year was a bit of a struggle as two extremely independent people learned how to share their lives, our second year saw us both learning how to relate to each other better while growing emotionally and spiritually. Our first year was tough. Our second year was much improved.

We've made it a tradition to return to the Ivy Chapel in our hometown of Bethlehem, NH, and re-take a photo from our wedding day every year on our anniversary.

Our Wedding Day 2012

First Anniversary 2013

Second Anniversary 2014

And Lord willing we will have about 50 more of these photos someday!

Keep pinchin' :-)

Short-Circuiting Self-Sabotage To Win At Financial Recovery

To me, the hands-down best episodes of the hit sitcom Seinfeld are the ones where Jerry and George get to make a TV sitcom for NBC, and fail in spectacular fashion—though ultimately the failure is not their fault.

True to form, it's the slow-witted George Costanza—who believes that God will never allow him to be successful—and his self-sabotaging antics that nearly ruin their chances at fame. First he tries negotiating with the network for more money, which results in him and Jerry actually getting less. Then he gets involved in a romantic relationship with one of the show's producers, whom he ends up despising, but he's too afraid of losing their sitcom to he breaks up with her. Then he begins irritating the cast members. Then he has that "white discoloration" on his lip that he's convinced is terminal cancer. All of his nervousness over the possibility of success make almost incapable of actually becoming successful. In fact, he is pretty much the quintessential example of a hopeless, self-sabotaging individual.

Self-sabotage happens a lot with financial recovery. After a few months of disciplined budgeting and careful spending, some people start to miss the excitement of shopping, swiping credit cards, eating out, or entertainment. So they find themselves wandering the aisles of the mall "just to look," but in actuality they're feeding the growing urges to spend. Or they might start borrowing money from one area, like grocery money, to splurge in another.

Over time these little decisions short-circuit the entire budget, cause the person to get discouraged, and throw in the towel because they "just can't do it."

If you can’t break your addiction to financial excitement, you’re never going to achieve the kind of financial life that gives you peace.

True, spending money is exciting, and, yes, it's true that getting out of debt can be a total bore, but nothing good ever came from lazy behavior. Words like "discipline," "steadfastness," and "structure," are words that successful people are very familiar with. You want to loose weight? Discipline! You want to change your lifestyle? Steadfastness! You want to be rich some day? Get structured!

Here's another word: routine.

When it comes to getting in better physical shape, for example, I've noticed that the people who actually succeed at doing this have established routines. They don't work out every single day because they feel like—although sometimes they may feel like—they just do it.

How should paying off debt and building wealth be any different? How do you create more routine with money, and, most importantly, how do you stay on track when you're feeling bored or resistant.

Here are some ideas:

• Like Dave Ramsey always says, make a list. Even if the first item on your list says, "Make list," at least it will help you feel like you've accomplished something. Try listing your smallest debts first—credit card, car, house. Make a list of weekly budget-related tasks—Get groceries: $100, Get cleaning supplies: $20. Until you give yourself structure, you won't have any at all.


• Hold regular budget meetings. For the first year after FPU Dani and I met faithfully every week to go over our budget. Once we felt more confident in the process, we started meeting every couple of weeks. The point is, we meet and go over the budget together on a regular basis because there is no "one size fits all" budget. It has to be revisited every month, or seasonally at least.


• Dani and I have learned that we make better progress when we have hard and fast goals. We got more work done on the upstairs renovation in three days than we had in a month because we found out the realtor was coming to show our house on the weekend. And, in the past, whenever we have been adamantly focused on paying off a debt we have succeeded more quickly than we anticipated. Having goals works!


• Having fun is key to staying sane throughout this whole process. So what can you do to have fun that doesn't involve spending money? Dani loves to go to the beach. I like to chill in my hammock and read a book or write on my laptop. During the holidays we like to go look at Christmas lights. Museums. Parks. Parades. There's lots of fun, affordable entertainment to find if you look for it.

It can be hard to shift your mindset from over-spending to something as mundane as list-making and budgeting, but you have to believe that this is what will have the biggest impact on your level of financial peace. The more routine you establish, the better your chances of nipping those self-sabotaging behaviors in the bud.

Keep pinchin' :-)

First FPU Reunion Shows Just How Well... Or Bad... We're All Doing

For our first reunion of Financial Peace University graduates, we decided to have a potluck (because we're true Baptists). It's only been about three months, but we've found a reunion is helpful, if not essential, in keeping people motivated to stick to their budgets.

Of a class that averaged about 35 regular attendees, we had about 20 show up for the reunion, which isn't bad considering it's graduation season. But, then again, there WAS food.

We found that the main thing people seem to have in common was bad decision-making over small matters. Whether it's borrowing cash from one envelope to purchase something different, or going out to eat when they shouldn't; it was these kinds of decisions that had piled up, ruined budgets, and made some people discouraged.

The perfectionist in me can TOTALLY relate to this. I'm not as bad anymore, but in my younger years if I couldn't do something perfectly I wouldn't do it all. Even today I find that little mistakes here and there can bring me to a place where I conclude that it's just not worth it. But failures can not be an excuse to throw it all out the window, and I think that's what some people subconsciously hope for.

There's a psychological term for this called "self-sabotage." As ridiculous as it sounds, it's exactly what some people do when they KNOW they need to succeed at something, but find too many self-gratifying reasons to postpone their long-term goals. Some of the most common self-sabotaging behaviors are procrastination, self-medication with drugs or alcohol, comfort eating in the face of weight concerns, or in the case of sticking to a financial budget it can be any number of material things—new shoes, restaurants, entertainment.

This is why it's so helpful to work through Dave Ramsey's baby steps with a spouse, friend, or accountability partner. When one person starts to make poor, potentially self-sabotaging decisions, the other can step in and say, "Whoa!"

We were encouraged though to see that many had also experienced a lot of victories. One couple had doubled their savings in the three months since FPU, and there two other couples who had opened savings accounts for the first time in their lives. One man spoke about finding little ways to save by finding a cheaper telephone service provider, while another said he and his wife have been steadily working with their debt snowball and anticipated being debt free in another three or four months.

As for Dani and I, well, we finally have health insurance!

It's a blessing to be a part of such an honest, communicative, and willing group of participants. Knowing that you're not alone in this struggle is sometimes all the encouragement you need.

Keep pinchin' :-)

PS. Check out some of these inspirational clips from people on Dave Ramsey's show doing their triumphant "debt free screams."

Ryan and Micha - Debt Free Scream

Craig and Lisa - Debt Free Scream

Rob and Marisa - Debt Free Scream

Anderson and Kerri - Debt Free Scream

Is It OK To Stop Tithing To Pay Off Debt?

Is it permissible to stop tithing if you have a mountain of debt to pay off? Is this acceptable to God?

The simple answer is... sure. Cutting back, or stopping, tithing if you're in serious debt is OK. The Bible doesn't say anything about it one way or another. It's clear from Scripture that tithing is very important to God, but it's also clear that He doesn't want us to be in debt. He wants to be able to use us to the fullest extent, but while we are beholden to mortgages and student loans and credit card companies, our potential is hindered. Matthew 6:24 says no one can serve two masters, especially God and money.

The more complicated side of the issue is your heart. Are you truly making every effort to get out of debt? Are you just using your debt as an excuse not to tithe? Those are the kinds of heart questions that make this more of a gray area, but let's take a closer look at what Scripture says about money and tithing, then I'll wrap it up with a few questions for you that should help you decide for yourself whether you should stop tithing.

First off, we should never minimize the importance of giving to the Lord. Sacrificial giving is part of God's plan for every believer. It was created, not for God's benefit, but ours. It was designed to teach us how to keep God first in our lives. Proverbs 3:9 tells us to honor the Lord with the first fruits of our labor, and cautions that those who give minimally with a reluctant heart won't receive the riches of the Lord (2 Corinthians 9:7, Proverbs 11:24).

We see in the Old Testament that tithing was how God chose to meet the material needs of the priests who also worked at meeting the needs of the poor. To this day tithing is how our churches support our pastors and missionaries. I think it is shameful for any Christian to splurge on life comforts and material things for themselves, but not give to support their local church. In Malachi 3:8, God condemned the Israelites for not tithing, saying, "You are robbing Me!"

And, just to clarify, what is a "tithe?" The writer of the book of Hebrews reveals that a tithe is generally considered to be a tenth of your earnings, (Hebrews 7:5). A lot of people wonder, "Is that before or after taxes?" That's a question that scholars have argued about for centuries, but to me the answer is simple: God first. Why? Because he's God! Yes, I know Scripture tells us to give to Caesar what is Caesar's (Mark 12:17), meaning, give the government the taxes it demands, no matter how unfair it seems, but Scripture says to give God the "first fruits," not the government.

So it should be clear to us that tithing is a pretty big deal to God. Unfortunately recent studies have shown that giving among evangelicals over the last decade has declined to Depression-era lows—less than 3% of Christians are giving charitably. That's a staggeringly low number, and it should be an embarrassing statistic to any believer.

Now what about debt? Well, God is pretty serious about that too. The Bible says that people who borrow money become slaves to the lenders (Proverbs 22:7). God hates slavery. He sent his own Son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross to free us from slavery to sin. God wants our lives to be lived free in every way—free from addictions, free from selfishness, from spiritual death, free from creditors and debt. We are told to owe no one anything except to love, (Romans 13:8). So, again, the Bible's position is clear: debt is bad.

But tithing is good.

How do we figure this out?

Let's say you're in debt up to your eyeballs—if you don't get the electric bill paid this week it's going to be shut off; creditors are calling your house every day asking for money; you're in deep in a big way. In this case it would not be wrong to decrease giving, or stop giving entirely, temporarily, to pay off debt.

But consider these three questions first:

1. Are there other areas of spending that I could cut out first? If you're still splurging on expensive coffee, dining out, entertainment, luxury clothes, or other unnecessary things, perhaps the expense of tithing isn't your biggest problem. Perhaps you should cut back in other areas first.


2. Do I even really want to give to the Lord? God loves a cheerful giver (2 Corinthians 9:7), but if you're grumbling and complaining every time you drop a check in the offering plate then that's evidence of a heart issue that goes a lot deeper than tithing or not tithing.


3. Are there other ways I can give to the Lord during my tithing hiatus? I learned this from my sister a few years ago when she had to take a break from tithing for financial reasons. During that time she tried to serve at church more and give more of her time. You might want to consider doing this until you get your financial feet back under you.

No matter what you decide, be sure to pray about it so that you can be certain that giving up tithing will actually benefit you. Dave Ramsey says that many people have observed that after they stopped tithing their finances actually got worse. In the book of Malachi, God promises that if you do not rob Him of your tithing He will rebuke your devourers and protect you. Might the opposite also be true?

Dave Ramsey also says if you can't live off 90% of your income, then you probably can't live off 100% either, so that 10% that you don't give to the Lord isn't going to help you much anyway. Dani and I have decided to tithe no matter what, and God has graciously enabled us to be able to do that, so I think if you really look at your budget you can find a way to make it work and still give to the Lord. Nobody should beat you up about it if you can't, but pray about it, read the Bible, and if/when you tithe be sure you do it out of a love for God, not guilt.

Keep pinchin' :-)

Why Dave Ramsey Should Hire Us

Sometimes I feel like we pretty much work for Dave Ramsey, minus the fact that he doesn't pay us, of course!

Why do I feel like this? Maybe because since the start of this year Jake and I have spoken in four different churches, sharing with them about our experience with Financial Peace University and encouraging everyone to take this course. On top of that we just completed leading the nine week course at our home church!

I can't recall in my lifetime ever advocating for something specific like this in such an extreme way. I mean, how many people travel to other churches to encourage people to take a class when the compensation for their time will be $0 and it's someone else's class? I don't know if this poll has ever been taken, but I have a pretty good feeling that statistically not many.

It could be easy to become bitter, tired or frustrated that our "ministry" is to basically sell a class to people when financially we gain nothing. Ok, hold on, I said "it could be."

And it's not. We don't expect compensation. We don't share about this class in hopes of gaining something or because we think Dave will hire us. We do it because we believe in it, and have first-hand experienced that Dave's plan works. Not because it's Dave's plan, but because it's really God's plan. Dave just breaks it down for people in an easy to follow seven step process.

We desire for Christians especially to get their finances straightened out. We have come to realize that as long as believers have debt they have something hindering them from being easily used by God. When you don't have debt, and you have a bit of wealth, you can not only offer to pray for others with financial needs but you can help those needs too. That family that is trying to adopt, you can give toward the cost. The single mom whose electricity is about to be shut off, you can pay the bill. And if God calls you to the mission field, you don't have to wait to get your debt paid off before you can go.

Financial freedom isn't just about building wealth and living your dream life, it's about being a good steward in every aspect of your life so that God can use His resources the way He intends them to be used THROUGH YOU!

So, even though being "Dave Ramsey Spokespeople" isn't a paid position, we will continue to share in the hopes of helping others become better stewards of what they have on loan from God.

Keep pinchin' :-)

Jake's Take: Stranger Than Fiction - Have A Cookie!

Deriving financial insights from today's blockbusters and yesteryear's classics.

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When it comes to the movies, the character of Harold Crick is perhaps the best example of what Dave Ramsey calls a “Nerd”—a person who manages money with facts and figures and spreadsheets and has a difficult time letting go of all the numbers. Played by Will Ferrell in the quirky comedy Stranger Than Fiction, Harold is an IRS agent and he just doesn’t know how to have fun.

Then he meets Ana, a baker he is auditing. She is the complete opposite of Harold, an anarchist, an artist—the essence of what Dave Ramsey calls the “Free Spirit,” a person who doesn’t know how to manage money and is too busy having so much fun that they don’t even know the kind of financial straightjacket they’re in. That’s Ana.

There is a wonderful moment in the film when Ana offers Harold a fresh-baked cookie.

“I don’t like cookies,” Harold says.

“You don’t like cookies? What’s wrong with you?” Ana says.

“I don’t know.”

“Everybody likes cookies.”

Not Harold. He was raised in a family where the only cookies they ever ate were store bought. His mother never baked. So Ana gives him a nice, warm chocolate chip cookie and instructs him to sit down, dip it into some milk, and eat it. Which he does. And it is one of the most thrilling, eye-opening moments of Harold’s life, a moment that begins a sequence of events throughout the film that open up Harold’s world beyond the numbers and spreadsheets that he’s obsessed with.

Now, admittedly, I advocate for the Free Spirits because I am one, which is why I like this movie so much. I know, I know, us Free Spirits can get you nerds into a whole heap of financial trouble, I’m not saying we don’t have our own problems to reign in, but a Nerd that doesn’t know how to let go of a little bit of control is a real downer.

For us Free Spirits life is about having fun—going out to eat, seeing a movie, riding a roller coaster, taking a trip, eating a fresh-baked chocolate chip cookie. We don’t care what it costs, we just need to live a little. I know that's dangerous. I'm not saying that we don't have our quirks, but when we’re confronted with someone who is always trying to reign us in we feel suffocated.

So if you’re like Harold, lighten up. And if you’re like Ana, be sure you offer your Nerd a cookie. Preferably freshly baked.

Keep pinching’ :-)

Developing An Attitude Of Gratitude In Your Kids

"Why is it that a two-year-old is often happier playing in the box a toy came in rather than playing with the actual toy? Why is it that children living in poverty in third-world countries seem happier and more content than kids in wealthy nations? Because neither is caught in the trap of comparisons. They don’t know what they are missing out on. They are simply grateful."

That's the idea behind Smart Money, Smart Kids, a brand-new book out by Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze. Literally, it just came out today. I think.

I remember one Christmas when I was a kid, probably eight years old, I was tearing open presents like a madman... er, boy. My stack of presents was pretty big, and was piling up so fast that I couldn't unwrap them fast enough. I was oblivious to everyone else in our small crowded living room—my cousins Nick and Danny, my aunts and uncles, my sister Tess, my parents. I couldn't think of anything else but me. Me and all those glorious presents that just kept on coming!

I don't remember being aware of Philip until my dad tapped me on the shoulder and asked me to come into the bedroom. He closed the door behind me and told me that Philip was a foster kid, just a little older than me, who had been sent to live with my aunt and uncle the day before Christmas. No one knew he was coming, so no one had gotten him any presents. I remember feeling a little embarrassed at that point by all the presents I had so greedily been diving into.

Dad made me put on my coat and boots and we drove into town looking for a store, any store, that was actually open on Christmas. When we found a little hardware/convenient store, dad took me inside and asked me to pick out a couple presents I thought Philip might like. I found a radio-controlled car and an action figure. We took the toys back to our apartment, wrapped them, and gave them to Philip.

I don't know if Philip expected to get anything for Christmas or not, but being a boy of around 10 or 11, I'm sure he was hoping for something. The look on his face when I handed him the presents was one of surprise and happiness. He had that radio-controlled car racing around the kitchen in just a few minutes.

I tell this story because I think, more often than not, we see kids on Christmas throwing temper tantrums because they didn't get what they wanted, or they didn't get enough. I tell ya, it was an eye-opening thing for me to witness a kid like Philip endure a Christmas fast while I was enjoying a Christmas feast.

In their book, Smart Money, Smart Kids, Dave and Rachel talk about raising children who are sincerely grateful for what they have. How do you teach a child to develop an attitude of gratitude? How do you show them what it is to appreciate what they've got?

I think for my kids it's going to involve taking them to a soup kitchen or homeless shelter on Christmas Eve where they can help serve the less fortunate at a time when they're getting plenty. I want to give them a visual picture to keep in mind whenever they think they don't have enough, or complain because of what they have. Because I'll tell you this, after I gave those presents to Philip and went back to my stack of gifts—which had grown considerably in the time it took my dad and I to go on our brief shopping trip—I didn't have the same greedy, gimmie-gimmie attitude. I was sort of blown away by what my dad had done, and embarrassed that I didn't see the need that he saw in Philip.

"We all have things to count as blessings, but we also have a tendency to lose our sense of awe and our sense of gratitude. Make sure your heart is full of gratitude for the blessings in your own life. Let your children witness this in you, and they will want to respond with gratitude for the blessings in their own lives." —Smart Money, Smart Kids.

What has it been like for you teaching your kids to be grateful?

Keep pinchin' :-)

Don't Be A Toadie

It amazes me sometimes just how deep, and how often, people get into debt. I'm not pointing fingers. I'm guilty of this. Just ask my wife. People like me who enjoy spending money are always in danger of spending too much. The discipline of reeling ourselves in takes time and practice.

I'm sick of being in debt. It's one of the main reasons I've decided to strive for debt-free living with "gazelle intensity," as Dave Ramsey says.

But there's another reason I want to be out of debt: I don't want to be a toadie.

Humans are like toads sometimes. You put them in a frying pan and turn up the heat, and the little toadie will cook to death because he doesn't sense the gradually rising heat (or so I've heard. I don't think MythBusters has done an episode on this yet. PETA probably won't let them). Just like that poor little toadie, those of us who attract debt just sit there as the mounting threat of debt builds around us. We start to sweat under the pressure as the heat rises. It takes a lot sometimes to realize that that sizzling sound isn't a barbecue. It's our butts!

You can always tell who the toadies are too. They're the ones living in a run down trailer with a six different satellites attached and a brand new 4X4 parked out front. They're the ones with high blood pressure. They're the ones who can barely afford to pay the rent, but go to the movies every week, buy gourmet coffee every morning, and eat at restaurants like they're going out of style.

UrbanDictionary.com defines "toadie" as someone who is a side-kick, a tag-along, someone who does the dirty work. Like people with too much debt—they're not walking around with a credit card in their pocket; it's the credit card that's walking around with a toadie attached, tagging along, spending and spending and spending. The dirty work.

I don't want to be a toadie. I don't even want to look like a toadie. When people look at my house I want them to see evidence of a good steward. I don't want to be embarrassed by my purchase history. I'm done living in the frying pan of debt collectors.

Keep pinchin' :-)

The Giving Bucket List

I think God made me a giver. Ironically he also made me a spender—or maybe that was the devil's doing. Either way, I find that giving is a hard thing to accomplish when I don't have any money left to give.

And getting married hasn't made things any easier. Dani and I both have the same vision when it comes to giving, but there are many financial burdens that come with joining our lives together, buying a house, and planning for children. We give regularly to our church and to others as we are able, but there's a lot we need to accomplish with our finances before we can, as Dave Ramsey says, "give like no one else."

I dream of being able to give more though. Like on my 40th birthday, instead of getting presents, I want to go out and do 40 random acts of kindness—pay for someone's lunch, someone's gas, wash someone's car, help a little old lady out of the store with her bags. Some of this will require some money, unfortunately.

Other things I'd get a kick out of doing someday include:

• Finding a need within our church and taking care of it anonymously—e.g. paying a widow's bills, help a single mother make a payment, give that missionary what they need.


• After eating out at a restaurant I want to leave the waiter or waitress a massive tip.


• Treat my local fire department or police station to a BBQ complete with burgers, hotdogs, French fries, chips, soda, salads (for something healthy), and cookies (to negate the salads).


• Buy a bunch of gift cards to a local coffee shop and hand them out to random strangers as they enter.


• Help a friend or family member out with a need—anonymously if possible.

I feel really guilty sometimes about not being able to give more right now, but I keep reminding myself that the wife and I will get there some day though. Some day we can be the givers I want us to be. Some day money won't be so tight and we can spend our days amusing ourselves by giving and giving and giving.

I'd be curious to know if anyone out there has done any kind of radical giving. Don't be shy. You don't have to brag, but share with us how the Lord has led you to bless others and what kind of experience it was.

Keep pinchin' :-)

The Horrendous Healthcare Hunt Begins!

Ok. Healthcare. Whether or not we want it, it is being forced upon us, in one form or another. I suppose if our imaginary kiddos are ever going to become real we're going to need insurance, or some kind of alternative, because life without it just isn't feasible, or wise.

Where to begin? Now that we're done shaking our fist at the government, it's time to stop fooling around and figure something out, which requires a lot of research, time, and effort. Moreover, we finally have our budget where we want it, and adding healthcare to the mix means rebuilding it practically from the ground up. And who wants to go there? Definitely not the Free Spirit—AKA the hubby.

Initially, we thought the best option would be getting healthcare through our employer, but that's expensive and, because of ObamaCare, funds things we don't agree with—like abortion and the morning after pill.

So what are our alternatives? There's Medi-Share, which we hear about on the Christian radio station all the time. It seems to be a good program, but in some ways it acts as an insurance in that there is an Annual Household Portion that you have to pay prior to making any claims. They also have provider fees that you have to pay for each visit. Is this good? Bad? Hard to say at this point.

Then there's Samaritan's Ministries, which also appears to be a good program. They do not have an Annual Household Portion because they point out that you are responsible for your healthcare costs, not a portion, but all of it. They're not insurance. They're a sharing ministry, which can be hard to wrap your head around if you're new to the concept, but it's worked since 1994. However, the downside to this alternative is that there is a minimum of $300 in order to make a claim. Who knows how many visits we'll make to the doctor that are under $300—probably not many in today's healthcare world—but you never know.

What else is there? We could pay Obama's hefty fine, but we hate the thought of giving people money who don't deserve it. Then there's always the possibility of having my husband deliver our children here at our home, but he tells me that's not going to happen. Hey, it's an alternative. I didn't say it was a good one.

If we've learned anything about health insurance from Dave Ramsey it's that living without health insurance is like gambling with your financial future. All it would take is one accident to ruin everything we've fought so hard to achieve, and that's not a gamble we're willing to make.

So what is your experience with healthcare alternatives? Have you any advice on Medi-Share or Samaritan's Ministries or even another option? Let us know in the comments below.

Keep pinchin' :-)

The One Lesson I Couldn't Learn from The Berenstain Bears

When I was a kid my favorite book series was The Berenstain Bears. (Can I get a high five from my '80's brothers?!) The Berenstain Bears taught us everything, didn't they—how to have good manners, how to deal with peer-pressure, how to tell time.

One of my favorites was “The Berenstain Bears Get the Gimmies.” In that one, Brother Bear and Sister Bear developed quite the anger-management issues whenever Mama Bear and Popa Bear said they couldn’t have something. The book dealt with the topics of respect, consumerism, and greed. However, as many times as my mother read that book to me, I still grew up with undeniable love of… well, stuff. I’m not proud of it, but it’s true. Sign me up for the support group right now.

The Berenstain Bears taught me all about plenty of other things, but that one lesson on “stuff” just didn’t stick.

I never realized how much of a problem this would be until I got married. My wife, Danielle, God bless her little frugal heart, didn’t quite know what to do with such an over-spender. Three months into our marriage and our diametrically opposing views on money management was the one thing that was driving us apart.

We took Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University in the fall of 2012 and it helped pull us out of our tailspin. It gave us a unified vision for our finances as well as a common language for communicating about money in a way we both could understand. But even after taking FPU, Dani and I still struggled, and a lot of that had to do with my love of buying things.

Impulse spending should be considered it’s own addiction, shouldn’t it? They should make a public service announcement featuring a man standing at a checkout line waiting to cash out.

NARRATOR: This is your brain.

The man spots a pair of night vision goggles on clearance just an arm’s-length away. His eyes go wide as saucers. The urge to splurge is building within him. He can't help himself. He shoves past an old lady to grab the goggles and whips out the credit card.

NARRATOR: This is your brain on “the gimmies.”

It's not such a problem when you're a single person, unless you're a single person who plans on getting married some day. Then it becomes a whole new ball game. Then you've got to remind yourself that there's another person who is going to be impacted by your purchasing decisions. That person may have a deep need to feel financially secure, and when you splurge all your money away it shakes them up emotionally. At some point you have to ask yourself how much you care about the way you make them feel.

For me, getting free of wanting more began by recognizing three things:

1. Recognize that I don't need everything right now. Even the things I really love—in my case, movies. A little patience never hurt anybody (another lesson I learned from those lovable anthropomorphic bears). Nowadays I more carefully consider what movies I want to buy, and this has led me to being more careful in general of the purchases I make.


2. Recognize that saving works. When we first started FPU I was skeptical. It took about three months of following Dave's plan, of budgeting with his principles in mind, for me to see that where this plan was taking us was actually working. After about six months we had paid off my car six months early. We had paid off my motorcycle a whole year early. All that's left now is our mortgage, and we've been attacking that like a couple of crazy people.


3. Recognize that my spouse is more important to me than stuff. Now, she'll probably tell you, and I'll freely admit, that I still have my moments. The 2013 Ford Mustang convertible that we rented for our honeymoon road trip was a beauty that I was embarrassingly reluctant to let go of. To this day there is hardly a Mustang I see that doesn't cause that little impulse spender in my brain to get excited. But as fun as it is to dream about owning things like that, I occasionally have to remind myself of the bigger picture here and the financial plan that my wife and I have set before us.

Truth be told, I still want more stuff, but it's becoming a different kind of stuff that I want. I want more for my wife, our children (which are merely intentions at the moment), more of a future that doesn't involve paying off debt until I'm 90. I want more freedom, more joy, more peace from consumerism.

And maybe some day I'll be able to look back on "The Berenstain Bears Get the Gimmies" and say, "Ah-ha! I finally learned that lesson, too!"

Keep pinchin' :-)

Get Educated About Money and Change Your Life

One of the reasons Dani and I are such proponents for Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University is the Depression-era lows of evangelical giving.

Let's face it, our government has really messed things up, and they're not getting any better. Very few people in political office today know how to properly manage money. The only language they speak is debt. Unfortunately this has many Americans feeling very tight-fisted with their money. The recession, rising fuel and food costs, and a political system that appears to be falling apart one seam at a time, has many Christians hesitant to give to their churches.

News reports over the last few years about the percentage of Christians tithing have been scary.

"Giving has declined for four consecutive years," according Empty Tomb, a Christian research group.
"The only other period of prolonged decline in giving per member was from 1928 through 1934, almost entirely during the Great Depression."(Click here to read the report.)

The percentage of evangelicals tithing to their local churches is 2.3%.

Whoa.

I believe there are two reasons for this.

1. Fear. As mentioned above, many Americans are losing faith in Uncle Sam's ability to take care of them, so they're clinging to their money more than ever before. I don't blame them.


2. Many Christians—not all, but many—just don't know how to handle money. Our American culture breeds a mind-set that is all about buying more, having more, getting the next best newest shiniest thing on the market, and doing so with credit cards, not hard-earned cash. Americans have become financially stupid. We just don't know how to handle money.

Fortunately it's not all bleak and grim. A 2013 report by the Evangelical Council for Financial Accountability (ECFA) reveals that charitable giving to more than 1,600 of its accredited organizations has actually increased in the last year—by 6.4 percent, in fact. It's not much, but, hey, it's something.

All of this should bring into sharp focus the need for us to become better stewards of our money. If we get better, and raise children who are better, the next generation of parents, teachers, and political officials will be better. But it has to start now. It has to start with us. You can't wait for a stimulus handout from Uncle Sam. You can't expect to win the lottery. Changing your finances is about changing your behavior, and that starts with getting the right education, be it through Dave Ramsey's course or Crown Financial or any of the other programs that are out there.

The choice starts with you.

Keep pinchin' :-)