Breaking Free Part 4: The Things We Didn't Give Up

It's been two years since Danielle and I started down this road toward debt-free living. It's been a challenge, a fun ride, a ministry, and a blessing, all rolled into one adventure. This week we'd like to look back on our journey, share some of the intricacies of how and why we do it, and hopefully encourage you to gain some ground in your financial battle.

---

Too often Danielle and I harp on all the sacrifices we've made. No movies. No restaurants. No this. No that.

Woe is we!

Although it's the sacrifices that are the hardest, there's lots of other stuff that we DON'T sacrifice. Like Superman holding back that train, or a fly bouncing against the glass, we're determined not to surrender these things, stubbornly holding onto them in dogged determination to retain some sanity in the midst of all the sacrifices.

This is kind of an essential part to this whole journey, actually. Because you can go too far with all the penny pinching, the budgeting, and the Dave Ramsey fanfare. To really be successful—and to not go crazy—you've got to be stubborn in some areas. So here are some of the things that Dani and I have refused to give up.

(Also note that these things are different for everyone. What you chose to keep might be totally different.)

Giving

I'm a natural giver. I love blessing others, but I always wish I could give more. In the past I wouldn't hesitate buying a birthday present for someone that cost more money than I could afford. "I'll get my paycheck next week," I'd tell myself. "I'll just pay for it then." But that's not a good habit to get into. Like Dave Ramsey is fond of saying, "Live now like no one else so that tomorrow you can live and give like no one else."

So, someday, Danielle and I will have the money to "give like no one else," but for the time being we need to be a bit more conservative. Still, we like to give, to others and each other. So we have a fund for birthday presents, Christmas gifts, baby showers, weddings, and anything else that may come up. It's not a lot, but it's what we can manage for now.

Tithing

Apart from giving to others, Danielle and I believe that, first and foremost, we need to give to God. Tithing honors Him, it reminds us that everything we have comes out of His hands, and it increases our faith. We have never not tithed since the day we got married, and we intend to keep it that way. The missed blessings of not tithing aren't worth the risk.

For a more detailed look at tithing in the midst of paying off debt, see our post: Is It Ok To Stop Tithing To Pay Off Debt?

Investing in My Photography

As much personal enjoyment as I get out of my craft, photography can be a big money earner too. I can make more money shooting one wedding than I do in a week at my day job. In our rural area of the country, however, it's hard to keep photography work steadily coming in.

Still, in order to make money, we need to spend money, which is why 50% of all money earned through my photography goes into a fund to maintain equipment, buy new lenses and filters, and market my services.

Healthy Living

When we first got married Danielle thought we could survive on a $40 grocery budget.

When you're done laughing I'll continue.

Finished?

Ok.

The problem was she didn't know how much a 30-year-old man with a daily calorie intake of 2,000 would need to eat. And when that number goes to 2,750 during workout periods that can amount to a whole heckofalot of food. Since Danielle started getting into all this health and fitness stuff through Beachbody.com she found that she needed more food to fuel her body as well, not to mention the fact that healthy food simply costs more money.

So over the last two years we've upped the grocery budget twice. We've decided that even though we can eat more cheaply, the types of food we'd be eating aren't worth it. Our physical livelihood and general health are more important than a few extra dollars. So we're making the investment in healthier living, and so far it's been worth it.

Pocket Money

I need my pocket money.

No. You don't understand. I neeeeeeeeeeed my pocket money.

I would lose my mind if I didn't have some dollars, unencumbered by some budgetary requirement, to spend at my leisure. So both Danielle and I get a little money every week to spend however we want. It's not much, but it helps make the rest of the budget feel doable.

For all the other spenders out there, I can't stress enough how much easier budgeting is when there's a little money set aside just for you. It does wonders for your mental health, and it actually helps keep the whole budget on track because without that little bit of "fun cash" one might be tempted to dip into other areas of the budget.

No matter where you are in this process, it's helpful to remember that this is only for a season. Danielle and I know that even though we're dramatically scaling back in many areas, it's not going to last forever. Our spending habits and the sacrifices we make are going to look dramatically different when we're debt free!

So what things have you been stubbornly refusing to give up? Or is your budget too tight? If so, what things do you think you could introduce—like tithing or pocket money—that might give you a little bit of your sanity back?

Other posts in this series:
Part 1: My Personal Wake-Up Call
Part 2: How To See Some Hope
Part 3: Overcoming the Comparison Trap

Being Responsible Means Learning To Say The "N" Word... A Lot

Yesterday I witnessed a man having his car repossessed. I wasn't really trying to eavesdrop, but it was hard not to with the man yelling at what I assumed was the dealership. He asked what he needed to do to keep his car, listened, then said that he could pay them tomorrow.

And, you know, that sorta stuck with me.

I've never had a car repossessed, and I don't even know anyone who has, so I'm no expert on what's involved, but I think it happens when you have fallen too far behind on making your vehicle payments. If that's true, I can't help but wonder why the man didn't at least make a partial payment at times, something that might indicate that he was at least making an effort. I mean, if he could really pay the dealership "tomorrow," like I heard him yelling, why didn't he pay a little something sooner?

I'm speculating, I know, and I hope it doesn't sound like I'm passing judgement because I'm the first to admit I'm not perfect with this budgeting stuff either, but with all that Jake and I have learned through Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University it's sometimes difficult to understand the dire financial straights some people could avoid by just being a little more responsible.

Jake and I would prefer to owe no man anything financially, but in cases where that isn't possible—AKA our mortgage—we at least try to be responsible about it. When the bank said we could afford an (astronomical dollar amount) house, we instead opted to buy one that cost a fraction of that (astronomical dollar amount) because we felt we could manage the payments better. Whenever we take on a new bill we make sure it's something we can fit into the budget. We try to be smart about where we put our money.

Does this mean that we probably do without things that many people think are essentials? YES! Does this mean we resist buying new cars and drive older ones because we own them? YES! Does this mean we may choose not to eat out unless we have a gift card or save our personal spending money? YES! Does this mean we only update our wardrobes when necessary, and not when fashion trends try to lure us into buying for the sake of buying? Unfortunately YES!

These are by no means easy decisions. Well, I mean, they are. And they aren't. Jake and I know what we earn per month. We know what our bills are per month. We know we can't spend more per month than what we earn or we'll be in trouble. We know what kind of future we want, and the kinds of things we want our children to have. But in spite of all we know about our circumstances, it doesn't always mean that being fiscally responsible is easy. In fact sometimes it's downright hard.

Would we love to splurge more than we currently do? YES! Would we love to buy that Mustang Jake has always wanted? YES! Would we like to eat out whenever it is convenient for us? YES!
But instead of saying, "YES!" to everything, we use the dreaded "No" word. No.

I don't want to live like that man, screaming on the telephone while a tow truck loaded his vehicle to be returned to the dealership. I want to learn to be content with what I have and be a good steward of what has been given to me.

Are there things you are saying "No!" to right now that you really wish you could say "YES!" to instead? Tell us about it in the comments below so we can commiserate and encourage each other on this journey to be responsible adults.

Keep pinchin' ;-)

Seven Things I Don't Really Need: Part 2

Yesterday, I recapped Dave Ramsey's "Buyer Beware" lesson from Financial Peace University, which was all about how to guard ourselves from clever advertisers who try to entice us into buying tons of products we don't really need. (Click here to read about it if you're awesome.)

I gave you Dave's list of seven common things people buy that they don't really need, and I promised to give you mine. So, without further ado, here are the seven things that Jacob Grant finds difficult to resist.

1. Eating out. It's not just the food I like, but the experience of going to a restaurant, being served, and not having to do the dishes. I love being given a menu and examining all the various foods to eat, whereas if I stay home and open my fridge, my options are a little less varied. Dani and I have decided not to spend a lot of money on restaurants right now and instead pour every dollar we can into paying off our mortgage. The sacrifice has been... unpalatable.


2. Movies. I'm a movie nut. I love watching movies. I love collecting movies. When it comes to buying my favorite flicks on blu-ray I prefer to get my hands on whatever multi-disc, specially-packaged, extended director's cut with tons of special features that I can. I've had to significantly cut down the number of movies I purchase, which means I'm much more careful about which ones I buy.


3. Coffee. I'm not a huge coffee drinker, but I do enjoy specialty lattes and those warm, minty drinks that Dunkin' Donuts serves up at Christmas time. I splurge every now and then, but not as often as I'd like.


4. A super-powered cell phone. I think, today, cell phones do for a person's prestige that luxury cars did twenty years ago. Before the cell phone, a car was one of the best ways to identify someone's status in society, but today I think the cell phone has taken over. Nowadays people walk around with their cell phones out, texting or browsing the web, just to show off. I had a smart phone once. I loved it! It was a cool little device, but all the bells and whistles that it provided just weren't worth what it was doing to my wallet. And I didn't need a phone threatening to augment my ego.


5. Jackets. My wife has come to believe that jackets are to guys what shoes are to women. I didn't realize this until I got married and starting asking my guy friends about their inclinations toward jackets and the general consensus was, yeah, guys dig jackets—like, a lot. It's silly, but whenever I see a cool jacket I get this little surge of impulse spending within me.


6. Batman stuff. As much as I dig movie stuff, I dig Batman stuff even more. For the past 10 years or so I've been working on a collection of 1:6 scale action figures. I have several Batmen and a large section of his rogues gallery, but there's so much more! Every now and then I scout out some prices and add a figure to the wish list, but it's been a while since I've actually purchased one.


7. Junk food. Ooh-ho! There's nothing I like more than buying a package of Oreo cookies along with a new blu-ray and throwing myself down on the couch for some good ol' movie-watching-Oreo-dunkin'-R&R. Junk food is not only bad for my wallet, but bad for my physical well-being, but still, even that double-edged sword of logic doesn't keep me from indulging every now and then.

So, now that I've aired my dirty laundry, what's yours? What products do you easily succumb to purchasing?

Keep pinchin' :-)

It's OK to Reward Your Hard Work

Back in the fall, Dani and I decided to axe our restaurant budget. We enjoy the pleasure of eating out just as much as the next person, but in our effort to pay down our debt we decided that we could live without going to restaurants for a little while. In doing so, we've saved about $60 a month, or more. That's about $720 a year, which is about one whole mortgage payment for us.

We did our taxes this month—a task I gladly let my more math efficient wife handle—and, though most of our return is going toward the mortgage, we decided to take some of it and treat ourselves to a new restaurant in town. When we got the bill we remembered why we don't go out to restaurants very often, but the momentary splurge was worth it. The restaurant was great. The food was delicious. And we had a good time.

It was a good reminder to us both not to be too stringent when it comes to this whole penny pinching lifestyle. There are times when you've got to open the wallet and just enjoy yourself. There's nothing undisciplined about that. In fact, it's good practice.

In week two of Financial Peace University, Dave Ramsey's daughter, Rachel Cruze, gives a great example of how NOT to be too strict when it comes to your financial rules. Rachel describes a woman who came up to her after a seminar and told her how well her son had been doing saving money. Apparently this 10-year-old boy had saved up $300 of his own money to buy a game system. Unfortunately when they went to the store to purchase the game system, the boy had forgotten about tax. The total came to more than he could afford. So what did the parents do? They walked out of the store.

Rachel says the parents took some of what they had learned in Financial Peace University far too literally.

"I thought, 'Your 10 year old saved up $300?! You pay the tax!'" Rachel says on the week two DVD. "So, remember parents, your little kids don't have to be soldiers marching around. ... Too many rules is just legalistic, but too much grace is enabling."

Just like there's no excuse to go overboard with your spending, there's no reason to go overboard when it comes to saving. Don't get me wrong, if you're neck-deep in debt you've got to fight for your life to get out of it, but do take time to smell the roses... or try out a good restaurant.

Keep pinchin' :-)

When You Want To Throw A Tantrum

Last week I wrote about how I don't cry at the grocery store anymore, and though that is true I said nothing about throwing a tantrum! Haha!

Today I went to get a "few things" and yet it still came out to almost my whole weekly budget, yet I felt like I walked away with so little. So what's a girl to do? BAKE and COOK! It's a simple solution to making your husband believe there really is food in your house.

Here are a couple of recipes for you that have been stamped with the hubster's approval:

Hot Dog or Hamburger Rolls

Ingredients:

• 1 cup milk
• 1/2 cup water
• 1/4 cup butter
• 4 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 tablespoon of instant yeast
• 2 tablespoons white sugar
• 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
• 1 egg

Directions:

• In a small bowl, heat milk, water and butter in the microwave for about a minute, or until butter is melted and you can place your finger in the mixture without feeling like you would burn yourself.
• In a large bowl, mix together 1 3/4 cup flour, yeast, sugar and salt. Mix milk mixture into flour mixture, and then mix in egg. Stir in the remaining flour a 1/2 cup at a time, beating well after each addition. When the dough has pulled together, turn it out onto a lightly floured surface, and knead until smooth and elastic, about 8 minutes. Or you can make it in your KitchenAid mixer and knead for a couple of minutes.
• Place dough in greased bowl, cover and let rise in your cold oven for one hour.
• Divide dough into 12 equal pieces. Shape into smooth balls, and place on a greased baking sheet. Flatten slightly. Cover, and let rise for another hour in the oven. Take out of the oven to preheat and brush egg yolk or melted butter on top.
• Bake at 400 degrees F for 10 to 12 minutes, or until golden brown.
• For Hot Dog Buns: Make sure to roll the dough out into a rectangle, and then roll dough up along the long side. Pinch ends to seal shut. This will more than double in size when you let them rise for an hour, so make them very skinny, but long.

I chose to make both hot dog and hamburger rolls out of one batch—because there are only two of us—and I came up with six hot dog rolls and 10 hamburger rolls. 

Then I made yummy chewy granola bars:

No-Bake Chewy Granola Bars

Ingredients:

• 2 cups quick cooking oats 
• 1 C rice crispy cereal
• 1/4 C shredded coconut
• 1/4 C butter
• 1/4 C honey 
• 1/2 C brown sugar
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp vanilla
• 2 tbs peanut butter
• 1/2 C mini chocolate chips

Directions:

• In a large mixing bowl, mix together the oats, cereal and coconut. Set a small saucepan over medium high heat and melt the butter. Add the honey, brown sugar and salt to the melted butter. Stir together then leave it alone as it comes to a boil. Once the boil has reached all the way around the edges of the pan, begin timing. Allow this mixture to boil for 2 minutes and 15 seconds. During this time, you may need to turn the heat down a bit so it doesn't overflow, but be sure it keeps boiling.
• Add the vanilla and peanut butter then pour the mixture over the oats, using a rubber spatula to get all the sugar mixture out of the pan. Mix the ingredients together until the oats are completely coated. Add in chocolate chips then press very firmly into a lightly greased 9x13" pan. If you like your bars thicker, you can use a smaller pan. If you do not press firmly enough, the bars will fall apart when you eat them. Place them in the fridge for 20 minutes then cut to size and wrap individually if you want.

For more variations of this recipe and to see the original check out My Kitchen Escapades.

Keep pinchin' :-)

That Great Feeling When A Vacation Doesn't Follow You Home

One of the reasons I brought some debt into our marriage was because of some of the extravagant plans I had made for our honeymoon. I was eager to impress my new bride and so I scheduled some hotel reservations that cost a little bit more than I should've spent.

I was also spending some money I had earned through some photography jobs before I had actually earned it. As luck would have it, one of those photography jobs fell through, and as a result I got stuck with a larger credit card bill than I was hoping for. I ended up bringing more debt into our marriage.

Plus, it wasn't all that pleasant when I was on our honeymoon to pull out the credit card and wrack up more debt, knowing that even though I was making life fun for the moment, it was going to be hell later on.

"Vacations would be completely different if they didn't follow you home," is something Dave Ramsey said this week during Financial Peace University.

I remember hearing this the first time we took the course last year. Dave advocated for saving your money and paying for a vacation out of your own pocket, not taking out a loan or using a credit card.

This prompted Dani and I to establish a vacation budget. We began setting aside a little bit of money every month until we had a pretty good chunk of change. Then, this past summer, we loaded up the car and went camping at Old Orchard Beach in Maine. It was a relatively cheap vacation—I don't even think we used half of our vacation money—but it was such a different experience than our honeymoon because this time the vacation didn't follow us home.

I think Dave's right about going back to old-school ways of doing things. All these cool new "book now, pay later" vacation schemes are just ripping people off. You don't need a loan or a larger credit limit to have a good vacation. You need some patience and a little self-discipline. It worked for our grandparents. I'm sure it can work for us too.

Keep pinchin' :-)

Are Credit Cards REALLY That Bad?

I'm just going to go ahead and let the cat out of the bag: Dani and I have a credit card.

"But Jake, doesn't that violate Dave Ramsey's Commandments about financial freedom?!"

Probably, but, then again—and here's the second cat out of the bag—I don't necessarily agree with absolutely everything Dave Ramsey says.

"Heresy!"

Ok, ok. Just put the torch and pitchfork down for a minute while I explain.

Dave Ramsey is absolutely right when he rants about how easily credit card usage can land people in debt. Let's say you take a vacation and you decide it's easier just to put everything on the credit card. You've got money to cover the expenses in your bank account, so it's no problem to pay everything off as soon as you get home, but what if tragedy strikes? What if you need a new car or have a medical emergency and suddenly you can't afford to meet the monthly credit card payments? One missed payment and you're in the hole 30% or more! Besides, if you've got the money in your bank account to pay for everything, why the heck are you using a credit card in the first place?!

The practice of using credit cards is just plain dangerous, and that danger is multiplied exponentially if you don't have money in your bank account to cover the expenses, which is just plain stupid, as Dave would say.

"Responsible use of a credit card does not exist," Dave says in this article The Truth About Credit Card Debt. "There is no positive side to credit card use. You will spend more if you use credit cards. Even by paying the bills on time, you are not beating the system!"

Though I wholeheartedly agree with his sentiment, I think Dave can be a little too apocalyptic when talking about credit card usage.

Last Christmas, our Discover card ran a three month cash-back program where any time we used the credit card for gas or online shopping we got some cash back. In three months we earned $80 in cash back bonuses. We always paid the credit card off within a couple days of making a purchase, we never spent a cent on interest, and that $80 went a long way to helping with our Christmas shopping that year. So is there really no responsible way to use a credit card? I think maybe there is, but it takes a great deal of discipline to do so.

According to the American Bankers' Association, the average family today carries $8,000 in credit card debt. That is just shocking, and it is not where God wants us to be financially. A study of credit card use at McDonald's found that people spent 47% more when using credit cards instead of cash—forty-seven percent more! Why? Because the great majority of people don't comprehend that when they flip a tiny little plastic card onto the check-out counter they are, ultimately, spending their own hard-earned money, and probably more of it. It just doesn't compute with them. This is why Dave advocates for the "cash only system." Because when you're spending your cash, out of your wallet, it's easier for your brain to comprehend that "Hey, this is my money, and it's leaving me. Oh my!"

Dani and I have used our Discover card maybe three times in the last twelve months, but each time it is to take advantage of a special offer. It's never in huge amounts, and we always pay it off within a couple days.

Personal finance is 80% behavior. If you find that your credit card is getting you in trouble, get rid of it! Use common sense. Don't spend money you don't have.

Keep pinchin' :-)

With Time and Discipline

Saving money is not natural. At least not for someone like me who has a deeply engrained love of stuff. I don't consider myself materialistic, but I do enjoy buying stuff. It doesn't help that I have an innate inability to understand math. Long story short: money flows through my fingers like water over rocks.

So when it comes to saving money I think I had more of an uphill battle than my wife did. I had to not just learn the spending habits taught through Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University, but I had to unlearn the spending habits I had taught myself through years of irresponsibility. And believe me, I didn't want to. At the mere mention of making a budget I would feel ill. But I knew that through time and discipline it would work. How did I know that?

Because of video games.

Video gaming is something I actually gave up about five years ago, and believe me, THAT wasn't easy either! I loved video games. I had an X-Box, a Playstation, and tons of games. I was that gamer who had to play every game to 100 percent completion. I would stay up late playing because I couldn't stop, and consequently I'd oversleep and be late for work. Video games were destroying my productivity.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not condemning video games, nor am I condemning video gamers, because I know plenty of people who game for an hour and stop and go to bed. For them it's that simple. But it wasn't for me.

So I gave it up—got rid of my game systems and all my games—which was one of the hardest decisions I ever made. For about a year I regretted it. But something interesting began to happen. I started finding new hobbies. I started being more productive. I started meeting new people. I met a girlfriend—astounding!—and we eventually got married. And today I don't miss video gaming. In fact someone gave us an X-Box this past summer and I've barely touched it. I don't have time for it, but more importantly I've found that my personal likes have shifted. Video games just aren't my thing anymore. Through time and discipline I was able to change my feelings about something that was detrimental to my life.

When it comes to finances, the same strategy applies. You need time and you need discipline. Changing my spending habits drove me nuts at first because when all the new blu-ray movies came out on Tuesday I couldn't go buy them all! But here's what happened instead. I started seeing results in our budget. I started seeing that debt go down and our savings go up. And, I got to tell you, that feeling was better than going into Walmart to buy the latest Batman movie. Through time and discipline I was able to see the big picture. Through time and discipline I was able to change, not only my spending habits, but how I feel about money.

So if this mathematically-challenged, free-spirited geek can learn to manage money better than any monkey with a proper budget can too! So now that you've got no excuse, what are you waiting for?

Keep pinchin' :-)
Jake