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Wednesday, January 14, 2015

The Plans He Has For Me

The plans God has for me
It's a strange feeling to describe, when God speaks to you, isn't it? It's like a thought, or an idea, something brilliant, that cuts through all the confusion and anxiety and stress of a single moment and hits you right in the heart, but you just absolutely, unequivocally know that it didn't come from you. That's what happened to me on Jan. 6.

These last few months have been a crazy blur for Danielle and I. I lost my full-time graphic design job back in the fall, and picked up work with my uncle's construction business and as a seasonal driver for UPS.

Meanwhile, the wife and I are trying to sell our house in Bethlehem, NH, but, as anyone who has ever had anything to do with the real estate business can tell you, things are moving veeeeeeery sloooooowly. In the meantime we've moved in with my Grandma.

Oh, and Danielle quit her job. She worked a high-burnout shift at a high-burnout job in the field of adult mental health, so it was no surprise that she got burned out. Furthermore, since the move to Grandma's her job had become a 50 minute commute. Danielle practically begged me to let her quit. She's got a part-time baby-sitting gig now, but it's just as uncertain as my work future.

Uncertainty. That seems to be the word dominating our lives at the moment. Our jobs are uncertain. The sale of our house is uncertain. Our future is uncertain. It's kinda nerve-wracking.

Last week while I was driving a route during my seasonal UPS job on a very cold, blustery, slippery winter road I felt a panic rising in my chest as I was thinking about all the uncertainty in our lives. I started getting depressed, even angry. I mean, there wasn't even the slightest indication of what I should do next—where I should look for a job, how to get our house sold, whether we should do this or that. There was nothing on the horizon of our future except stress and uncertainty.

I started praying, and I asked God for a glimpse of His plan, some hope, something to keep me going, something to give me some idea of what we should go next. His answer cut through my brain in a voice that wasn't my own: "I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and future." (Jeremiah 29:11) I was actually startled by this because I knew this answer had come from somewhere beyond myself. The voice in my head wasn't mine. It was a reminder that God has nothing but my best interests at heart. Wherever I'm headed, whatever happens next, it's coming from Him and it will be good.

But God wasn't done speaking to me.

That night when I finished my route, my boss pulled me into his office to go over my performance. He said the company wanted me to come back this summer to cover routes while other drivers were on vacation. It would be a full time position lasting June-through-September. There would be a month off and then the holiday driving job would start again in November. It's not a guarantee, but it would keep me within the company and possibly lead to more steady employment down the road.

It wasn't much, but it was hope.

It was an answer to a very simple, desperate prayer.

What about you? Can you recall a time when God's voice cut through the noise and pierced you with Truth?

Keep pinchin' :-)

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