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Friday, December 12, 2014

Grandpa: Remembering The Non-Regrets

Today marks two years since my Grandpa passed away. He was my dad's dad, a man I really looked up to, a grandfather who never really stopped fathering. He was a World War II veteran, and, like many of that generation, was an old-fashioned strong and silent type, but his quiet often spoke volumes.

Over this past year I've had to challenge myself not to dwell on the regrets I have about my relationship with him. It's easy to wish that I had spent more time with him or said different things or acted differently. But after a while, dwelling on these regrets just wears me down. I realized they were actually dishonoring to his memory.

So whenever I catch my thoughts wandering in that direction, I steer them a different way, into the "non-regrets." These are some of the things I'm glad I had the chance to enjoy with Grandpa while he was here.

Getting Our Ears Lowered

I don't regret going with him to get my haircut, or, as he called it, "getting my ears lowered." When I was little, maybe 5 or 6, Grandpa started a once a month tradition with me of going to get our haircut at a local barbershop. (This was before "styling salons" were popular... not that Grandpa would ever go to one.) I was scared of the barber the first time we went, but Grandpa bought me a Superman action figure when it was all done because he thought I was brave. We continued getting our hair cut together well into my teens.

Staying On Par

I don't regret all those years of golfing with him. Now, you've got to understand, Grandpa loved to golf. He'd be out on that golf course rain, snow, hurricane... always in competition with himself, challenging himself to get better so he could eventually beat his brother, Russell. I loved the long drives up to the golf course with him, enjoying a steamed hot dog in the club house afterward, and never once being able to beat him. He was never big on conversation, but I remember one day during the ride up to the golf course he give me some advice on women. "Treat 'um right," he said.

Full House

I don't regret living with my grandparents. When I moved in with them in my mid-twenties it was an opportunity to see Grandpa every day and get to know him in a whole new way. The man I saw day in and day out was consistent, optimistic, brave, and loving. I never saw him show anything but love and great respect to my Grandma. I never saw him give anything less than a warm welcome to anyone who walked into his house. Despite the illness he faced in the last few years of his life, I never saw him handle it like anything less than a champ.

When I Said "I Do"

I don't regret having Grandpa at my wedding. He passed away six months later, but the photo I have of him with me and my wife at our wedding reception is the last photo I have of us together, and I'm so glad that I was able to get my act together and settle down with a beautiful young bride before he passed away. He always wanted me to find a good woman. In fact, it seemed to perplex him that I was in my thirties and still hadn't found one to settle down with. So on my wedding day, I know I made him proud.


Friday, October 31, 2014

The Data Shows: Daylight Saving Time Is Asinine

It's always been my personal belief that Daylight Saving Time is stupid. Turns out I was right. Turns out that aside from increasing risk of heart attack, providing adverse mental health in some people, screwing with national and international communication, mixing up global transportation patterns, frustrating farmers, complicating business transactions, and ruining my life twice a year, the only positive thing about DST is that at one point in history it didn't exist.

When The Dumb Began

DST has been used for about 100 years, although its genesis is credited to Benjamin Franklin, according to www.timeanddate.com. Franklin proposed the idea—although a little jokingly—to economize the use of candles by getting people out of bed earlier in the morning, making use of the natural morning light. The idea was never implemented in his lifetime because people didn't take it seriously.

It wasn't until 1895 that a New Zealand entomologist (bug-collector) by the name of George Vernon realized that his love affair with bugs could last longer every day if he had more daylight hours to play with. He proposed a two hour time shift instead of the one that we grudgingly endure today.

This idea was picked up by another genius, William Willett, whose motivation for lobbying DST was his growing aggravation that dusk kept cutting short his after hours game of golf.

That's right, folks. Golf.

It wasn't until World War I that this idea began to catch on. While Europe did its best to commit genocide the west thought DST would be a great way to save energy during war time. DST wasn't observed again until WWII and was officially adopted in the US in 1967.

The "Energy Conservation" Myth

Energy conservation has long been touted as one of the many reasons for DST to remain in effect (though just how much energy it saves has never been proven), but even if DST did, at one point, help save energy, energy consumption has changed greatly since the days of coke stoves and steam engines. In a 24/7 global economy DST no longer serves its purpose.

Most modern studies of DST show little to no benefit and/or reason for it in regards to energy conservation.

What The Facts Show 


  • The National Research Council of Canada issued a report in 2008 that indicated fuel consumption actually rises during DST because "…with an extra hour of daylight in the evening people tend to go out more."

  • One of the major backers of legislation to keep DST in effect is 7-Eleven, ostensibly to allow the good children of America more time to go out and buy a torso-sized Slurpie. Obesity, folks. DST contributes to obesity.

  • When Indiana made DST mandatory in 2006, Dr. Matthew Kotchen examined several million monthly meter readings from a three year period. He found that having the entire state switch to DST each year, rather than remain on Standard Time, cost Indiana households an additional $8.6 million in electricity bills.

  • Arizona does not recognize DST. They tried it for one year in the 1960s, but there was so much negative reaction that they never tried it again. Some also said that without DST, the state still managed to save heating and cooling energy in the summer (northern hemisphere) months.

  • Kazakhstan abolished DST in 2005, citing negative health effects on more than 51 percent of its population.

  • Farmers, who must wake with the sun no matter what time the clock says, are greatly inconvenienced by having to change their schedules to market their crops to businesses observing DST and therefore generally oppose it. (www.standardtime.com)

  • In 2008 The Wall Street Journal declared: "Daylight Saving Wastes Energy," and cited Dr. Kotchen's report as well as others.


The "Circadian Rhythm"

Health therapist Shawn Kirby says the negative health repercussions of DST can last for weeks in some people. He says the human body's physical and mental behavioral swings caused by day/night changes and sleep patterns—known as the Circadian Rhythm—is essential to a person's mental health and balanced stress levels. This natural rhythm within our own bodies connects us to the world while DST routinely interrupts it.

"Suicides in men and heart attacks were both found to significantly spike with the 'Spring Forward,'" Kirby says.

In Closing

Even apart from the data, DST shows no reasons to exist. I mean, "time," as we know it, is an artificial construction, measured only by agreed-upon convention. The only purpose of measuring time with a clock is to coordinate action. The actual numbers on a clock don't matter; the clock says whatever we, as a society, agree that it should say. On a global scale observing DST completely destroys the original purpose for which time and the clock were created—some countries observe it; some don't. As a result world time becomes confusing. While observing DST, time zones get screwed up; all clocks and electronic devices must be changed, or programmed to run functions that cause the change. This massive, mostly-computerized switchover inconveniences millions of businesses and individuals every year. DST interrupts what is, otherwise, a smoothly operating convention of coordinating global actions.

Let's face it, DST is an outdated, onerous, ridiculous, asinine "illusion." It is unneeded, unwanted, and pointless. If you really need an extra hour of daylight to play gulf or hunt bugs, GET UP AN HOUR EARLIER!

Stop the madness of pointlessly changing time twice a year. End Daylight Saving Time! Sign the petition at www.standardtime.com.

Friday, September 26, 2014

Christianity To Atheism - It's A Shorter Step Than You Think

Dani and I have begun leading a Faith Group in our new home and we had our first meeting this week. Most of it was a meet and greet with some discussion about my vision for the group as well as input from other member's about what they hoped to get from the group.

Then we had some Bible study.

I had prepared a brief lesson based on something that had been discussed in Sunday School a couple weeks ago, and again in Youth Group, about the origin of evil. As I was contemplating this, it struck me how essential it is for Christians to have a proper view of the origin of evil.

What do YOU believe about the origin of evil? The most common beliefs include:

  1. There is no such thing as evil. Evil is an illusion.
  2. Evil has always co-existed alongside good.
  3. In the beginning there was God, and God created evil along with everything else.
  4. Evil is the absence of good. God created all things good, but allowed his creatures to choose non-good.

I think we can strike the first one off the list pretty easily. I know there are many people who deny the existence of evil, but I can't imagine this belief being too deeply rooted in someone who isn't delusional. A brief glimpse at the atrocities in our world should be evidence enough that there are some truly evil things that happen. Moreover, the Bible is filled with passages warning us against the evils of, not just this world, but of the unseen world (1 Peter 5:8, Ephesians 6:12).

The second one is also false—evil has not always been around. God is Eternal. God is good. Before the creation of the world, before the creation of the heavens and angels, there was only God. Therefore evil has not—could not—always co-existed with him.

Did God create evil? No. Scripture says that when God finished His creation He saw everything and declared it "very good" (Genesis 1:31). Many Scriptures affirm that God is not the author of evil (James 1:13, 1 John 1:5, 1 Corinthians 14:33). The sovereignty of God gives him full control over evil circumstances, but even these He orchestrates for good.

But this is where some skewed thinking can dramatically alter our beliefs.

If we believe that God created evil, or that He negligently allows evil to happen, then we run the risk of believing that He isn't the loving, gracious, good God the Bible says He is. And casting doubt on the character of God casts doubt on our belief that He is even real. When we allow school shootings and terrorist bombings and sickness and death to call into question God's goodness, it's easy to see how a Christian could just throw up his hands and say, "How could a good God let this happen?! I've had it with God!" Suddenly the path to atheism isn't so far away.

But what if we look at it this way: evil is the absence of God.

Think about this: what was there before God created the world? Was there darkness? No. There was nothing. Prior to the creation of the world darkness had no definition. Then God created light, and suddenly darkness had a name, and it is defined as the absence of light.

We were created to have a relationship with God. He loves us more dearly than we could ever imagine, and He wants our love in return, but such a relationship is impossible without choice. As such, at the moment of creation, God gave mankind the ability to choose or reject Him. When we choose Him we are bathed in the light of his mercy, his love, his goodness, but when we reject Him it's like turning off the light in our bedroom, closing the door, and pulling the shades, surrounding ourselves in darkness. Evil.

It is helpful, I think, to understand that evil is not itself a thing created. Evil is neither substance, being, spirit, nor matter. So it is technically not proper to think of evil as something that was created. Evil is simply a lack of moral perfection in a fallen creature.

It should come as no surprise then to see evil increasing on the earth. We've kicked God out of our schools. We've taken the 10 Commandments out of our court houses. Every day there are stories of people getting in trouble for praying at work, of athletes getting called-out for bending on their knees after a touchdown, of Christian-themed television and radio programs getting banned from the airwaves. If evil is the absence of God, it's no wonder why our world is so wicked.

This should radically change our view of God. When we understand that evil is the absence of God our immediate reaction should be to run to Him. And when evil strikes our lives as a consequence of man's choices, our reaction shouldn't be to blame God for all of our woes, but to seek Him even more fervently.

God is certainly sovereign over evil. There's a sense in which it is proper even to say that evil is part of His eternal decree. He planned for it. It did not take Him by surprise. It is not an interruption of His eternal plan. He declared the end from the beginning, and He is still working all things for His good pleasure (Isaiah 46:9-10).

But God's role with regard to evil is never as its author. He simply permits evil agents to work, then overrules evil for His own wise and holy ends. Ultimately He is able to make all things, including all the fruits of all the evil of all time, work together for a greater good (Romans 8:28).

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

How Financial Stress Can Lead To The "D" Word

How Financial Stress Can Lead To The "D" Word
Jake and I were recently talking about how hard our first two years of marriage were, specifically the first year. We have publicly stated before that had we not taken Financial Peace University, we may not be married today. That statement is not something I am proud of, but it is also not much of an exaggeration!

Debt, finances, and no real money-management plan can cause a lot of stress on a relationship, and when that relationship is fairly new that stress can be hard to bear!

I remember there were times when we would just walk away from an argument and not speak because frustration, misunderstandings, and hurt had caused both of us real pain that we didn't know how to communicate.

Even after we started budgeting there were times that our financial meetings ended with me in tears and the hubby frustrated that we still weren't on the same page or that our money didn't seem to be doing what we wanted it to.

We had made a promise to each other to never mention divorce, not even jokingly. It is a word we just don't want in our vocabulary. Still, in the midst of those first couple years, we both contemplated how we were ever going to make this marriage work, and whether or not we even wanted to.

Fast forward to where we are now.

This summer has been amazing, not that our marriage still hasn't had its challenges, but because we've become more united in our goals. We've begun to cement as a team with a single vision of where we want to go with our finances, our family, with God.

When we decided to sell our house it was a huge relief to both of us. After living there for almost two years we realized that it was way more house than we needed, more work than we could handle, and really not in the location we wanted to be in. So, a few weeks ago, we packed up our bags and moved in with Jake's beautiful grandmother, one of the sweetest ladies you'll ever meet. The situation is mutually beneficial for all of us because having us there at the house helps Grandma and also gives us some time to save some money and invest a little more time in finding our dream home.

Some may consider moving in with family a step back, but for us it has been freeing. I don't completely regret buying our big old homestead because while we were living there we learned a lot about what we really want in a home, what we really need, and where we want to be.

The weirdest part about all of this, however, is that even though we're probably facing more stress than ever right now—with trying to sell the house, with Jake possibly losing his job soon—we're dealing with it much better than we would have a couple years ago. Instead of all this stress driving a wedge between us it has become something we can come together about, praying and trusting that God has a plan in it all, and being thankful that we do have that 3-6 months savings set aside for these uncertain moments in life.

I think the reason we are both so passionate about Financial Peace University is because of how it helped not only our finances but our marriage.

If you're facing marital problems, won't you let us pray for you? Click the contact button above. And if you'd like more information about Financial Peace University, ask us!

Keep pinchin'

Monday, September 15, 2014

Tolkien's King Theoden And Every Believer's Dream

King Theoden of Rohan,
an artist's depiction.
Sorry, but this blog is going to be completely self-indulgent.

I just finished watching my way through Peter Jackson's The Lord of the Rings trilogy (the extended versions, of course, because how else could one watch them?) and when I got to King Theoden's death scene in The Return of the King, like always, I cried. Call me a nerd. Call me a softy. I don't care. Theoden's death is one of the most compelling and poignant death scenes put on film in a long time, partly because his character has such a dramatic and satisfying arch.

King Theoden is easily my favorite character—in the movies and the books—and he isn't even a central character. He is pivotal in the ultimate victory of good over evil, but there's still more happening with King Theoden than meets the eye.

For those of you unfamiliar with the story, let me paint a brief picture for you of King Theoden and why he is everything you should strive to be.

The seventeenth King of Rohan, Theoden was slowly deceived by his chief advisor Grima (or Wormtongue, as most others called him) into serving the evil wizard Saruman. By the time we meet Theoden in book two, The Two Towers, he is a shriveled old man, a puppet of Grima, and an unfortunate servant of Saruman. The story hinges on Theoden successfully shaking off the chains that Grima had placed around his soul and leading his people to war against the evil wizard.

"Dark have been my dreams of late," Theoden says when he finally awakens from Grima's spells.

I think most people shrug off the importance of Theoden's role in the story because he doesn't start off as a very interesting character. When we first meet him, he's not heroic. He's not handsome or chivalrous. He's a man who has been duped into working for the enemy. He's indifferent. A prisoner. Certainly, not the most inspiring hero.

But I think, of all the people in Tolkien's tale, Theoden is the one who most accurately represents humanity. There isn't a person alive who has never been deceived. Theoden is everyone who has ever been caught in the bondage of drugs, sex, pornography, greed, gluttony, or countless other moral crimes. Theoden's struggle is representative of the one we all endure—the struggle for salvation. He is—more literally than any of the other characters—us.

In the final book, The Return of the King, Theoden fully redeems himself by mustering his soldiers to fight for the kingdom of Gondor and the very survival of the human race. Vastly outnumbered and facing certain death he charges headlong into battle on the Pelennor Fields before the human city of Minis Tirith.

Tolkien's description of Theoden in battle is radically different from the hollow shell he started out as:

"Fey he seemed, or the battle-fury of his fathers ran like new fire in his veins, and he was borne up on Snowmane like a king of old."

King Theoden in Peter Jackson's "The Return of the King"

In the fight Theoden is eventually defeated by the Witch-king of Angmar. The Witch-king is slain by Theoden's niece, Eowyn, who rode into battle in secret and against her uncle's wishes.

In the book Theoden is later found on the battlefield, broken and clinging to life, by his nephew, Eomer. Theoden passes his kingship onto his nephew and dies, saying, "I go to my fathers, and even in their mighty company I shall not now be ashamed."

Isn't that the hope we all should have, to get to the end of our lives and stand redeemed from all of our mistakes? Isn't it the joy of all believers to pass into the presence of our Heavenly Father and, in His mighty company, no longer feel disgraced for our sins?

King Theoden is a shining example of the redemptive journey we all need to take. There will be dark days. Foolishness will mire much of our character. We will face deception, trials of many kinds, hopelessness, blindness, and the dishonor of countless mistakes, but in the end, thanks to the work of Christ, we know that one day we will stand in Heaven unencumbered by our shame.

And, as Gandalf would say, "That is an encouraging thought."

Friday, September 12, 2014

Budgeting Myths That Are Probably Ruining Your Life

Budgeting myths that are probably ruining your life
Belief shapes behavior. If you believe Star Wars is superior to Star Trek you'll probably enjoy finding opportunities to slam Trek fans. If you believe eating chocolate is good for you, you'll probably get fat. If you believe that budgeting isn't necessary you'll probably go broke.

And if you are struggling with managing your money it might be because you're believing lies about the budgeting process. If you follow our blog at all you know that Dani and I budget regularly—if for no other reason than the fact that it works!—and we want you to be a budget-head too. It can be really hard to get started, but not because budgeting is actually hard—trust me, it's not—but because many people buy into some of the myths that turn the budget into a bad guy.

If you're smart—and we believe you are—then you can learn to let go of these myths, excuses, and misunderstandings, and start building the wealth you've always wanted to have.

Budgeting Myth #1

I don't have time to budget.

Sure, budgeting takes some time, but there's a difference between not having the time and not having the motivation, which is most likely the case, wouldn't you agree? Getting a budget up and running might take a few hours, but after that all it takes is a few minutes a week.

Want to know how much time Dani and I spend on our budget? About one hour a month. We keep track of our receipts and expenses, which takes a few seconds here and there, and at the end of the month we get together to compare our expenses to our budget, make adjustments, and plan for next month, but in total it probably doesn't take more than one hour.

Managing your money needs to be a higher priority since it is one of the largest contributing factors to the quality of your life. We have lots of posts to help you create a budget. Click here.

Budgeting Myth #2

I'm not good at math.

Oh, be quiet. Nobody is as bad at math as me. I loathe math. I jumped for joy when I finally graduated high school for the simple fact that I never had to open another math book again. There simply aren't enough synonyms for the word "detest" to describe how much I hate math.

And yet I budget.

Seriously, budgeting isn't rocket science. You've got your monthly income. You've got your monthly expenses. Those two numbers need to equal zero. Wham. Bam. There's your budget. You're welcome :-)

And thanks to budgeting software, you don't have to be good at math, you simply have to be able to follow instructions. Many of these programs are free and can be safely downloaded without fear of viruses or spyware from CNET's download.com. If you know how to use spreadsheet software, you can even make your own budget. Or, if you're like me and Dani, you can use paper and a plain, old-fashioned number 2 pencil.

Not doing a budget because you don't like math is a really lame excuse. Dave Ramsey has some really simple budgeting forms to help get you started.

Budgeting Myth #3

I keep track of budgeting in my head.

Uh-huh. Yeah. Sure you do. And that's why you never bounce a check, never find yourself overspending, and are sitting on a mountain of liquid cash. If you can seriously do a zero-based budget in your head every single month we’ll just assume you are the most brilliant person on the planet. Could you please help our government make a budget?

A budget in your head isn’t a budget. It’s just a vague-idea-of-what-I-spend deal-ish thing. To work, a budget needs to be written down so you can physically keep track of your assets. Moreover, if you're married and doing a budget in your head, how does that help your spouse? Guys, I'm talking at you! (And some ladies). You need to keep your spouse involved in the financial decision making.

Budgeting Myth #4

I don't need to budget because I keep track of everything I spend.

Great! That's budgeting. Sorta. Well, it's a start, but it's not a budget. If you're only keeping track of spending than you're only keeping track of the past. What about the future? The point of having a budget is to look ahead and plan for the coming month, year, and lifetime. You need to make plans for the money you haven't spent yet. Look forward AND back, not just one or the other.

Budgeting Myth #5

I want to be free to buy the things I want.

Cool. So do I. And that's why I budget. That doesn't mean I impulsively purchase every single thing I see, it means I've developed enough self-control to know where I want my money to go. If you like buying movies—like I do—budget for it. If you like getting coffee every morning—plan ahead. Need a new car? A camera? Need some landscaping done? Make. A. Budget! If you've got a budget for these things you will always have the money set aside for them, because a budget, over time, can build a cushion that provides increased purchasing power.

Read that again: increased purchasing power. Ooooh, I like the sounds of that!

The more of these myths—and others—you believe the more your actions will be defined by them. Don't let your future get bogged down under the weight of so many lies.

Keep pinchin' :-)

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Getting Back To Basics When Life Throws You Off Course

Getting Back To Basics When Life Throws You Off Course
We were so busy in the month of August that I didn't even have time to realize that our days in what once was our "forever home" were numbered. Then one day I got home from work and was half-way out of my car when it dawned on me, "This is our last night in our house."

Dani and I have decided to move in with my Grandmother for the time being as we continue our attempts to sell our house. By doing so we hope to save on some heating costs this winter while giving Grandma some much-needed helping hands around her home.

With this change in our living arrangements our financial situation has changed some too. It will likely change again once the house sells and we're out from under the burden of homeownership, and it will change again in a year or so when we find a new house... or apartment... or something.

All of this means we need to take a "back to basics" approach to our budget, which, when you think about it, isn't a bad thing to do every now and then anyway.

Since leading Financial Peace University, Dani and I have kept in touch with some of the people who attended. Some are doing well. Others have backslidden. One lady approached me last week and said, "I hope you're not planning another FPU reunion because my husband and I have made no progress with our finances at all!"

People in that kind of a situation think I'm going to be mad at them or disappointed, but there's no way I can fault them for their mistakes when I make plenty of my own. The more important thing is no matter how many times our financial mistakes trip us up that we dust ourselves off and get back up. Sometimes that may involve a budget "Reset," especially if you haven't been keeping track of your income and expenses.

We live in a society of perfectionism, where one mistake by a political leader or celebrity earns them a lifetime of public shunning, unforgiveness, and hatred. Anyone remember actor Mel Gibson's drunken anti semitic outrage back in 2006? Of course you do. Because despite his numerous attempts to publicly apologize for the incident and seek forgiveness from the jewish community, Gibson is still far more hated in America today than he is loved. Why? Because we found out he wasn't as cool and collected and heroic as the characters he portrays in film? Because we found out that he's a real human being with real problems?

Our culture, while admittedly imperfect, demands perfection. The moment someone doesn't live up to our expectations we diminish them.

Instinctively we apply this type of thinking to ourselves far too often. When we're faced with a project we can't complete perfectly, we quit. When stuck in a marriage that doesn't reach our standards, we divorce. When we're unable to follow a financial plan, we ignore it.

We know we're imperfect.

We say we're not striving for perfection.

Yet we fault ourselves, and others, when perfection is not obtained.

I don't know about you, but the word "absurd" comes to mind.

Perfectionism isn't really about being meticulous and perfect anyway. Essentially, it's about fear. We fear failure. We fear making mistakes. We fear disappointing others. Which is why people act so ashamed when they admit to me that their falling short on their financial budget.

Look, it's no surprise to me that you've fallen short. What would surprise me is if you said the budget is working great, that you've never screwed up, that you follow it to a T, you love it, because at that point I would just assume you're lying!

Maybe it's time to get back to some basics. Don't let the latest mistake keep you down. Revisit that budget, find out where you went wrong, and get back on track. Cut the fat. Mind the frivolous spending. Start putting money into savings again. Don't give up just because you've messed up.

Dani and I are going to be making lots of changes to our budget in the months ahead because our financial plan, as we laid it out years ago, has not become what we wanted it to be. Some of that's because of mistakes. Some of it's just plain the result of life interjecting the proverbial monkey wrenches. But all of that doesn't matter as long as we don't throw in the towel.

So, bear with us as we continue to figure it all out. And, while you're at it, pick up that budget, dust it off, and dive back in!

Keep pinchin' :-)