Maui: The Christmas Gift She Never Saw Coming

Pray for us. This Wednesday we're getting on a plane at 6 in the morning, traveling to Newark, NJ, to catch a flight to Los Angeles, CA, where we'll get on a plane to fly to a 10 day stay on Maui, HI.

Yeah, it's going to be brutal.

I suspect Danielle, my summer-loving wife, will do a face-plant hug of the seashore the moment her feet hit Mr. Sand and I'll be lucky to get any time with her once that wife-stealing son-of-a-beach gets his gritty dunes on her. I hope she doesn't neglect me too much though because it's due to my own personal genius... ness... that we're even going on this trip. So, you know, credit where credit is due, and all that.

Back in November when I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas, she jokingly said, "A trip to Hawaii." She mentioned this two other times, and it became unclear to me just exactly how jokey she was actually being. Regardless, I began to wonder just how plausible a trip to Hawaii really was. I mean, we had the money. We had the time. Why not go?

I really enjoy travel planning, so I took to Google to see what there was to do in Maui, what resort life was like, and how much the airline industry would rip us off for two plane tickets (because, really, what does the airline industry ever do except charge ridiculous amounts of money for what is, essentially, a miserable experience coupled with molestations courtesy of the TSA.)

But when it came to actually spending the money to pre-book everything I decided to hold off. Danielle and I work very closely together when it comes to our finances and I wanted her to be part of the ultimate decision making, but, still, I figured I could seduce her travel tastebuds with some palate-whetting visuals:

—a genuine Hawaiian luau
—sandy beaches
—surfing lessons
—sandy beaches
—a sunrise zipline tour
—sandy beaches

I even printed up some little flash cards of the many sights we aimed to visit.

"Is this is a joke?" she asked.

"If this is a joke," I said, "it's one of the cruelest Christmas presents ever."

"No joke."

But, no, it wasn't a joke. I can always tell how excited she is about something by how quickly it hits Facebook. In this case, I think she set a new record.

Honestly, Hawaii was never on my radar of places to go. I like the cool, damp, bleakness of places like Scotland, England, Seattle, and home. But, really, in the dead of a Vermont winter after weeks of sub-zero temperatures, even I found myself tempted by the warm shores of a tropical paradise.

I suspect this blog will become something of a travel blog over the next ten days as we explore the various sights, try the various foods, and enjoy the many majestic vistas of Maui. So stay tuned!

Keep pinchin' :-)

Developing An Attitude Of Gratitude In Your Kids

"Why is it that a two-year-old is often happier playing in the box a toy came in rather than playing with the actual toy? Why is it that children living in poverty in third-world countries seem happier and more content than kids in wealthy nations? Because neither is caught in the trap of comparisons. They don’t know what they are missing out on. They are simply grateful."

That's the idea behind Smart Money, Smart Kids, a brand-new book out by Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze. Literally, it just came out today. I think.

I remember one Christmas when I was a kid, probably eight years old, I was tearing open presents like a madman... er, boy. My stack of presents was pretty big, and was piling up so fast that I couldn't unwrap them fast enough. I was oblivious to everyone else in our small crowded living room—my cousins Nick and Danny, my aunts and uncles, my sister Tess, my parents. I couldn't think of anything else but me. Me and all those glorious presents that just kept on coming!

I don't remember being aware of Philip until my dad tapped me on the shoulder and asked me to come into the bedroom. He closed the door behind me and told me that Philip was a foster kid, just a little older than me, who had been sent to live with my aunt and uncle the day before Christmas. No one knew he was coming, so no one had gotten him any presents. I remember feeling a little embarrassed at that point by all the presents I had so greedily been diving into.

Dad made me put on my coat and boots and we drove into town looking for a store, any store, that was actually open on Christmas. When we found a little hardware/convenient store, dad took me inside and asked me to pick out a couple presents I thought Philip might like. I found a radio-controlled car and an action figure. We took the toys back to our apartment, wrapped them, and gave them to Philip.

I don't know if Philip expected to get anything for Christmas or not, but being a boy of around 10 or 11, I'm sure he was hoping for something. The look on his face when I handed him the presents was one of surprise and happiness. He had that radio-controlled car racing around the kitchen in just a few minutes.

I tell this story because I think, more often than not, we see kids on Christmas throwing temper tantrums because they didn't get what they wanted, or they didn't get enough. I tell ya, it was an eye-opening thing for me to witness a kid like Philip endure a Christmas fast while I was enjoying a Christmas feast.

In their book, Smart Money, Smart Kids, Dave and Rachel talk about raising children who are sincerely grateful for what they have. How do you teach a child to develop an attitude of gratitude? How do you show them what it is to appreciate what they've got?

I think for my kids it's going to involve taking them to a soup kitchen or homeless shelter on Christmas Eve where they can help serve the less fortunate at a time when they're getting plenty. I want to give them a visual picture to keep in mind whenever they think they don't have enough, or complain because of what they have. Because I'll tell you this, after I gave those presents to Philip and went back to my stack of gifts—which had grown considerably in the time it took my dad and I to go on our brief shopping trip—I didn't have the same greedy, gimmie-gimmie attitude. I was sort of blown away by what my dad had done, and embarrassed that I didn't see the need that he saw in Philip.

"We all have things to count as blessings, but we also have a tendency to lose our sense of awe and our sense of gratitude. Make sure your heart is full of gratitude for the blessings in your own life. Let your children witness this in you, and they will want to respond with gratitude for the blessings in their own lives." —Smart Money, Smart Kids.

What has it been like for you teaching your kids to be grateful?

Keep pinchin' :-)

New Year's Resolutions - One Week In

So, it's been a week since the new year began. Have you followed up on your resolutions? Don't answer that.

My word for 2014 is "faithfulness," and I've begun working on the different areas that I know I need to be more faithful in. I know I'm not going to reach perfection overnight, but as long as I am striving to work toward these goals I'm ok with that.

Faithfulness in our finances. Since going back to using only cash a few weeks ago I've found that it's much easier to keep within our budget, especially when it comes to our grocery budget. I also decided to take out my whole monthly grocery budget at the beginning of the month, which enables me to spend a little extra some weeks when I see some good deals, but still be aware of how much I have left to spend for the rest of the month.

Faithfulness in living a healthy lifestyle. I committed to trying to exercise on a more regular basis, especially during my overnight shifts because it helps me stay awake—not to mention that it's just plain good for me. I also bought lots of fruits and veggies this past week and have found that if I am purposeful in using them in my cooking we eat a lot more of them every day.

Faithfulness in my spiritual life. I've been making it a point to spend time in the Bible each day. I was also able to download Beth Moore's "Believing Day by Day" to read, and I've been making a point to listen to Christian radio and/or sermons when I'm doing housework.

Faithfulness in being good stewards of the homestead God has blessed us with. Not a whole lot has been done on that front, but we did spend Saturday putting away Christmas decorations, cleaning the house, shoveling the driveway, and draining the never-ending pool of water in our basement.

Faithfulness in being the wife my husband needs me to be. This week I tried to put some extra effort into picking up the house, doing the laundry, and making good meals. It's hard when I'm gone for three days straight each week, and I want my husband to eat healthy, so making sure he's cared for in that way is important to me (see amazing dinner at right). I think he appreciated my extra efforts on the home front, and that even though I kept pretty busy we still got to enjoy some quality time together ;-)

Overall it's been a good start to the new year, and hopefully by keeping my goals in the front of my mind and letting you all know how I am doing I will continue to be faithful in all I want to accomplish this year.

Keep pinchin' :-)

A Dream or a Nightmare?

For Christmas my in-laws gave me a book. Not just any book, but a book that I had been drooling over at their house this past year. It's called "The Backyard Homestead." And I titled this post "A Dream or a Nightmare?" because whether you're me or my husband a book like this could be just that.

I read this book, which is about growing our own fruits, veggies, herbs, and animals, and I think of all the possibilities we have on our four acre property. My husband looks at it and sees lots of work, and declares he doesn't want to be a farmer. While I don't want to go all "small farm" here in Bethlehem, the possibilities of a small-scale backyard homestead have been imprinted in my head, and I fear there is no going back now! Sorry honey :-/

This idea is very close to my heart, and it's not because I want to know where everything we consume was grown and how it was processed, or to make sure that we are eating the healthiest food we can, although those are all good reasons.

I want to do this because I feel like it will give me more purpose when I hopefuly in my dreams stay home someday to raise our children. It will also help keep me busy, and I believe that if done right it could also help us save a lot of money on our grocery bill when we have to feed all of the imaginary kiddos.

So I guess that is my main reason. Once I stay home our income will take a severe slashing, and one way I can help compensate for that and help provide for our family is by growing fresh fruits and veggies, and maybe a few birds, on our little homestead.

My hope is to start really small this summer, by expanding on what I did last year (which was have a HUGE garden) and learn how to better take care of the raspberry bushes, grape vines, and apple trees we have on our property. Also, I would like to start growing a few more fruit trees/bushes as I know it will be several years before most of them will begin producing. Just small stuff you see. Now to just get the hubby on board :-)

Keep Pinchin' :-)

Food for Thought: Envy After Christmas

The day after Christmas is fun as I get to scroll through my Facebook posts and see pictures and watch videos of my beloved friends and family members enjoying their Christmas mornings. (One of my closest friends posted a video of his one-year-old son discovering the joys of a new Whoopee Cushion. The hilarity that followed was enough to make anyone lol!)

As I scroll through the posts I see other friends and acquaintances tearing open gifts and sharing love and laughter. Some people have Christmas trees surrounded by mountains of presents.

For the penny pincher it can be hard not to get envious. Don't get me wrong, Dani and I had a wonderful Christmas. We shared many great gifts with each other and our family, and we never forgot the real reason for the season, which I think is a key point in preventing us from feeling jealous of those who have a lot more.

It's important to remember, too, that some of those people with mountains of presents under the tree had to acquire mountains of debt to get those gifts. They may be happy for a few moments on Christmas morning, but come January when the bills start to arrive they might not feel so festive. On the other hand, I'm sure there are many families who buy lots of presents and can afford them just fine, while others may have carefully saved throughout the year and landed lots of good deals... but that's neither here nor there.

If you find yourself feeling underwhelmed by Christmas, and perhaps a tad envious of those who have a lot more than you, I'd like to challenge you to consider just how much your heart is truly fixed on the real meaning of Christmas. It's so easy to get caught up in the shopping and the wrapping and the gifts and the craziness, and when that becomes your focus than the things of this world have taken precedence over what should be a glorious celebration of the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ.

Keep pinchin' :-)

Is It A Lack Of Faith or A Lack of Prayer? ... A Followup

On Friday, I wrote about how our finances ebb and flow in Is It A Lack of Faith or A Lack of Prayer? I had noticed that Jake and I had kind of grown lazy in asking the Lord to provide extra work and extra money for us. Whether our tight finances this month are a consequence of that or not, who can say?—but a really funny thing happened.

In my mind, I took this before the Lord. I knew Jake and I hadn't been praying very consistently for God's provision, but then within 24 hours of writing that post I received two babysitting job offers through a website where I advertise my service. I have only ever gotten one job offer from there in the past. When I told the hubs about this, he told me that he had been contacted about two photography jobs, a book illustrating job, and a graphic design job—not to mention the very generous and unexpected Christmas bonus he received from his employers.

At that time Jake had yet to read the blog post. So he read it. Then he told me to stop praying because too much extra work was coming in. :-)

How awesome is our God?! I could have whined and complained about the lack of extra income. I could have doubted that God is for us in our debt-slaying adventure, but instead I tried my best to have faith and hold on to things I know to be truth, and He completely exceeded what I would have asked for.

I don't know if this is always how God chooses to work for us, but I will choose to continue to trust in Him, no matter what happens. I will choose to have faith that He has good plans for me. I will choose to believe the truth that He is for us and not against us! Once again it's all about choices!

Keep pinchin' :-)

How to Handle a Christmas Conversation About Dave

Fortunately, Dani and I have lots of understanding friends and family, but we know there are a lot of naysayers out there who can kill one's momentum when it comes to being thrifty, money-smart, and a Dave Ramsey fan.

Dave offers some tips on how to diffuse any digs that people may take at you without getting all bent out of shape.

"The key is to talk about why you believe in having a budget and paying cash and to not make a big deal out of it," says Dave. "Say things factually. If you’ve been saving money each month of the year for Christmas and someone tells you that you can’t pay for gifts with cash, just say, 'Actually, I am—I’ve been saving all year. It really wasn’t that bad.' By being matter-of-fact, you quietly defuse their claim that it can’t be done without having an attitude. It’s no longer 'your opinion versus mine.' It’s fact—you have the proof right there in the figgy pudding. When you don’t give them ammo, they quickly run out of it."

Click here to read the entire article, How to Handle a Christmas Conversation About Dave, at his official website, www.daveramsey.com.

Falling Off The Bandwagon

Over the last couple of weeks I've realized how easy it is to start over-spending and fall off the budget bandwagon.

It started out with just spending a few extra dollars on groceries. I would think to myself, "This is ok, as long as I spend less next week. I'll still come in on budget at the end of the month. No problem!" But when you do this a second time, and then a third time, that's not good! So after over-spending three weeks in a row, I checked our monthly allocated spending plan and realized that if I was careful it would be possible to still come in on budget. But, still, I had boxed myself into a corner.

I know why this happened, too.

When Jake and I first created our budget I was taking advantage of Dave Ramsey's "cash only" system for certain things, like groceries. And I can see now why Dave recommends doing this: when you go into a grocery store with a debit card it's easy to overspend, but when you go in there with a set amount of cash there is no wiggle room whatsoever. It's one very affective way of controlling spending.

After several months of doing this—and doing it well—I decided to try doing it with the debit card. At first I did ok. Occasionally I would spend an extra dollar or two, but that was easily remedied the following week.

Then Christmas came. The month of December is always full of extra expenses—heating oil, tire changes, increased electricity, presents, extra groceries to make sweet treats... you get the idea. I've found that the more times you swipe that little plastic card the easier it is to do it again and again... and again. I even overdrew my checking account for the first time in over two years! Thankfully I have overdraft protection, so the fee was minimal.

At the end of this week we start a new monthly budget, and I plan to go back to using cash. Using cash keeps me more accountable and aware of what I have to spend. Thankfully, even though I feel like I've way overspent this month, we should be ok, but it was a close call. I am going to have to spend a lot less on groceries this coming week, or just eat up those Raman noodles sitting the cupboard, whether my husband likes it or not.

If you find yourself blowing out your budget, don't get discouraged. Try using cash, for a little while at least, until you get back on track.

Keep pinchin' :-)

Giving While Penny Pinching

One of the things my hubby and I have made a point to be faithful in is giving to our local church. Budgeting for this is really important, because it is too easy to use this money on unexpected expenses or to help balance your budget when you go a little over.

But when you budget for tithing, you're creating a plan for that money as though it were for your mortgage or your heating bill. You've set it aside for a purpose, which means there's less of a chance it will slip into thin air.

God loves a cheerful giver, and I think the proof of this is in how he gives more when he sees that you're joyfully giving what you can. Here's what I mean: It took about a year for us to realize that we weren't tithing out of the extra money that we made each month—Jake's photography jobs, my babysitting and crocheting. Once we realized that we should be giving back to God from the excess he provides, we thought and prayed about how we could do that, and, like usual, God suggested a creative way of giving that has turned out to be a lot of fun.

We've created an account in which our tithing from any excess income builds up. This money is available to us whenever we feel led to give in a way outside of our regular weekly church giving. Recently we decided to use some of the money from this account to bless a little girl through Angel Tree, an outreach through Prison Fellowship. On Tuesday I went to Toys"R"Us to find a dolly for this precious little girl, and knowing I had money in our "extra giving" account meant I didn't even have to concern myself too much with price tags. It was so much fun!

I walked up and down the aisle where all the dolly's lived, touching them, checking to see what ages they were appropriate for, until I found one that was perfect for the 18 month old girl we had selected. I bought her a couple of outfits and a bag with two bottles, a bowl, a spoon, and a fork. I admit, I splurged. And I know I'll never get to meet this little girl, but I do wish that I could be a fly on the wall of her house on Christmas morning to see her open this gift, knowing it came from her daddy who couldn't be with her this Christmas, but loved her enough to send her a gift through me. It's things like this that bring joy to my heart and keep me motivated to penny pinch so that someday we will be able to give so much more!

Keep pinchin' :-)

The Christmas Tree Dilemma

On our quest to be debt free we have found ourselves tip-toeing closer and closer to that question that every sane person secretly ponders on Christmas: "Can we really justify spending *insert insane amount of money here* on a tree that's just going to sit in our living room for a few weeks only to be tossed out?"

Last year we went with friends to Bethlehem's Rocks Estate tree farm and bought a beautiful tree for a rather pretty penny, even with a local resident discount. This year I couldn't justify the expense, but at the same time I couldn't go without having a tree.

So I came up with the brilliant plan to walk around our four tiny acres and find a tree absolutely free. A romantic walk through the snowy woods with my husband sounded like fun. And a free Christmas tree? Even better! Four minutes into our walk we were assaulted by the incessant barking of our neighbor's dog. It came bounding toward us through the woods, stopped about twenty feet away and barked. And barked. And barked. And barked. It followed us, and barked some more. Sigh. After a few minutes of "See any good trees?" "Bark!" "What?" "Bark!" "I said..." "Bark!" "...any..." "Bark!" "...trees?" we realized we weren't going to find any nicely shaped, full-looking Christmas trees that weren't 50-feet tall. So we... "Bark!" ...to... "Bark!" ...home. Happily, the previous owners of our property had begun to plant about four or five Christmas trees along the fence. Unfortunately no one had given the trees any lovin' over the past few years; they were surrounded by brambly bushes and were quite sparse and misshapen. They were better than the infamous Charlie Brown Christmas tree, but not by much. Jake took out the saw and cut one down. As we set up our tree in the living room and started decorating it, I expected the full majesty of the tree to come into being. I figured we'd just fill in the gaps with ornaments, shape the branches with clippers, and pile enough garland and lights on to make it look outstanding. After about ten minutes I realized this was not going to happen. I wanted to say, "Forget it! Let's just go buy one. What are our friends going to think when they see this tree?" But the more I thought about it, the more I fought the urge to give up and give in. It wasn't just because I didn't want to spend the money, but because I didn't want to be part of the rat race we call the "American Dream," always concerned with what the Jones' think of our house, or with what the Smith's have and we don't. I want to be more concerned with enjoying life with my fabulous husband, making memories that we will fondly look back on as we pave the way for a fun future with kiddos (who are currently just imaginary). It took a couple of days, but now I look at our crazy cylinder-shaped Christmas tree with its sparse boughs and uneven branches, and I love it! I love it because Jake and I hunted it down together, and we had fun laughing at ourselves as we put it up. I love it because we did what we thought was best for us at this time in our lives. I have every intention of purchasing a beautiful tree again some day, but for this year I'm not going to concern myself with what anyone else thinks of me. I'm just going to love what I have and I'm going to love our crazy tree! Keep pinchin' :-)

It's the Holiday Season

As far as I'm concerned it's the "most wonderful time of the year," however my husband doesn't always agree, particularly when I turn on the Christmas music in October. As the time draws nearer, with the sparkly lights and blankets of snow, it's just splendid!

As much as I love Christmas time though I can't deny that it can be a very stressful time of year. Since getting married, Jake and I have endured the trials and triumphs of juggling family visits and traveling on snow-covered roads. The stress can get out of hand if I'm not careful.

Probably the most stressful aspect of the season is the shopping - shopping, shopping, shopping - but with long lines, pushy people, and a limited window of opportunity what should be a girl's dream come true can easily turn into a nightmare. Here are some tips to making this holiday season more enjoyable for the penny pinching pro:

1. Create a budget for you holiday spending. Hopefully you have been doing this throughout the year by putting aside some money for gifts, but if not decide now what you can and cannot afford and commit to going plastic free this Christmas.

2. Limit the amount of trips to the stores. Plan ahead, make your list, and then go shopping. The less time you spend in the stores with the masses the less stressful you may find yourself, and the less you'll spend on gifts you don't really need to buy.

3. Consider how you have been gift giving and how you might want to change it. Growing up my parents had a set budget they would spend on each of us kids, which would usually amount to about 10 presents for each of us. Now just imagine with six kids in our house, that was 60 presents! Not including the gifts we got for our parents, and those that we got for each other. Now as a kid, I loved it! In fact I would have probably thrown a fit been sad if they tried to change it, but now that I'm an adult - or at least pretend to be - and am contemplating how I want to handle gift-giving with my own kids I've decided that I want to keep it simple. My husband and I have decided that maybe three gifts, each representing one of the three gifts given to Jesus from the wise men, would be a good way of not only limiting our holiday spending, but also drawing some attention to the real meaning of the season. If you don't have kids already, or they are really little, now would be the best time to change what you do for gift giving.

4. Don't be afraid to go homemade! Whether it be spending time baking together as a family or with friends, or making some of the gifts you give to others, consider how you can make the holidays a special time without breaking the bank. And at all costs, do NOT start dipping into that "emergency fund" for Christmas. Christmas is not an emergency!

5. Create traditions or keep some of your childhood traditions alive. Consider giving each other new PJ's on Christmas Eve so you look half decent great for pictures on Christmas morning or have a family Christmas movie marathon. (Both of which are things that we do. *smiles proudly*) Traditions can be so much fun, and they can give you something to look forward to continuing each year.

Hopefully these five things will help to make your holidays less stressful and more enjoyable. And don't forget what this season is all about: celebrating our Savior's birth! Make that your focus and it will be a wonderful time of year.

Let us know what you do to keep your stress level low on Christmas. Got any favorite family traditions? How do you give gifts in your family? Leave a comment below.

Keep pinchin' :-)